Close...

I think Lilah is close to being done with nursing...

I am not sure how I feel about it. It really is bittersweet. In a lot of ways, it is time. She is just days away from turning 2.5. It is more of a habit than anything. For a while now, I could let her nurse for seconds, tell her "okay" and she'll be done. No questions asked. For 2.5 years, I have nursed her before bed, almost every night. I think I can probably count on one hand (maybe two hands) how many nights she has not nursed before bed. How special is that? In the last week, I think she has nursed maybe twice before bed. I can easily distract her now if she asks. She will say "Nooky, please?", and I will say "Let's talk about the day" and she will start telling me all about her day. Most nights, she doesn't ask again and if she does, I will let her nurse. I know she will be done in time, and I really have no reason to force her to stop. It just isn't worth the tears to me. She sees Clara nurse, and I want her to be done on her terms. Not mine.

My nursing relationship with Lilah has been so wonderful. I didn't have that rocky period in the beginning like I had with Mairead. Lilah was a pro from the beginning. She loved to nurse. She loved to eat. It was the perfect combination. She was almost always a great nurser. Mairead could be tough if there were better things going on and Clara can be a pain, too - she is starting nursing acrobatics lately! Lilah just loved to nurse - no matter what! Lilah was so amazing about sharing her "nook" with Clara, too. There was never any jealousy when it came to nursing. There was plenty for each :)

Like I mentioned above, Lilah loved to nurse before bed. Once she got older, she didn't fall asleep nursing, it was just a nice way for her to wind down before bed. I'd rock her, sing to her and watch her nurse. With Mairead, she nursed every morning. She'd come into our bed around 5-6am, nurse and fall back asleep with us until 8am or even later. It's funny how kids can be so different. Each child had a different way of nursing that was more comforting for them. Mairead was a morning nurser and nursed until she was about 28-29 months. Lilah is a bedtime nurser.

I feel so lucky to have had such wonderful experiences nursing our children. I feel so fortunate to have given our girls such a great gift. I never would have thought I would tandem nurse my children. Never. I think back to what if I hadn't - I would have missed out on a lot of special moments with our girls.

While, it is sad for Lilah to be ending our nursing relationship, it makes me happy to have given her all the time she has needed. Having children close together can be tough, so, nursing our girls for longer than most gives me that special one-on-one time they may need.