My sleep is more important than yours...

Do you ever have this discussion with your husband? And more importantly, do you ever have this discussion with your husband in the middle of the night?! (and have you ever argued about it in the middle of the night???)

The baby is crying. Okay, screaming. It's 2am and you don't want to get out of bed. You lay there quietly pretending to sleep while hoping that your husband will get tired of hearing the baby and jump out of bed to rock the baby back to sleep. You just want a few more hours of your bed to yourself.

Sound familiar?

Except. It just doesn't happen once in a great while. It happens almost every night. And after 13 months of getting up in the middle of the night, you've hit a wall, you realized you need more sleep. And not just one night of decent sleep, but a more consistent sleep pattern? (I am not talking 12 hours straight, but more like 6? 8?)

Then your husband realizes after a few nights that getting up in the middle of the night is the mammas job. And then you both wait silently in bed waiting for the other to get up. I know Kevin is just laying there praying I am the one who jumps out of bed, grabs the baby and brings him back to our bed to nurse him so he can go back to sleep. But, What. About. Me? What about my sleep? Yeah, sometimes I fall back to sleep with Callum nursing with an open bar of milk, indulging himself for an hour, sometimes more, but I can't always fall back to sleep.

Please tell me I am not the only one??? Hello? Anyone... 

Don't get me wrong, I love my snuggle time with my babies, but I also love my sleep. And I need more. 

Do you ever get into a "heated" 2am conversation about how your sleep is more important than his, and he says his sleep is more important than yours. Yeah. He has to work. (but don't I, too?). I give our babies a year of my patience with multiple nighttime wakings, and I am realistic about my expectations, but Callum, you slept 8-10 hours as a very small infant can you please, please, please sleep more than you have been sleeping??? All I need is help for a short period to get him sleeping longer stretches!

I am not quite sure what it is. Teeth? (my guess since he only has two teeth) Growth spurt? the sheer fact that he is still in our room (albeit in his separate space, but he can still see us) or the fact that he just wants to suck on B@@by. You see, all the girls had a  roller coaster first year of sleep. Sleeping through the night by 6-8 weeks followed by crap sleep starting at 4 months through about 10-12 months, but then sleeping 10 hours by one. Well, not this cat. His sleeping is just not cool. And since we do not do "cry it out" it takes a little bit more of an effort on my part, but in the end, all the girls end up being great sleepers!

But of course, last night he proved to me that he can sleep until 4am (8 hours)!

Special Blankets...

I don't know about your kids, but all of mine have a special blanket. When our children were babies, I swaddled them and swaddled them tight. Each of our kids blankets come from special places, some were given as gifts, and others were purchased by me before birth, wherever they came from, they are all very much loved.

Some of our blankets have traveled a lot of miles with our children and have received a lot of use and abuse. They provide comfort to our children when they are in a place that is not their own.

You can see both Callum and Lilah snuggling with their blankets on our most recent trip to Mexico. Callum snuggled right in with his while he took his naps on the plane, and Lilah used hers to keep her warm, Whatever the reason, every child needs a blanket. I tend to look at blankets and remember certain memories of our different children using them.

I've always wanted to make blankets, but I just haven't gotten to know my sewing machine on a very personal basis yet, and have always admired those who are able to create such treasured items in a child's life, so for now, I will admire from afar, but some day, I will embark on a challenge to create special blankets made out of special clothing I have set aside from our children's infant wardrobe.

So, where is this going you may be asking yourself? 

Well, a friend of mine (and mamma to six children) has embarked on her own journey to start a business selling homemade quilts and other awesomely created items! I envy her talent and would love to help her business take off and this is why I am sharing her with you! Any mom who has 6 children and can create what she does is special, and that is why we will be hosting a giveaway for one of her fantastic items. For those who read my blog, this will serve as a thank you for being faithful readers!

This will be a great opportunity for you to have a chance to snatch up that special blanket for your child or if you know of someone who is in need of one, you can send them here to enter our giveaway! If you are not the lucky winner of the quilt, you will have a chance to grab an item from Heather's store at a discounted price.

Heather will be guest blogging this week and we will announce all the details of the giveaway - so stay tuned for further details (and spread the word)!

10

Today, our sweet, amazingly strong little Callum John is 10 months old. And boy, has he come a long, long way!

