Still here...but for how long?

Yep! You read that right! I am still pregnant. For the moment!

It's been three days since my cerclage was removed and our little prince is still cooking away inside. I'm happy about that, I know with my whole "due date debate" things may be a bit off, so I hope he stays in as long as he needs to!

Yesterday, I was really crampy with a ton of pressure all day, I checked my cervix later in the day and what do you know.......I am pretty sure I was about 5-6cm. By that time in the day, I did not want to head in, so, I laid low, and thought getting a good night sleep would be the best thing! So, that's what I did. I slept decently, and woke up this morning to about a 4-5cm cervix. I figured that would happen after being off my feet all night - imagine that! I'm just hanging out wondering when I will go back to 5-6cm, that's when I will call.

I'll admit. I'm a little worried about this little guy. I just hope he's big enough and does okay when he is born. I know I felt apprehensive about the girls, too, especially Clara since she was our earliest. We've lucked out with all three girls being perfectly healthy after birth without any interventions, and I just hope that he is just as healthy as the girls are!

So, I stand here (should be sitting) wondering what today will bring.......another day wondering or the day we will meet our little prince!

Stitch Free!

It's official. I am stitch free!

It's a weird feeling and not as a "weird" feeling down there but a weird feeling as in I am about to have another baby. I am about to give birth for a fourth time.....I am about to nurse another newborn. It is just crazy!

So, about the cerclage removal. It isn't the funnest thing, but it isn't the worst thing either. The best thing about it - the discomfort only lasts a few minutes. At 845 this morning, my OB removed my stitch. It took her a few minutes. The baby's head is just so so so low that it's hard to get the speculum underneath the baby's head (the head is actually in front of my cervix if you are at all familiar with female anatomy). There is some pressure, throbbing and cramping, but I just close my eyes and think of how worth it this all was, and then, it is over.

As soon as she removed the stitch, she did a cervical exam. I immediately dilated to 3cm. She said there was a band of scar tissue on my cervix (which is common with cerclages) and she thinks once that band of scar tissue breaks, that it will be very fast! After that, my OB sent me on my merry way and told me to come back in a few hours for another check. We took the girls out for a donut because they behaved so well, we came home and then went to the mall. I had no bleeding this time (I had some spotting/minor bleeding with the others), but definitely a lot of cervical pressure and throbbing.

When I went back at 1245, I was still the same (3cm), so, it could be anytime now. My guess is that it will be another 2 days or so! My OB couldn't believe just how LOW this baby's head is.....I have a feeling this will be another fast labor!

What is your guess!?!

Tomorrow is the big day.

Tomorrow will mark the third time that I have beat cervical incompetence. And I feel so very lucky...

Tomorrow, my cerclage will be removed and as I put it "the flood gates will be allowed to open"

It still hasn't hit me. And I am not sure when it will, but I know, I am so very excited to meet this little prince of ours, and I know his big sisters are even more excited!


So, we'll take a little poll - you can submit your guess by clicking on the comment button below this post:

1. When do you think he will be born?
2. How much will he weigh?


Here is a little background information:

Mairead: 37 weeks & 6lbs4oz (No Cerclage, induced)


Lilah: 36 weeks, 6 days & 6lbs, 0z (Born 6 days post cerclage removal)


Clara: 36 weeks, 2 days & 7lbz, 0z (Born 2 days post cerclage removal)


Tomorrow, I will be 36 weeks exactly.

So, what are your guesses? Will he come the same day as my cerclage is removed or will he take is sweet time and take a while longer?

Looking forward to seeing what everyone guesses!

Ya gotta look good on the table!

It's official, unless of course this kid decides to play any April fool games beforehand, on Monday, I will be getting my cerclage removed at 0830! It is hard to believe the time is fast approaching and by this time next week we could very well be home with our newest member - or at least holding him in our arms!

This last week has been full of preparations for the baby and me! Last weekend I washed his clothes and have been organizing things. I've started thinking about what I will be bringing to the hospital with me and most importantly, been scheduling appointments to make sure this lady is all dolled up for the big day! I've been on the hunt down for some nice, comfy PJs - you won't catch me in those supposed one-size-fits-all hospital gowns - I'm not sick, I've given birth (that's a whole 'nother topic for a whole different day....." (though, I'll admit - I do like those mesh underwear they hand out!) Of course this picky mamma has certain criteria for "I've just given birth PJs" - they have to be dark colored (you know giving birth isn't the cleanest of things for the first day or two), they have to support the girls (you know what I mean...) and they have to be appropriate to wear in a hospital - no slinky gowns or silky pajamas here!

