My favorite things! For surviving parenthood...

So, I thought it might be fun to do a "favorite" things post to highlight a few (lifesaving) things I think make my life easier with four kids who ultimately rule my life...



1. Kangaroo Korner Pouch - unfortunately, they've gone out of business (I do not know why...). I will be honest, I almost cried when I found out they had closed. We've been using their fleece and cotton pouches since our oldest was 7 months old. So, you can't buy a new Kangaroo Korner pouch, but I highly suggest buying an adjustable pouch if you can find it, and if you can find a fleece one, grab it! The pouch is ideal for the wee ones - easy to keep warm, snuggly and very easy to nurse in, too. Once they get a bit older, the hip carry is one of my favorites. Baby wearing for me didn't start in full force until my 2nd daughter was born, then it was an absolute necessity for reasons I could go on and on for. I am on the search for a pouch that is as amazing and high quality as these ones were for us! Let me know if you find one or know of one!

2. Ergo Baby Carrier - by far one of my favorite, life saving items. If you are a mom, then you must purchase one of these. I've had my original one since Mairead (purchased in early 2007) and now onto our 4th child, it is still in perfect condition with lots and lots of life left in it. It has made shopping with my four kids by myself easier than you can imagine. The ability to carry a child on my back gives me the opportunity to do things like clean my house, shop, go for walks, hike, etc. I don't use the hip carry very often - I use my pouch for that, but have friends who do, and say it's great! I would say the ergo is ideal for babies 5 months and older unless you have an infant insert! I have used the baby bjorn (very briefly with baby #1) and honestly, I found it very uncomfortable once baby hit about 10lbs, and I don't think the baby looks that comfortable just hanging there. With the ergo, I've carried my 2-3 year old toddlers on my back before quite comfortably, actually!




3. Aden + Anais Muslin Wraps - Having worked as a labor & delivery nurse before kids, I swaddled like a pro, which was a lifesaving ability having children who loved swaddling. After three kids, I was always on the look out for a lightweight, stretchy swaddle blanket for my babies, especially since all four of them were obsessed with being swaddled! I heard of Aden + Anais and thought it would be a great thing to try! And let me tell you, I wish I had learned of these before my forth child. They are awesome! They are big, lightweight, stretchy, breathable and cute! These are even great if you have a spring/summer baby who is loving swaddling but you're afraid baby will get overheated - not with these! Go check them out!

4. Brookstone white noise machine - I don't know about you, but my kids have turned me into a white noise junky. With our 2nd daughter, Lilah, she was an amazing sleeper, but it had to be quiet. She didn't want to hear a thing. At first, we used a fan, but then, it didn't seem loud enough. So, I did a little research and came across this one. Now, we are still using the same one with our 4th child. It is great because it is compact, and works with a plug or with batteries, which is great for traveling! It has white noise and various other "baby soothing" sounds. The price is a little steep ($69) but, it has worked very well for our family, and we've used it for 3/4 of our children, and has traveled all over the place with us! I'd surely say we've gotten our money worth out of this!

5. Zutano Cozie Booties - I am not quite sure how I missed the boat on this product. After Clara was born, my parents had given a pink pair. I had never seen them before, but I knew they would be just perfect since she was a small infant in the winter in Maine, these were probably the best thing anyone had given Clara. They are soft. Cozy. and they stay on....and most importantly, they keep the tootsies nice and warm! They are machine washable, and they come out super soft and clean! I had always used robeez, but these I have to say are far superior to them, and they just look comfortable! Now with baby #4, zutano cozie booties are an absolute must. Callum has a pair of brown and creme, and he wears them everyday. No joke. I am also a fan of zutano because they are a Vermont based company that takes pride in good products. My children have worn zutano clothing and it is always high quality, comfortable clothing. The one thing I wish they would do is add some non-slip grips to the bottom of the bigger booties for the new walkers and walkers!