I am so not ready to sing Happy Birthday to our little boy. It just does not seem feasible he could be only two months shy of his very first birthday. And honestly, I am not ready to relive all those sad moments we had, and how I still wish I could have those first few hours of his birth back again without all those scary moments. I still yearn for those 'newborn moments' I was able to have with our girls. Holding them, nursing them and staring at them well into the night when I should be sleeping but can't. I don't want to relive all those scary feelings all over again, and I will try not to think about the bad things, but the good things, the amazing things, like how he is growing and developing into a normal little boy. He continues to remind us how strong he is in every way of the word.

I am not going to dwell into the past and think about the negative. I need to look at our boy today and think of how very lucky we are to have him with us as healthy and feisty as he possibly could be. I want to act so very thankful to each and every person who prayed for our family, helped our family in one of the most difficult moments emotionally for our family, and it is because of Callum that we were shown the true meaning of family and friendship.

Today, Callum continues to be the easiest going baby. He is happy and smiling every day (even after a little stomach bug we all had, he'd puke, look at me, and go back to sleep). He loves to snuggle, loves his mamma and loves to explore all the new surroundings independently. He is crawling, sometimes on all fours, but with all the wood floors, it is difficult for him because he slides. He can pull himself up pretty much anywhere. He is not really into his exersaucer anymore, as he does not want to be confined. He.Is.Everywhere. I am having to vacuum and scour the floor for small pieces of whatever may be found every second of the day - have I mentioned how much I hate crawling???  He can get into a sitting position from a crawl, and can sit on his knees like a big boy. He seeks out his big sisters more and more, trying to find where they are, and starting to spend more time in the room they are in. After all, they are much more exciting than I am!

And if this trait doesn't scream BOY, I am not sure what does - He cannot be held by me without him sticking his hand down my shirt. I am not sure if this is a boy thing or what, but his big sisters never did this. He loves them. And he will even squeeze them multiple times when he is really wanting to nurse and he can squeeze HARD. He loves to nurse, but has also taken a lovin' to table food, too. He is eating two full meals per day, and starting with a small snack at lunch time in the last few days. He loves fruits of all kinds, eggs, waffles and yogurt for breakfast, and will eat pretty much anything for dinner - steak, chicken, fish, pasta, you name it - he loves it. He loves to drink out of a cup, too. Will scream and smack his lips if he sees me or anyone near him drinking from a cup. Orange juice? He loves it.

His sleeping waxes and wanes - and I am getting ready for him to nurse less and sleep more at night! He takes one really good nap in
the afternoon, about 2.5-3hrs, sometimes a cat nap in the morning, but those are becoming less and less. He is asleep before 8pm at night, and will wake up anywhere from 12am-2am - I am a much happier mamma when it is 2am, and not 12am. He will usually be up around 4-6am, and then for the day around 730-8am. I can't complain. He can put himself to sleep, he loves his cribby and he is a very happy, easy baby....so for now, I will be patient. After all, he won't be a baby forever...I am trying to enjoy all of these baby moments with him...

He has no teeth and no signs of any, but, I know it could be anytime. The girls were between 10-13months when they got their first teeth. He loves to play outside and be wheeled around in his little tykes car. He loves to swing at the playground. And he loves to dance! I joke around with Kevin that Callum will be our "tiny dancer" ;)!  He isn't saying mamma yet, but he is really close - he can say baba and babbles a lot, just no mamma or dadda yet. The girls said mamma first. He loves to clap at himself and at his sisters when they're swimming, and has just started signing 'more', too! He is changing so fast. He is starting to look more and more like a little toddler than an infant. I am not ready to not have a baby in the house...So not ready...

Surely not the model parent

I am surely not the poster parent for safe sleeping.

Here is Callum sleeping like a baby in his crib.

Yes. There is a crib bumper. And yes, I've heard the memo.

Yes. There is a blanket. Yep, heard about that memo, too.

And Yes. His face is planted firmly into his 'lil pup. Never wake a sleeping baby, right?

Please. Don't report me. And I may or may not be the person to ask for sleeping advice :)

Practice is tiring!

About a week ago, Callum figured out how to pull up on the furniture! He is certainly moving right along in that department.

Kevin put down his crib. And the next day, he was pulling himself up in there, too.

For the last few days, his afternoon naps have not been stellar. I am not going to complain though. And here is why...