While I may possess a lot of qualities of a crunchy mamma, I also enjoy a good pampering, too! Today, I had an appointment at the hair salon for a cut and color and this weekend I will be heading to get a pedicure.

So before I start talking about primping - I'll have to tell a funny story about one of my hairdressers.

Before I had Clara, I went to the same salon I went to today. The "guy" who cut my hair is gay. He was hilarious and  I enjoy talking to him. When he heard I was due to have Clara within a week or so, he exclaims "Yaaaaaaaa Gotttta look good on THE table!" I will never forget it, and he's right! You gotta look good, or at least feel halfway good! 

I remember when I worked as a labor & delivery nurse and seeing some people with nasty feet - ewwwwwww! There is nothing I hate more than feet, and nasty feet are even worse! YUK! Not only do I want to feel good about myself while everyone is invading my personal space (if you've had a baby, you know what I mean), but I want to feel good afterwards. Having my hair cut and nails done just makes me feel human, and sometimes after having a baby, you don't feel quite so human, so, I do everything I can to help make myself feel normal - you know, as normal as you can after having your 4th child and being a sleep deprived milk machine all while chasing around three small children! God, I must be insane!

So, for the next few days, I will be preparing myself for childbirth and having a newborn again. Of course, there are still a few last minute preparations for the baby, and enjoying the last few days as a "House full of Fairies".....before our prince arrives and rocks our household!

The Baby Getter-Outer

I've spoken before how our oldest, Mairead is very interested in the body, especially when it comes to pregnancy and babies. She's a girl after my own heart!

The other day, I asked the girls what they wanted to be when they grew up. Mairead's response:

"A doctor"

Me: "What kind of doctor?"

Mairead: "A baby-getter-outer type doctor"

I chuckled! How could you not?

(She even told my OB this the other day, and told her that she wanted to learn about getting babies out)

She then went on to talk about birth and how she wanted to see her baby brother be born. It isn't the first time she's asked about this. It's a tough call, and not a tough call because she couldn't handle it, but a tough call because it is going to take an extra person to be with just Mairead during the delivery.

She has watched her birth videos countless times in awe and asks amazingly appropriate questions afterwards. She loves 'A baby story' on TLC and knows having a baby hurts and some mommies cry, scream and yell. We've talked a great deal about childbirth, so I am certain she would most likely do just fine. I know how I have dealt with childbirth in the past, and know if she were to come in the room during the last few minutes, she would probably be awe struck and be okay.

I've been spending the last few days trying to plan out how it will work out - who will watch the girls, will there be someone extra around so Mairead and my mother can be present, too. It's a lot of planning, but I am confident if the situation goes as "smoothly" as it has with the previous three, we should be able to pull it off with the help and support of our family and friends. Not only have I needed to plan for someone to help, but I have had to start preparing Mairead for the birth if she were to make it. A friend of mine sent me this link, and it provided a lot of great resources. Some days I wish I could have a home birth...

It is a decision that will most likely come at the last minute depending on how the situation presents itself. Chances are it won't work out, and if it does, I hope it bodes to be an unforgettable memory for her watching her baby brother come into this world.

I just have to add another question from Mairead today:

"When babies come out, do they just rip a hole in your pants?" :)

It's going to happen. Again.

Wow. This is all becoming too real for me. You know, the whole giving birth part. I can't believe I am going to have to push another baby out of me in just a few short weeks. I think about my experiences with the girls and they have all been really, really great, but you know, pushing a baby out of there is never a whole lot of fun no matter how quick and easy it may seem. Especially when you don't use drugs. Yeah, why do I do that again??? and again? and again? 

With all three girls I have elected to have them naturally. No medications. No epidural. Nada. I am planning on doing it again. My head keeps flashing back to one particular photograph my sister in law took during Clara's birth. My face looks like I am in hell. I really don't want to go back there again! I guess that is why they call it 'the ring of fire'!

I have not gone into labor on my own - they have never allowed me to get that far. I tend to dilate pretty much painlessly, and each time I've gone in to get checked, I've been 5-6cm, so of course, they don't let me go home, they break my water, and voila! An hour or two later, I have a baby. It's been a pretty good gig, and I assume it will happen similarly with this kid. My labor is pretty easy once they break my water, but pushing........oh god, I hate pushing. I think it was especially worse with Clara because she was our biggest baby at 7lbs (at 36w2d!!!), a pound MORE exactly than Lilah (6lbs), our second born...she hurt me. But, once they are born, I feel amazing. And since I pushed for only 10 minutes with Clara, I guess I shouldn't be able to complain...too much. Giving birth is invigorating, no really, it is!


