Two Months

Two months ago today, I gave birth to our beautifully sweet Callum John.

For weeks leading up to Callum's birth I had a feeling something wasn't going to go right. I didn't know what it was, but I chalked it up to having a boy and knowing boys don't always behave as well as girls do, especially those who are born early.

When I entered the hospital the day before his birth, I had a voice telling me something was going to go wrong with Callum. Once again, I chalked it up to him being early and being a boy. I had some internal guilt knowing that he had a higher chance of problems because of his early birth due to my cervical incompetence. Many people said that he would come when he was ready, but unfortunately, for our children, this has never been the case. My cervical incompetence has always evicted our children before they were truly ready. Having three perfectly healthy girls before led me to believe "my luck was up".

After Callum was brought to the special care nursery a few hours after his birth, I really started to feel guilty, like I had done this to our baby boy. Not that I would wish our baby to be extremely ill, I did take comfort in knowing that his pulmonary hypertension was not caused by him being born early, and that most babies who have had this are full term infants. The neonatologists assured me of this.

Now, two months later, I look at our healthy, growing baby boy. He is perfect. The first days of his life were a glimpse into who Callum will be. Strong and determined. Doctors said he would be in the hospital for several weeks. He was in for 11 days. Doctors and nurses said he probably wouldn't be able to nurse for several days or longer after he was taken off of the ventilator. He nursed that night. He proved everyone wrong.

Callum is such a sweetheart. He is so content and sweet. He is easily consolable. Loves to sleep. Loves to snuggle. Loves to nurse. Loves to be moving. He is eerily like his big sister Lilah. She was the same way, but, if he is truly like her, his toddler years will be full of activity and craziness!

He is a great sleeper. He has his last feeding between 10-1030 and will now sleep anywhere from 5-6+ hours. He will then come into bed with us for the rest of the night. He nurses on demand, but usually every 2-3 hours during the day. He is smiling all the time now. You just have to talk to him and he smiles. He loves his sisters, and they love him dearly. He is truly an easy baby. A love.

Today, he had his well baby check at the pediatricians office. He weighed in at 9lbs8oz.......a 3lb8oz weight gain since he has been home from the hospital. He was 20.5'' long, 2'' longer than birth. He is growing, thriving and to this point, is developing normally. I only hope he continues to grow and thrive and do everything he is supposed to do. I can't help but wonder if he will suffer any longterm problems stemming from birth and beyond. But, all I can be is grateful that he is here with us.