When the girls all learned to stand up in their crib, they couldn't get down, but instead of practicing during nap or during the day for that matter, they all felt the need to practice in the middle of the night. I remember many nights with all three girls who were determined to stand up in their crib. The problem? They didn't know how to get down!

With Callum, he doesn't practice during the night (yet) but practices during naps. He will sleep for 30 minutes then want to stand up to play. The best thing about Callum is that he doesn't care about falling, and he has figured out how to sit down pretty quickly.

I guess he got so tired practicing pulling himself up over and over again (how do I know? I watch him on our video monitor) that he fell asleep just like this? I guess he was too tired to lay back down! :)

........and I guess I am a bad mamma for having the crib bumper in there!

The breakdown of a "Fairy" sleepover

Earlier in the week, the girls asked if they could all have a sleepover together. We said that on Friday they could have a sleepover, as long as they had good behavior for the week.

So. Today is Friday. And the girls did not forget. A sleepover it is...

Mairead and Lilah have had "sleepovers" before, and they generally do very well together...but tonight, we were adding Clara into the mix. This would be her very first "sleepover" with her big sisters. 

The fun started at about 7:50pm - the excitement was building here in the Ferrie household. This mamma had to whip out her phone to snap a few shots of the happiness going on.

Of course, Clara had to have a little "before bed" snack...

Mairead had to snuggle with Clara before they headed to their own beds. 

Then I tried to snap a shot of all three of them together. 

Clara was less than cooperative. And Lilah was just plain fed up. You see, when Lilah doesn't nap, she is ready to go to bed NOW.  Can you say attitude??? 

Then, Clara had to cover her face, Mairead thought it was funny, and Lilah thought...hey, if Clara doesn't have to look, then why should I smile - let's be funny! 

8:00pm - good night kisses and lights out......

I head downstairs and start to stuff some cloth diapers

8:04pm - Lilah comes downstairs to tattle on Clara not being quiet.

8:07pm - Lilah comes back downstairs to tattle on Clara not staying in her bed.

8:10pm - Lilah comes downstairs again to tell me that Clara hit her. I then tell her that if she comes down again, everyone is going back in their rooms.

8:15pm - no sign of any tattling going on. Did my threat work?

8:24pm - I hear Clara yelling at Mairead. I think I'll ignore that. 

8:35pm - I sneak upstairs. I hear Clara chatting away. I sneak my head in and Mairead says "Mom, can you tell Clara to BE QUIET!!!???" Clara is having a grand old time! 

8:57pm - Three little "fairies" fast asleep...I'd say a successful sleepover! 

Our Big Boy

Callum had his 6 month check up (at almost 7 months) with our new pediatrician. I had been meaning to get him in earlier, but, it just didn't happen, and it doesn't help that I am extremely picky when it comes to doctors. We loved our pediatrician in Maine and I knew it would be next to impossible to find a practice that was small, intimate with awesome doctors. But, there is hope.

I was recommended this practice by a few people. Three female doctors, which I liked and an overall easygoing, laid back feel. Callum was a complete flirt with the entire staff.

The nurse weighed Callum, 16lbs8oz (25%), up from 12lbs in July! Whoa, boy! He measured 25'' (10%). The pediatrician did a double take with his length, and then asked how tall Kevin was - 5'7'', I replied. Callum is definitely not going to be a tall boy! Our dads are both about 5'7'', and my brother is about the same, so, Callum doesn't have much of a chance to be tall!

Our pediatrician was very interested in Callum's birth story. She looked at his thick chart and said "I'll read this later, I am very interested". I told her the very short version and she looked at Callum with amazement in her eyes and said, it looks like you have one very lucky little boy who looks to be doing absolutely perfectly! And she was right, Callum couldn't be doing any better. He is healthy, happy and developing. And we can't ask for any more than that.

She asked if he was rolling over, and I chuckled. Well, yeah. Kind of. I told her he doesn't roll over very much, but she said as long as he has rolled over both ways, that was all that mattered, and he has, on his own terms, when is big sisters aren't doing it for him. I will be honest, I was a little worried that he doesn't barrel roll all over the place like his sisters did at this age, but she said not to worry. She was impressed with how well he was sitting up, which is a milestone he has been working on diligently for the last week. He is able to sit up for up to a few minutes if he is interested enough in a toy.