It's funny because people say that you tend to forget all about the pains of childbirth after your first child, and that is what makes you want to do it again....I'd say that rings true for your second - you are just so in to having your baby....your first baby, and you don't know what to expect for yourself. But what about your third? your fourth? No way. There is no amnesia goin' on in my mind right now. I remember pleading with my OB during Clara's delivery to "just cut me" and get her out. I remember feeling like she was never going to come out. It seemed like an eternity even though it was only 10 minutes. Ha!

Even thinking about having our fourth child I still wonder if this labor and delivery will be like the first three. I pray it is. It couldn't go any better as far as childbirth is concerned. I love the fact that my body knows what to do, and as long as I listen to my body, let it do its job, then everything will go just as it should. Making sure I stay in control mentally is the most important part in childbirth, at least for me. Thankfully, when I asked Kevin what I have been like during childbirth, he says I am not a screamer and that I am focused and possessed. Ah, that sounds about right...

I think about meeting our newest little sweetheart and it makes it all worth it in the end...that's why I keep doing it, right? :)

Tomorrow, I have an ultrasound, which will most likely be my last. My cerclage removal is set for April 4th if all continues to go as planned.....less than two weeks ago. Absolutely Insane.

Shingles? & More Due Date SAGA! Cerclage removal.........

Ahhhhhh....mornings like these make my head spin! Fast.

I had a regularly scheduled OB appointment with my favorite OB. She's awesome. My age and actually knew a lady I used to work with. Any-who, I was glad to see her because I wanted to talk to her about delivering me.

Well, last week I tested positive for strep throat - It's been a rough month for sickness for me. I am not a sick person.....never sick, but with colds, strep and a stomach bug, I'm over it. On Sunday, I developed (you may want to stop reading here if you're squeamish) a rash on my.....arss. A small one, but it packed a decent amount of punch. A burny (is that a word???) itchy sensation. I figured I'd see my doc on Wednesday and as long as it didn't get worse, I'd just deal with it. On Monday, it was better. Then last night, I felt another (smaller) spot on my......ummmmm....ass. On my butt cheek. Same look. Same feel. So today, I had my OB look at it. She did some viral/bacterial cultures on it and thought it could be bacterial and prescribed meds. She told me to try and get in with my regular doc today to take a closer look at it just to be sure.

She checked my cervix and I am still 1cm/50%. Her comment "OH MY. His head is right there!!!" - Yeah, I know. Believe me. She talked about the potential of doing some steriods for the baby's lungs, but, for now, we will hang tight since there aren't any changes. I asked her if she could "special" me, meaning, have her deliver me. At first, she was apprehensive because she has a small infant, but once we talked about my "history", she said she'd schedule the cerclage herself and plan it that way....Awesome. Looks like she'll probably deliver him!

Overall, a decent appointment.

Then, as if one appointment wasn't enough, I made my way to my regular doctors office to have my arss looked at. Thankfully, they took me right in and Kevin met me there, too, to help with the girls. He took one look at it and said it looked viral to him, more like shingles! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, he did more cultures, consulted with OB and said not to take antibiotics, but to take an anti-viral. I just can't help but think this isn't shingles.....I asked the doc why I wasn't in pain and he said it was probably a mild case. Great. This is just great. I just hope the cultures come back as nothing.....or not shingles or anything like that!

As if that wasn't enough drama for my little morning, I get a call from my OB asking me what was going on about my due date. I laughed at her. She was the only doc I hadn't pleaded my case to. You can read about my Due Date Debate or other posts. She was like "but he is measuring according to your dates consistently from 9 weeks!" - and I laughed and said "Yes, but no one has listened to me, and I gave up." - She said she looked through every single ultrasound report and said that my baby was NOT 12 days behind my LMP, and was going to go by my LMP/Ultrasound dates.........So what the heck does that mean??????????

She is scheduling my cerclage for APRIL 4th!!!!!!! Not April 11th!!!!! ONE WEEK EARLY. She is changing my due date, which means, I am 33w1 DAY........NOT 32w1D by me........and NOT 31w4d by the other docs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew. I'm exhausted just writing about it. So, all before 130pm, this has been my day.

Under Pressure

My cervix that is...

The last week I swear the baby has piled on weight and really dug himself far, far down into my pelvis (I swear, he's right there just waiting...). Those two things have really started making things uncomfortable at times, along with the increased cramping.

