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Friday, May 25, 2012

...I didn't even look back


I remember the day that I pulled out of our driveway in Maine for what we thought would be the last time for a long, long time, if ever. I kept looking back, sulking, and sad with tears. The house Kevin and I poured our hearts and souls into, painting every inch, laying every square foot of flooring and countless other upgrades in our home making it our own, was no longer ours to live in. I pulled out of the driveway, gazed into my rearview mirror and turned left down the road and past the marsh. The girls yelled "good-bye house"...."good-bye water"....Memories kept flooding my mind remembering all the memories we had of this place, then turning out of our road and crossing the marsh for one last time. I never once took the beauty for granted. I looked back. And I kept looking back...We didn't want to leave.

Little did we know that we would be back. And that we would be back less than one year later.

But yesterday in Virginia, we packed up our van with four kids, two dogs and some clothes to get us through the next few days until our things would be unpacked in Maine. I put the car in drive and drove off like any other day. And it wasn't until I hit Maryland that I remembered that we would never be returning to that house again.   There was no "good-bye" house or any sulking or sadness and no looking back. Of course, happy memories of our family were made, met great friends and had experiences we never could have in Maine. I will admit, I felt a bit guilty about not closing this chapter of our lives appropriately with the girls because our life in Virginia wasn't horrible, but it just wasn't home and when we left, the excitement of going back just completely overtook everything about that moment...and I guess that is why I didn't look back.

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