The next topic, sleep. Amazingly, he has been swing free for exactly one week. He must have overheard Kevin and I discussing how the hell we were going to get him into his cribs for naps. He was sleeping 2-3 hours in his swing for naps, and nap time is well, very much needed in this house! Then, he started to get really restless for naps in his swing, and we tried him in his crib and he did awesome. And continued to do so. So, he sleeps 100% in his crib and doing great. The pediatrician didn't even bat an eyelash when I told her we continue to co-sleep part-time. He wakes up between 2-5am, and comes into our bed.

She asked about solid food, and told her we just started. She asked what he was eating and told her table food. I told her in the last week he's had haddock, mashed potatoes, carrots, chicken & veggie soup and countless other items, and was doing fabulously. Once again, no weird looks or telling me what he "should" be doing.

I then brought up his NICU follow up study that he qualified for in Maine. Any baby born before 30 weeks or on nitric oxide qualified for this study. She thought he should be seen, even though she didn't have any concerns with his development. So, this week, I am going to call INOVA Fairfax to find out more information on how to get him seen. I am very interested to do this, just to give another data point on how babies with pulmonary hypertension and nitric oxide are doing. I have read a lot of information in the last 7 months regarding outcomes on babies with pulmonary hypertension and it really is such a huge spectrum, with many babies suffering long term affects from their course.

All in all, a very successful well-child check with our new pediatrician. Oh and our poor baby got three shots! His leg was sore that evening, but overall, did just fine!

Half of a Year

I don't know about you, but life with kids is equivalent to life in the fast lane. Time goes by fast. Really fast. And when you have a baby, time goes by too fast.

Somehow, our sweet little Callum is six months old already. A half of a year. How is this possible? I know I sound like a broken record, but seriously, where the hell has time gone? How is it that he is 6 months old already? I am not ready for him to grow up. I love having a little baby to snuggle with. To nurse. To hold. To sleep next to. I love having a baby. I love babies. I could keep having them, really, I could...but don't worry, I won't :)

We've been in New England enjoying time with family and friends for the last ten days, which explains my absence on my blog. All of our family and friends cannot believe the changes in our sweet Callum. He is no longer the little baby. He changes everyday. No really, he does.

Callum is so laid back. His demeanor reminds me of Lilah as an infant. Just easy going. Happy just being with you. He may be even more laid back than his sister and I don't blame him. He has so much entertainment going on around him that he doesn't need to do anything on his own. He can roll over from belly to back, but it's only when he feels it is completely and utterly necessary to try - but why does he need to do it on his own? He has three sisters that will come over to him as he is screaming on his belly and roll him over. Yep. No need to even try. Drop a toy? No need to try and grab the toy, he'll just scream and one of his sisters will run over asap and grab the toy for him.

Sometimes his utter laziness worries me. I try not to think about his rough start and everything he went through. I try not to worry that everything we dealt in the beginning is a reason he is so lazy, and not barrel rolling across the room like his sisters did at this age. I tell myself that babies have such a wide range of "normal" when it comes to achieving milestones and the fact that he is progressing is the most important, even if it is slow.

I love that all I have to do is look at the prince to get him to smile, coo, laugh at me. He's just happy being with me. I love it. He is such a good baby, no, really he is. He is so easy. SO easy. I deserve it though after everything he put us through in the beginning. He had me wrapped around his little finger from hello. He loves his sisters. In the last month or so, he has really started to recognize them. He loves when they play rough with him. Clara's favorite line "He's laughin' mamma, he's laughin' at me!" - and he does. Just as I go to say "Clara! BE nice to him"- he starts laughing or has a smile on his face, which makes it tough to say "You're going to hurt him!" - "But maaaaaa! he likes it! he is smiling at me!" - they're right :).

Callum is a pretty good sleeper. He takes two good naps per day. One around 10am for about 1-2 hours and then another around 130-2pm for 2-3 hours. Depending on how well he naps during the day, he may/not take a quick evening snooze before he goes down for the night. He naps in his swing. I've tried breaking him of this habit, but it's just not working, so for now, I am not messing with success. I think once he can roll freely, he'll do great in his crib, but for now, he's in the swing. He generally is more than ready for bed around 730pm. I'll nurse him before Kevin and I head for bed around 1030 and he'll sleep anywhere from 4-8 hours. I never know. Overall, he has an amazing potential to be an awesome sleeper, so for now, I will just enjoy the cuddling at night. It surely won't last forever and I promised myself I would enjoy every last second with our last baby. He is also a "blankey" baby - he loves to snuggle with a blanket every chance he gets - in the car, stroller, bed, swing, you name it, he loves blankets.