Tomorrow, I am 32 weeks pregnant and I honestly do not remember the pressure being this uncomfortable so often throughout the day at this point - maybe it was, and maybe all my pregnancies are just running together, but one thing is for certain - it definitely makes me a little worried about how much more uncomfortable things can/will get.

I am sure the pressure and cramping with a 4th pregnancy is probably pretty normal at this stage, but throw in a cerclage and it just makes it worse. The tension placed on my cervix is just uncomfortable - throbbing, like my cervix wants to open on up. Add on a 23lb toddler who needs to be carried, lifted out of cars, carts, etc, and it just doesn't help - thankfully, she's in a toddler bed, so I don't have to lift her in and out of cribs.

So, for now, I'll just try and be good, and think that no bleeding means I am not dilating any more than I am now.  Next OB appointment is Wednesday...we'll see!

31 week bumpity bump - have you seen my mind?

Sometimes, being pregnant is almost like losing your mind and the more kids you have, the more mind loss there is - at least that is how it has felt lately!

It's hard to believe I will be 31 weeks tomorrow. Seriously? How did that happen? This feels like the first baby that I am not prepared for and how it might be better for him to just stay in for......well, a long time. In about five weeks, I will be getting my cervical cerclage removed (maybe I should keep it in?), and for Clara, it only took her two days for her to show her pretty little face. So, in essence, this little prince could be here in as little as 5 weeks.....5 weeks! That's like ONE month. That is NOT a lot of time people.

Last Thursday, I had an OB appointment with the doc who delivered Clara. She rocks! She is so laid back and nice - and unfortunately, she doesn't do deliveries anymore. What a bummer! She rechecked my cervix and thankfully I am still the same (1cm/50%) and other than that, everything was fine. A typically boring OB appointment - I guess boring is good!

As I become more and more pregnant, while chasing around three crazy kids, I find myself doing crazy things. For example...today, we had a big dinner at my parents house to celebrate my dads birthday. For dinner, we let the kids choose, Mairead chose PB&Fluff and the other two had chicken nuggets with mac/cheese.

Well, here's Mairead, fooling around, getting out of her seat. I tell her to get back in her seat. Eat your dinner. Then, she's screwing off again! So, I raise my voice, and say SIT DOWN! And EAT YOUR DINNER!

Then, I look down on the counter, and there sits her dinner. I forgot to give her the plate. Yeah. She had every reason to be fooling around!

I had the intention of writing some other "losing your mind" stories, but.........I forgot. HA!

Oh, and here I am today at just about 31 weeks pregnant....I guess it's about time I post a baby bump shot!

I'll have to post a comparison of all four pregnancies at this stage to see if there are any differences. I feel as though I am carrying the same as with the others.

PS - I just spoke with my husband and he said he read this blog post, and said I typed we had dinner at my parents.......No. We didn't. We had lunch. :) See...I'm definitely not all there!

Helllloooooooooo, Baby!

Little prince sucking on arm

This afternoon, I had an ultrasound to check on our little prince. Now that my regular cervical length checks are through (just checked through manual exams), they are now on to monitoring my fluid levels since I have a history of oligohydramnios with two of our girls.

Once again, we had an awesome ultrasound tech! The baby looked awesome, and growing perfectly, with an estimated weight of 3lbs7oz at 29w2d according to me (30w2d according to them) which is the 50%! My fluid levels were normal with an AFI (amniotic fluid index) of 12. Normal levels are between 5-20, so a pretty wide range.

Little foot by face - you can see his arm holding his foot in place :)

And just his sweet little face...

Our little prince was anything but shy. Thankfully he is head down and was having a snack on his hands, feet, legs and arms - well anything he could get into his little mouth, really. I have a feeling he is going to be just like his big sister, Lilah - a big eater! When we had our frequent ultrasounds with Lilah, he always had her hands and feet in her mouth. When she was born all she wanted to do was nurse, nurse, nurse! She used to gorge herself, and then would projectile vomit all over the place :) - such great memories!


Oh, and PS........we just got word we aren't staying here in Portland, someone else got assigned to Kevin's job. We're still waiting to hear where we will be going. Looks like Boston or DC. Let's pray for Boston.....something is telling me we're going to DC.

Doctor, Doctor

Today was a day filled with lovely doctor appointments. Lilah and Clara had their 3 year/15 month well child check - poor Mairead was sad it wasn't her turn for a check up, she loves going to the doctor.

