Four months old...

I stared at our sweet baby boy for a while this morning as he lay snuggled into my side nursing away, wondering how it could be possible that four months have passed since he came into our lives.

I will admit, having baby number four scared me a bit, and I may have mentioned this before. I often wondered how I was going to manage four children. When I had our first, it didn't phase me. Number two didn't rock my world much either, and I was pleasantly surprised with number three (though looking back, Clara was a bit high maintenance), so I knew that number four must throw a wrench into my life somehow. When Callum was born and we went through his intense NICU stay, I often wondered how I was going to manage. Was his illness our punishment for not stopping with three healthy girls or for something else I/we did wrong? I know now that isn't the case, but of course, when something so traumatic happens to your family, you wonder what you did wrong to deserve this. But just as I look back to last year as Kevin was being sent to the gulf and think this is the worst thing ever you come out knowing that much worse can happen, and I think we were/are so very lucky with Callum. Things could have been much worse. 

Looking at Callum this morning made me realize just how lucky we are to have him in our life. He is the sweetest, easiest baby ever. Since he has come home from the NICU, he's never had a bad day. He wakes up every morning with a smile, and goes to sleep the same way. He is so easy going and he has showed me that life with four can be just as wonderful as life with one, two or three. He is a love. I love how he just goes with the flow.

In the last week, he has really settled into a real routine. He wakes up, takes a nice morning nap, plays for a while, takes an afternoon nap, plays a while, cat naps during the evening and then is ready to go to bed around 8-830pm. He had been sleeping 10pm-5ish, but since he's going to bed early, he has been waking around 4am. I can't complain. He nurses every 2-3 hours during the day, and is starting to get excited when he knows I am about to nurse him! He has a hard time smiling and nursing at the same time, too! Sometimes I find myself trying not to look at him so he'll eat and not smile so much! He still loves the swing for his naps, but is getting much better about sleeping in his crib. For the last week, he has slept the night portion of sleep in his own crib before coming into our bed. He loves to be swaddled, too.

I will admit that over the last few weeks I started to become a bit worried about his development. He hadn't been tracking toys, though, I knew he could see because he'd follow me, but I still worried. He wasn't grasping for toys, just looked at them. I admitted to Kevin that he concerned me. He was born one month early and being critically ill definitely set him back. Once I spoke to Kevin about it, things changed. He must have heard me! Over the last few days he has started reaching for toys, especially under his play gym. He is belly laughing now when we talk to him. He is starting to track a bit, too.

We are so very lucky to have Callum in our lives. He has taught us more about life and he continues to do so. He brings so much joy to our family. I could just look at him all day long. The move to Virginia didn't seem to phase him too much!

So, happy 4 month birthday to the sweetest prince we know! We love you so much, Callum boy!