I shouldn't have to mention that he loves to nurse. And I love to nurse him. He is nursing every 2-3 hours during the day and I have yet to even start solids with him. He just seems so immature and seems perfectly content on mamma's milk. Probably in the next few weeks, I will start giving him more and more tastes. He has however tried sucking on my apple, and loves it, but that is all he has had. If you were reading my blog when Clara was an infant, you may remember how lazy I was to start solids with her. Yeah. It will be a while before he is getting solids on a regular basis. I want to keep him little as long as possible :)

So, I just can't express how lucky we are to have such an amazingly sweet little prince. I can't hold him enough, love him enough, and snuggle with him enough. He's just so good. We are so lucky to have him with me. I honestly try each and every day to enjoy him because soon enough, he will be running around with his big sisters and not need his mamma so much.

Mooty

At just shy of two, I declare Clara officially not a baby anymore and 100% toddler. She has the vocabulary explosion, temper, attitude, indecisiveness and sweetness (the list could go on and on, really) to show for it, too.

The one little baby thing she has left is that she is still nursing. Usually it is just once a day, though sometimes two, but almost always at bedtime.

The last few nights she will ask for "Mooty" and point to the breast she wants to start. Keep in mind that Callum always nurses on my right side when he goes to bed, so that side is generally a big disappointment for her, and always switches to the left side (which Callum will nurse on before we go to bed).

Tonight, she says "Maaam, I want that mooty" as she points to my right breast. She nurses for a few seconds. Comes off and says "Maam, I want that mooty" as she points to my left breast. She nurses for more than a few seconds, comes off and says "Maam I want the other mooty" and as you may have guessed, nursed on the right side. Not joking, she does this about 5 or 6 times before she finally settles on my left breast.

Once she is done nursing, we lay belly to belly, and I sing a few songs to her. She will wrap her right arm tightly around me and just hold me as if I am her great big lovey. You can't even imagine just how tight this little girl holds you, but it just feels so good. It makes me feel so loved and special. Sometimes I will try to get up, she'll say "nooo, mamma" and pull me even tighter. Such a great way to end the day...

Is it worth the fight?

The long and short of it is......we're still fighting with Clara's sleep.

Before we left Florida, Clara's sleep started to go downhill. Unfortunately, since we were going to Florida, we couldn't do anything about it until we got back from our trip. So, we dealt with it. While we were in Florida......which reminds me, I still have to blog about our trip. I'm in the midst of editing and going through photos. Lots of them. Ok....back to what I was saying...while we were in Florida, Clara absolutely refused to sleep in the pack in play at night. It surely wasn't worth the fight, so into our bed she came. Every night Clara slept with us from start to finish. She was snuggled all cozy coze in my boobies, and she was happy as a pig in.......

Of course, when we get back from Florida, Clara's sleep habits were way worse than they were before we left. Let me tell you...we surely have paid for it. The first few nights back home, she was up every hour. Would you believe me if I told you she slept better as a newborn than she did as a 6 month old infant? Well, she has.

Anyways, sleep is one of those issues where everyone has their opinion about how sleep should be managed with infants. If I feel inclined, I may ask friends what they did, but I usually keep my thoughts to myself. Why? Well, I choose not to let our children "cry it out". I don't do ferber. I believe in teaching my children to sleep over time. I am not looking for an overnight solution, and while that may mean weeks or months of interrupted sleep, or even more, I am okay with that....on most days. I will be honest with you though. Me not believing in letting my children crying it out does not mean my children do not cry in their crib. I will let them fuss for a few minutes, but once they get going, I will go to them. I may let them cry in their crib while I pat their back, but I just can't leave them to cry on their own for more than a few minutes. Having a video monitor helps me tell if  I need to go to them, or not. It was worth every penny to have that thing!

Don't get me wrong. Me not believing in ferber does not mean that it doesn't work, or it shouldn't be done, it just means it's not for me. I just can't do it. I hate to cry for longer periods of time. I feel like crap. I get a headache, my eyes are puffy, my nose is stuffed up, and I just feel yucky. I just don't want my children to feel like that.