6. Britax B-Ready Double Stroller - Strollers are one of those things I have a love hate relationship with. Being a huge advocate of attachment parenting, I am not a huge stroller person, but with four kids who are all close in age, and a mamma who prefers to be on the go, a good, easily maneuverable double stroller is vital to a successful outing! We started life off with the Zooper Tango double, and that was just not good. It was hard to steer, it was hard to shop with, and storage was difficult. Then, we saw this one. I ordered it after reading great reviews (I never even laid hands on it before purchasing), and I have to say, all the reviews were right. It is a great double stroller! It can be pushed with one hand, it's like having a single stroller, but easily suits two children with ample storage space! It is a bit heavy, but it folds very easily. I love the versatility with this stroller, allowing Callum (the baby) to face forward to me or face outward. The big girls love to sit in the "jump" seat as we call it. The fabric is easily cleaned. The storage is big enough to store one of my kids. This stroller is awesome in a mall or any tight spaces, it really is like using a single stroller. I get stopped frequently by people asking what I thought of it, and honestly, I think it is great as far as strollers are concerned. Of course, there are negatives, but there are negatives with every stroller I have owned, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. I will be honest though, there were a few little "annoying" problems, like the back wheels squeaking, so I called customer service and Britax and without any serious questioning, new wheels were in the mail - free. Then, the jump seat wouldn't close, all I had to do was send in a photo, and the wheels still squeaked, so what did Britax do?? They sent me a completely brand new stroller and jump seat! We've had the new one since September, and we haven't had a single issue with it. So, A+ for customer service from Britax! So, if you're like me, and hate to drop a pretty penny on things like strollers, have no fear, because you know Britax is going to stand by their product 100%.



Stay tuned for more reviews of lifesaving products and a few other fun things I have in store for my blog - this could get exciting!

Interesting Quote

‎"When we spoil something, we deny it the conditions it requires. The real spoiling of children is not in the indulging of demands or the giving of gifts, but in the ignoring of their genuine needs." ~Dr. Gordon Neufeld

I couldn't agree with this quote more. I saw it one morning on facebook posted by the Attachment Parenting group I belong to. While I may not practice every aspect of attachment parenting, I do agree in their mission and I do follow many things that are considered 'attachment parenting' - I breastfeed my children, co-sleep, wear my babies, we don't spend long periods of time without our children, etc. I go back and forth about homeschooling our girls, but I'm just not quite sure it's for me. We'll see.

When I read the quote above, I think about those who believe you can spoil an infant by holding it too much or giving in to "its demands"...Hmmmm...I really don't think infants, especially those who are less than than 6 months of age are able to give demands. Those demands are simply their genuine needs. Babies are meant to be held and kept close. What did people do with their babies way before all these "parenting gurus" had something to say? They breastfed, held, loved and slept with their babies. I think back to our girls when they were young, and they cried. I couldn't ignore those cries. I couldn't just let them cry, especially if all they wanted was something as simple as me or Kevin picking them up, holding them close or wanting something so innocent. Even with two young children, having a small infant on top of that was a challenge at times, and the only way to handle a crying infant who wants her mommy or daddy was to wear her. I could have both of my hands to care for the older girls all while holding Clara close. Everyone was happy this way. We could still read, bake cookies, go on walks or do whatever. It makes parenting children who are close in age a lot easier and less stressful. I don't know about you, but a crying infant stresses me out. I can't handle it, especially knowing that they just want something so simple. 

Last spring, when Clara stopped sleeping well, people would tell me the only thing I could do was to let her cry it out. At 6 months of age, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't walk away and let her scream by herself. I know some people can do that, and some babies are receptive to that type of parenting, but for me, it is just impossible. It isn't until my children are closer to one where I can let them cry a bit, and even then, it's just for a very, very short period of time. I want them to trust us, I want them to learn that we will come when they need us. If our children need to sleep in our bed to feel secure, they can sleep in our bed. Right now, we use a cot in our room for the older girls when they need to feel close to us. It works for us.

At 14 months, Clara is an amazing sleeper. She goes to sleep in her crib awake, with a smile, and sleeps for a solid 12 hours straight, and wakes up with a smile on her face. I still nurse Clara before bed, and even to sleep if that is what she wants, I do the same for naps, too. Nursing them to sleep does not spoil them, it teaches them comfort. Mairead and Lilah are the same, they are great sleepers, and I am glad that they have learned to go to sleep without crying. I don't know about you, but I hate to cry, and when I do, I always feel like crap afterwards - headache, puffy eyes, and just generally feeling icky. 

So, for me, responding to my children when they need something is not spoiling them, I am just providing for them by meeting their current needs. By holding children and responding to their needs, you are teaching them to love and trust, and for me, this is the ultimate way to parent children. 

I love date nights!

