Ultrasound tomorrow....

This stage of pregnancy tends to worry me the most - it is when my cervix tends to do all of the "shrinking". I am 18+ weeks by dates, and 17+ by ultrasound. Tomorrow, I believe I am having what is called the "fetal survey" where they will check all systems of baby to make sure everything looks normal and of course, will be checking the length of my cervix and cerclage. 

Since we've had several ultrasounds to date, nothing has looked abnormal thus far with baby, but that doesn't make me feel any better. There are still so many things still to look at. So many people call this ultrasound the "gender ultrasound" - no people, that is not why they do an ultrasound at this stage of pregnancy, for me, finding out the gender is just an added bonus of determining the health of our baby. This ultrasound is to make sure our baby is healthy. To make sure my cerclage is holding strong and my cervical length is staying in a "safe range". 

So, about gender. If you've read below, you may have read that we already have an idea what this little bean growing inside of me is. It's funny because most people assume that because we already have three beautiful (if I must say so myself) little girls that we are desperate for a boy (or that is why we got pregnant). No. That is not the case. For me, at this stage, it would really just be "easier" to have another girl. Nothing new to buy for, and honestly, the thought of having another little girl is just awesome. Don't jump to conclusions quite yet. If this baby is a boy, it will be great, too. It will add a whole different dimension to this family. This house is pink & purple and having a boy will rock this house royally! If this baby is a healthy baby boy, we are psyched. If this baby is a healthy baby girl, we are psyched. Sex does not matter to me, even after three healthy girls. It just doesn't matter. Really. 

If I said I wasn't worried about my cervical length, I'd be lying. I hate not knowing. I have a doppler here at home and when I wasn't feeling baby move, I'd listen to our baby and hear that glorious sound and feel relieved. Unfortunately, there is no "tool" like the doppler that can measure cervical length at home, so any pressure, cramping, pain, etc I feel is one big fat question mark. Every time I feel my cervix throbbing, I question myself....should I be worried? Is something going on? Or is this just normal everyday cramping that every women that has been pregnant three times before goes through? Do I call the doctor? It sucks. Obviously, chasing around three young girls there is only so much resting I can do, and I try to listen to my body as much as possible - and I try to reassure myself with my history...but that question mark still remains, and until I hit that big 24 week mark, I will continue to have these big time question marks. 

So, tomorrow we will find out a whole lot of things. I pray our baby is healthy. I pray my cervical length has not changed, unless for the better. If we accomplish those two things, I will be a happy, happy mamma. Will update tomorrow....with hopefully some good photos of our little one!