With Clara, she is different. Tonight, I came up with the nickname of 'Clingy Clara' - she's not a clingy baby, but she is definitely attached. She loves to be with you. Near you. Touching you. All snuggled up. I think that's her problem - if you want to call it a problem. She is going through some sort of separation issues at night, and I have come to think she may not be ready to be on her own yet. She was born 4 weeks early, and I am thinking she may be a bit immature. She is back to sleeping in our room again. Her crying and frequent waking at night was tough on everyone. Me & Kevin having to get up out of bed every hour. Having to watch Mairead stir, toss & turn while Clara cries. It's not fair for Mairead to be interrupted every night, all night. So, back to our room she goes. All I ask is that she does the first part of the night in her own space, just like she has done since she was a little, little. Co-sleeping is not the most comfortable thing. I am in the same position for hours, and it hurts in the morning. So, coming in after 2am, is ideal...then I still have some time to myself.

I have hope for Clara. Both Mairead & Lilah had difficulty sleeping from 4-6 months, and they are both good/great sleepers now. They sleep in their own bed. In their own room. No tears. We're all happy. We just had to find what worked for each girl.

I am willing to give Clara time, and help her learn to sleep, even if it means more mommy time. They are only this little for such a short period of time. I need to learn to enjoy the time she wants to be close with me. So, I guess the answer to my question is....No. It isn't worth the fight. Why would I want to pick a fight with a 6 month old. I don't believe she is old enough to manipulate me. She is little, and still dependent on me and her daddy. And that is okay. We will worry about the so-called bad habits later when she is bigger and able to understand a bit more.

Happy 5 Months, Clara!

Sometimes I wish I could slow down time...just a little bit! Time goes so fast when you have an infant. I swear they change everyday. Each day it is something new, and I love it!

Clara is growing up fast! She is so close to rolling over onto her belly from her back. She is laughing all the time, especially at her sisters! I love watching the girls interact together. Her naps are much better. She naps 2 good naps per day, about 2-3 hours each, and then may take 1-2 cat naps in addition. Her nighttime sleeping patterns are decent. Some nights are amazing, and some are...well, not so amazing. Overall, I can't complain with her sleeping, she does pretty well! I love her no matter what she does - they are only little for so long...love you baby girl!

3 Bedrooms.....3 kids.....who shares?

We have 3 bedrooms, and 3 kids. This means two of the girls will need to share a room. Joy. Right now, the crib is in Mairead's room. I feel like she can handle it best better since she is older and has a better understanding of it all where I can see Lilah trying to climb into the crib during nap time or doing something else that she isn't supposed to be doing. During the day, it's easy. Clara naps, and Mairead doesn't. I've been having Mairead rest in our bedroom and it has been working out well. At bedtime, it's a bit more tricky. Mairead takes her time going to sleep, has to tend to her dolls, sing a few songs and do whatever it takes to not fall asleep. Clara on the other hand will nurse to sleep, and then I put her in the crib. I know once I walk away, Mairead starts looking at her, talking, singing, and ultimately wakes Clara up. As soon as Clara makes a peep, we hear about it. "MOM! Clara is awake!"........"MOM! Clara is crying!".......or....."Rock abye baby......go to sleeeeeeep........it's okay"....by now, Clara is definitely awake and NOT going back to sleep. I mean, what do you do? Where does Clara go? She sleeps at night with us in our room, so I am thinking Clara should probably just start the night off in our room and stay there until she is on a more consistent nighttime routine/schedule.

You're probably thinking "why not put Mairead & Lilah together?" - you obviously don't know these two girls. They are so extremely polar opposite when it comes to sleep it isn't funny.

Mairead: not a great sleeper. Like I said above - she loves to play before bed, light on, door open, music on. In the morning, she gets up and comes into our room. Falls back asleep until 8am. Oh, yeah, she doesn't nap, and hasn't done so consistently since before age 2.

Lilah: an awesomely amazing sleeper. Will take 2-3 hour naps daily. Plays before bed, unless she is tired, then she'll pass out. Hard. Likes it dark. Door closed. White noise On Loud. Has tendency to wake up early if she hears noises in the morning, though sometimes will sleep until 9am. If she wakes early, and you leave her alone, she'll usually go back to sleep.