Last night Kevin and I had a dinner out alone...well sort of, Clara came with! We made reservations for a restaurant here in Portland called "The Grill Room". It is an awesome restaurant where you can get some pretty yummy steaks among other things. I love the atmosphere, all exposed brick and beams, so rustic. We had really wanted to leave Clara with our babysitter, but she can be quite high maintenance during the 730p-930p hour where all she wants to do is nurse. She doesn't even want much to do with her daddy...just the boob. I couldn't leave her knowing she would most likely cry for the evening. It wasn't fair for her or the sitter, so along she came!

You don't realize when you have just one child how easy an infant is, but when you have toddlers, you quickly realize a dinner with a 4 month old can be pretty enjoyable! Kevin and I were able to enjoy some adult conversation, a good drink or two, and yummy food. Clara enjoyed all the extra attention from the waitstaff! She flirted, and smiled at everyone.

Kevin and I each started off with a crock of french onion soup. I love it. Of course, Clara started to get fussy, so I whipped out my pouch from Kangaroo Korner, put her in, let her nurse and I continued to enjoy my soup. Wearing your baby sure does make things a lot easier. I was able to enjoy my dinner, and she was able to enjoy a snack, too! Clara eventually fell asleep in the pouch, which meant Kevin and I were left to enjoy a quiet dinner all to ourselves. After our soup, we enjoyed Filet Mignon, Kevin had duck fat potatoes, and I had macaroni n cheese. We finished up our dinner with some fresh cinnamon sugar doughnuts with some vanilla ice cream. YUM!

All in all, it was a very nice evening  out together. I look forward to when we can start leaving Clara at home with the girls. It would have been nice to continue our evening listening to some live music at one of the bars downtown, but that's okay...Kevin and I were able to spend some quality time together., and that is all that matters...

It was a great night to celebrate my birthday and Valentines all at once!

Attachment Parenting

“Nothing is more important in the world today than the nurturing that children receive in the first three years of life, for it is in these earliest years that the capacities for trust, empathy, and affection originate.” ~ Elliott Barker, M.D

 

How could you disagree with this statement? For me, I completely agree with the first few years of life being the foundation for a well adjusted child. I know Kevin and I are big believers in what is called Attachment Parenting. 

If you had told me before I had children I would be a big believer in babywearing, nursing, co-sleeping, not letting our children cry it out, etc, I may have said, "yeah, right". My baby will cry it out, she'll never be in our bed and she'll be fine. When we brought Mairead home, she and I would fall asleep in bed together. We all slept better, and to be honest, it just felt right. For 9 months my child had been snuggled up inside of me with every need being met. She never felt hunger, cold, or alone; I was always there to meet every need before she even felt it. All of a sudden, she was born, and she started to feel hunger, cold and without her mommy. I certainly couldn't expect my child to all of a sudden be okay without me, she needed her mommy to be close with her.

I wanted to make sure I was sensitive to my children's cues. When my baby cried, it was for a reason, and I wanted to make sure we responded promptly to those cries. I firmly believe that a baby cries for a reason. I read the first 12 weeks an infant does not know they are now separate from their mother, so when they are put down (especially in a bassinet, etc), they may feel as though something is missing from them. It completely makes sense, and I think after having Clara, this was particularly true for her. She hated to be put down or away from me, and it is only until very recent that she can ride in the car without screaming, now, once she hears my voice, she knows she is okay. 

I never believed I would be an advocate of co-sleeping either. Like I mentioned above, it was after Mairead was born that I started to be a believer in it. Once Kevin and I realized how much better life was with more sleep, and a happy infant, we were sold. This is what people did hundreds of years ago; they slept with their baby. Mairead slept in our bed until recently (just in the morning), Lilah slept in our bed until about 10-12 months old (when she wanted to be in her own bed), and Clara currently sleeps with us. She falls asleep in her bed next to mine, and when she wakes the first time, she comes into our bed and spend the rest of the night there. It just feels right to us, and if it helps our child feel more secure, we are 100% on board with it.

We also love babywearing! We love our fleece and cotton adjustable couch from Kangaroo Korner, and have used it with all three girls. Whenever our girls were fussy and couldn't settle, all we had to do was place them in the pouch, and immediately they would settle down. It was our lifesaver. Not only did it help with a fussy baby, but it also gave you your hands back, which it vital when you have other little ones to take care of, too! When our girls got bigger, we used the Ergo Baby Carrier,  it is awesome. Babywearing felt so natural for me (and Kevin). It was a way our baby could feel safe and secure, and for us, that was important. 