Lilah was a wonderful patient, got two shots and barely shed a tear. At just over three years, she weighs a whopping 27lbs and is 35'' tall! She's my petite and perfectly portioned little girl at 25% for both height and weight. The pedi was impressed with her skiing ability! I chuckled as I answered the questions about whether or not she can "jump" (HA!) and whether she can dress herself, among other "silly for Lilah" questions.

Clara was all over the place! She got one shot and cried for a second. She is surely our "bruiser" weighing in at 23lbs and 31'' tall, about 50% and 75% each - Kevin and I often wonder where she came from as both Mairead & Lilah were barely 20lbs by 18 months old. I keep wondering if she will catch Lilah with her weight - I am thinking it may be very possible! She also impressed the pedi with her climbing and running skills. The pedi listened to her chest and said she definitely sounded congested, with some slight wheezing noted, but nothing worrying to her, and said she looked great otherwise! She said there has been a ton chest colds going around, some taking several weeks to clear up. She said I shouldn't be surprised if she still sounds congested for up to another week, and as long as she doesn't develop another fever, she'll be fine.

After spending most of the morning in the pediatricians office, we came home and ate lunch, then it was time for me to go to my 28 week OB appointment. Seriously.....what a waste those appointments can be. I swear if I didn't have to have my blood drawn, I'd wonder why I needed to go! I also saw the OB I am least thrilled about. I just am not into her - she's the only OB in that practice that I pray does not deliver me. I joke to Kevin about keeping my legs crossed when it is time to have the kid so I don't have to have her deliver this baby. Anyways, she checked my cervix and it was the same, so that's great news....still 1cm/50%. I also had my blood tests for checking my iron, and my A1C/random glucose since I asked for an alternative to the glucola testing. Other than that, it was an uneventful appointment....Next week I have an ultrasound.

1cm/50%

Just to be on the safe side of the fence, I gave my OB a call this morning. I told them I had been throwing up on Wednesday, and had had some significant cramping, which subsided (but not totally gone) as the day went on yesterday. When I awoke this morning, the cramping was almost gone (though not completely - is it ever with me?), but I still had some pressure down there...so, they said they wanted to check my cervix, which was fine considering it has been 2 weeks since I've had an ultrasound and I wanted some reassurance.

Well, I am back, and I was able to see one of my favorite OBs in the office. She's just great...anyways, she checked my cervix and I was 1cm/50% - Yes, at 27 weeks....but, I am not really that concerned and either was she. I was 1cm fairly early on (by 30w) with Clara, and stayed there until my cerclage was removed at 36 weeks with Clara. Now, you may be asking yourself "I thought you cannot dilate with a cerclage???" Well, the answer is, you can - to a point. The cerclage isn't pulled so tight that the body cannot dilate, because even with certain movement and activity, there has to be some (and just a little) give in the cervix, so, some women are able to dilate a tiny bit, and probably not much more than 1cm. I would think if my body tries to dilate more than it is now, I will notice spotting and/or bleeding with heavy cramping and pressure.

All I have to say is that I am so glad I have a cerclage. These are the times when I ask myself where would I be if I didn't have one? Would I be more than 1cm? What would be the scenario? Bed rest? Premature delivery? Good or bad outcome?

The OB did place me on the monitors just to make sure I wasn't having any more cramping/contractions than I usually have, and sure enough after about 30 minutes on the monitor, she let me go. I did have a few, but nothing that was concerning to her or unusual for me. Phew! The baby sure was active though!

I go back in a week for a recheck. Since I was seeing my favorite OB, I brought up the gestational diabetes test again. I asked if I would be an "Irresponsible patient" if I declined the test. She laughed, and said no, and asked me a few questions about my history with the girls. She said I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to (after looking through chart), and I could just do a simple blood test for A1C, which is a test to indicate blood sugar control over long term in the body......I didn't decline that, why would I? I was just glad someone finally offered me a reasonable alternative rather than "suck it up" to the nasty test.

So for now, I'm hanging in there, and just trying to rehydrate myself!

Not so lucky

The past two days I haven't felt like myself.

Super tired.

Bitchy, really.

Of course, I blame it on being pregnant, but I rarely feel crappy and so bitchy while I am pregnant.

Then yesterday, I woke up, and I felt like I could sleep for days. and days. I had waves of nausea, but I blamed it on over-tiredness. Wondering if all this skiing and running around is just too much?

The girls gave me the run around yesterday. Mairead was up to her no-listening-fit-throwing antics. It was so bad, I put her in her room and took a nap with Lilah.