Why mess with success? I'd rather keep the amazing sleeper sleeping, and the mediocre one with the baby, who is able to understand quiet and not to climb into the crib!

What to do...What to do... I guess it is all about trial and error. Wait! Maybe we should buy a house with FOUR bedrooms!

Any thoughts? What do you do? 

Attachment Parenting

“Nothing is more important in the world today than the nurturing that children receive in the first three years of life, for it is in these earliest years that the capacities for trust, empathy, and affection originate.” ~ Elliott Barker, M.D

 

How could you disagree with this statement? For me, I completely agree with the first few years of life being the foundation for a well adjusted child. I know Kevin and I are big believers in what is called Attachment Parenting. 

If you had told me before I had children I would be a big believer in babywearing, nursing, co-sleeping, not letting our children cry it out, etc, I may have said, "yeah, right". My baby will cry it out, she'll never be in our bed and she'll be fine. When we brought Mairead home, she and I would fall asleep in bed together. We all slept better, and to be honest, it just felt right. For 9 months my child had been snuggled up inside of me with every need being met. She never felt hunger, cold, or alone; I was always there to meet every need before she even felt it. All of a sudden, she was born, and she started to feel hunger, cold and without her mommy. I certainly couldn't expect my child to all of a sudden be okay without me, she needed her mommy to be close with her.

I wanted to make sure I was sensitive to my children's cues. When my baby cried, it was for a reason, and I wanted to make sure we responded promptly to those cries. I firmly believe that a baby cries for a reason. I read the first 12 weeks an infant does not know they are now separate from their mother, so when they are put down (especially in a bassinet, etc), they may feel as though something is missing from them. It completely makes sense, and I think after having Clara, this was particularly true for her. She hated to be put down or away from me, and it is only until very recent that she can ride in the car without screaming, now, once she hears my voice, she knows she is okay. 

I never believed I would be an advocate of co-sleeping either. Like I mentioned above, it was after Mairead was born that I started to be a believer in it. Once Kevin and I realized how much better life was with more sleep, and a happy infant, we were sold. This is what people did hundreds of years ago; they slept with their baby. Mairead slept in our bed until recently (just in the morning), Lilah slept in our bed until about 10-12 months old (when she wanted to be in her own bed), and Clara currently sleeps with us. She falls asleep in her bed next to mine, and when she wakes the first time, she comes into our bed and spend the rest of the night there. It just feels right to us, and if it helps our child feel more secure, we are 100% on board with it.

We also love babywearing! We love our fleece and cotton adjustable couch from Kangaroo Korner, and have used it with all three girls. Whenever our girls were fussy and couldn't settle, all we had to do was place them in the pouch, and immediately they would settle down. It was our lifesaver. Not only did it help with a fussy baby, but it also gave you your hands back, which it vital when you have other little ones to take care of, too! When our girls got bigger, we used the Ergo Baby Carrier,  it is awesome. Babywearing felt so natural for me (and Kevin). It was a way our baby could feel safe and secure, and for us, that was important. 

Nursing is a vital part of raising my girls. I had always been a supporter of breastfeeding moms, but now that I am nursing, and have been nursing for almost 4 years consecutively, there is so much more to just feeding your baby. For me, nursing isn't just feeding my baby, it is bonding with them, and allowing them to feel secure. It is the most natural thing, and I feel so lucky to have been able to nurse my babies for so long. Nursing has been and is a very important part of my girls life thus far. Mairead nursed for close to 30 months, and even though she got little nutrition from my milk at that point, she was getting love and learning affection and trust. I love that Mairead has such fond memories of nursing, and now, with two younger sisters who are nursing, she is so supportive and loving. She nurses her babies, and talks about how good it makes them feel. It's an amazing feeling for me to hear her talk like that. 

There have been some tough times where I had felt like I wanted to let my baby cry it out, or not sleep with us, but I took a deep breath, and asked myself what was important. I thought about all the people in our life who were trying to have babies, or who lost babies, and I started to feel lucky. I had beautiful children, and if all they wanted was their mommy or daddy to hold, rock or nurse them, I felt lucky I could give them that, and we did.

I feel as though this style of parenting will give my children the extra boost to be caring, compassionate, connected, and confident children. I want my children to know that me and Kevin are always there for them. I know we cannot take all the credit for who our girls become, but I do know the way our children were raised in the first years of their life will help them become strong, independent individuals.