Throwing in the towel!

Some days I put the kids to bed so fast because my fuse is about to burst. I feel bad that I read their stories so fast they can barely keep up, but today, was just one of those days I couldn't wait to end.

Our bed is pretty high up, and Callum was on it this morning, and I turned my back for one second....and BANG! There he was...on the floor. Hell, I spend more time telling my kids to be careful with him on our bed because they might push him off, and who is responsible for the first fall? ME. The MOM. Quick, someone yell at me. I need a time out.

This morning was a swim school day for the girls. The big girls go at 9am, then we come home for an hour (thankfully swim school is just a short walk from our house) and go back for Clara. This morning there was another mom watching. I chatted with her for a while, and then Lilah came walking over to her and started talking.


Lilah: "Are you a boy?"
The mom kind of had a blank stare like she wasn't quite sure what Lilah asked...I think she knew, but, well, you know... 
Lilah: "Are YOU a BOY?" 
Mom: "No, I am a girl, just like you"
Lilah: "Well your hair is short just like a boys"
Mom: "Yeah, I do have short hair"

I butt in and say that some girls have short hair, just like some boys have long hair. Trying to get her to SHUT IT.

Lilah: "Well you talk like a boy"

I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I was so embarrassed. In Lilah's defense, the women was not very feminine, but thankfully she was very nice about it! Kids hold nothing back and I mean NOTHING. 

Then this evening, we met a friend and her two kiddos at Friendly's for dinner. It was Kids eat free night, so we joined them! Clara and Callum were a bit wild, and we didn't have a high chair for Callum. He bounced and acted crazy in the booth until the food came. He ate, and as soon as he was done, he wanted out. I tried to clear the table from as many of the "weapons" as possible, except for one thing. The ketchup bottle and the glasses of water. All of a sudden, Callum picked up the ketchup, and chucked it toward Cindy, it hit the glasses of water, and spilled on her. It was HILARIOUS! And I am so glad she thought it was too. Callum just stood there with this look of "Did I JUST DO THAT!?"

Yeah, Buddy. Ya Did. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, we almost left the restaurant without Clara. Well, where was she you ask?  She was locked in the bathroom stall POOPING. 

On our way home, I had to stop by Target. We have a family friend here who is 13 hanging with us for the week, so she stayed in the car with the kiddos while I ran in. I jumped in the car and Lilah said she had to go potty. Knowing she had gone not to long ago, I ask if she could wait until we got home - 10 minutes? She hesitantly said yeah. Home we go...

Several times on the way home, she complains how bad she has to go. I tell her to squeeze her butt cheeks. We're almost home! 

I pull into the driveway, and she's practically halfway out of the car...she bolts into the house so fast. Then Mairead comes out of the house saying Lilah pooped her pants. Didn't quite make it....thankfully it was just a little squirt! Lilah says "My belly hurts, I guess that's what happens when we don't eat very healthy" - she knows! 

You think that's it?? NOPE. Well, the big girls are sharing a room with our house guest and tonight was Lilah's turn to sleep next to Lily. Mairead was pissed. She wanted to sleep next to her. Again. Of course, that's not how it goes. Mairead has a fit. Yells. Cries. Screams. 

I DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE.

Oh kid...good luck with that. And so folks, I ended my night on that note. I am so glad this crazy ass day is OVER.