Nursing is a vital part of raising my girls. I had always been a supporter of breastfeeding moms, but now that I am nursing, and have been nursing for almost 4 years consecutively, there is so much more to just feeding your baby. For me, nursing isn't just feeding my baby, it is bonding with them, and allowing them to feel secure. It is the most natural thing, and I feel so lucky to have been able to nurse my babies for so long. Nursing has been and is a very important part of my girls life thus far. Mairead nursed for close to 30 months, and even though she got little nutrition from my milk at that point, she was getting love and learning affection and trust. I love that Mairead has such fond memories of nursing, and now, with two younger sisters who are nursing, she is so supportive and loving. She nurses her babies, and talks about how good it makes them feel. It's an amazing feeling for me to hear her talk like that. 

There have been some tough times where I had felt like I wanted to let my baby cry it out, or not sleep with us, but I took a deep breath, and asked myself what was important. I thought about all the people in our life who were trying to have babies, or who lost babies, and I started to feel lucky. I had beautiful children, and if all they wanted was their mommy or daddy to hold, rock or nurse them, I felt lucky I could give them that, and we did.

I feel as though this style of parenting will give my children the extra boost to be caring, compassionate, connected, and confident children. I want my children to know that me and Kevin are always there for them. I know we cannot take all the credit for who our girls become, but I do know the way our children were raised in the first years of their life will help them become strong, independent individuals.

Manic Mondays!

Why can Mondays be so painful!?!

Every Monday I always ask myself what was I thinking signing Mairead up for a 1015am dance class!? It is at the most horrible time. I feel like as soon as we get out of bed we rush, rush, rush! This morning, Mairead was up at 7am, which is very early for her. When she wakes early, I know it's going to be a "whine, whine, whine" day...We're trying to teach her to stay in her room until it is time to "wake up", which is about 8am. We have an alarm clock in there, and when the radio goes off, she is allowed to come out of her room. She's getting better at it. For almost 4 years, she has woken up most mornings next to her momma. Kevin and I both feel it is time for her to wake up in her own bed. Lilah does it, and it's Mairead's time. I miss it though...

Once Mairead's alarm went off, she came and snuggled with me and Clara. It was great. I love the morning snuggle time with my girls. Once that was over, I jumped in the shower. Lilah was still asleep at this point. By 845am, Lilah was still asleep. I opened her door, and she eventually made her way into our bedroom....crabby. Ugh. I could see the writing on the wall. Mairead, whiney....Lilah, crabby....a recipe for fighting! She hopped into bed with Mairead, and they started fighting immediately. Lilah wanted this, Mairead wanted that, Lilah didn't have enough blankets, Mairead wanted more blankets......see the trend of the day starting? You know how I feel about whining! It immediately put me in whine overload.

We finally made our way downstairs, and they were hungry. We had a very early dinner yesterday, and  coupled with a fairly early bedtime, they were more than ready to eat this morning! Once breakfast was done, we had to get dressed and ready to head out to dance class. Once I got Lilah dressed, she was undressed and in dress up clothes! I was able to nurse Clara while the girls played for a few. The poor kid was ready to go down for her morning nap, but little did she know, the nap would be "on the go" today. It's tough because she doesn't even have time for a little cat nap.

We got to dance at 1010am. Surprised we weren't late! Lilah has a snack while she watches Mairead dance. She wants to participate so badly. I can't wait until she is old enough to dance. Once dance was over, we made our way to Hannaford to do a grocery run. The girls are so good in the grocery store! I am so thankful for that. People usually look at me like I am crazy for bringing three little children to the store by myself, but how else is the kitchen going to be stocked??? I also think it is important for them (all of them) to know how to behave out in public. Mairead walks, Lilah is in the cart, and I wear Clara in my fleece pouch from Kangaroo Korner. If they show good behavior, then they get to eat the dum-dum pop they got from the dance studio halfway through the store.

Once that was done, we headed home. The girls played......fought.......played......fought. Lilah was throwing things, and misbehaving. Mairead was upset that Lilah was throwing the toys she was playing with. Lunch finally came, and then nap/rest time.......ah, in the nick of time. Clara crashed! Lilah did, too! Mairead is now resting in our bedroom. I am so lucky all three of my girls nap/rest at the same time each day, it surely gives me time to regroup myself, have a little "me" time, and clean up the house.

I just had a nice, peaceful lunch, and hoping for a more enjoyable afternoon with my girls.