I woke up, and was starving. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so I made myself a PB&Fluff sandwich. I still felt nauseated. I couldn't wait for the day to be over.

Then, my savior walked through the door.......ahh, daddy's home. By then, I felt really, really crappy. I plopped my rear on the couch to lay down, and then, I started to feel worse. Then, Kevin yells........I remember that tone.

"Lilah threw up!" 


OH NO. Please, not again...please. I grabbed her and we took a hot shower together. She seemed fine after that. Threw up just a little after, but was fine after that. And, thankfully, is great this morning!

Me on the other hand, started to feel like I was going to throw up. And sure enough, I did. Throwing up while pregnant is horrific, and add a cerclage with a history of preterm labor, I am one nervous mamma.

Then, as Mairead was eating dinner, she threw up. In her bowl. Nice one, Mairead! Three down....that didn't take long!

The girls perked up nicely, and didn't seem at all phased by throwing up like they did back in December. Me on the other hand....no way. I felt like I was struck by a freight train. I was cramping and just feeling really crappy. I hoped the cramps would just go away.

Thankfully, we all just threw up once, but I had cramping and pressure down below all night. I knew it was because I was dehydrated. I tried to sip on water each time I woke up overnight.

Here we are, 930, and Mairead was great, and well enough to head to school, Lilah is fine, too....Clara has some funky poops going on, but no signs of the pukies from her or Kevin. I am still cramping, but it has lessened a bit. I have been able to eat, and drink some tea, and I think just relaxing for the day on the couch is probably the best choice. I may call my OB if they don't go away...

Ugh. Thankfully this was short-lived, I don't think I could have handled another December repeat, especially since I wasn't spared this time!

You must be relieved.

I've been hearing this comment a lot lately, and to be honest, it annoys me.

You must be relieved. 

When trekking through a store or restaurant or public place with our three little ladies, and people notice I am pregnant, complete strangers have no problem saying things like...

Is it a boy??? 

I hope it's a boy??? 

Oh! Wow! Three girls!?! Hope the next one is a boy!" 

I'll respond politely, which, I'll be honest, it's getting harder and harder to be polite the more pregnant I get, and say "Yes, it's a boy" or something like that.

It's funny because people, even those I know, think that I/we are relieved to be having a boy...like the only reason why we had another baby was to have a boy. 

The truth is, I am not relieved it is a boy. I am relieved he is healthy. 

To be perfectly honest, at this point, a girl would have been just as welcomed, and actually easier. Nothing to buy. Nada...just a little bit of a clothes shuffle, and bam! all ready for the new babe...not with a boy though, at least not for me. I can't/won't wrap him or dress him in pink! But that's just me... I wouldn't say I am disappointed he is a boy...but sometimes I feel like I am. All I have to do is remind myself about what matters - that he is born healthy and here with us. Then, I feel better.

I find myself wondering where to start. He needs clothes and he needs a few things - particularly a name! 

Boys names are just tough, and I find there are a ton of names out there, but they are either very traditional, like John or James or way out there like Jett or something a little too radical for us. We have three girls with names that are in the middle of the road, maybe a bit on the different side, and I need a boys name like that, too...any ideas for us? Please help!!! 

Boy clothes are tough, too. After having three girls, it's tough to switch to boy clothes. I find myself loving the boy toddler clothes so much more than the boy infant clothes. 

I find myself at the 10 week point until I get my stitch removed, and think I am so not ready to have this baby! I am still a bit in denial about the fact that he in fact is a boy. I think I will probably be in this so-called-denial until I hold his little body in my arms. 

For those of you who have had several children of one sex and went on to have a baby of another, how did you manage? Was it difficult? Did people make comments to you (I know people feel the need to make comments about anything, and if we were having another girl, we'd get comments about that, too...)? How did you prepare yourself? 

Noses & The Cervix

Wondering what this post is about? Well, I didn't want to write two different blog posts, but, I have two completely different things to write about today!

Little prince legs...

Today, I had my regular cervical length ultrasound. I am now 25w2d and for the last 4-5 weeks the little prince has been in a breech position. I guess you could say that over the last few days I had become a bit OCD about this issue. All I could think about is "what if he doesn't turn?" and "how could I have a c/s with my 4th kid after three fast, easy deliveries" - so, I started to become a little proactive damn well knowing that the kid could still be doing acrobatics inside since he is still little...but, that didn't matter too much. The other day, I started doing some knee-chest positioning and back stretching (my back had been bothering me, so I figured I could maybe kill two birds with one stone?)....well, what do you know, later that night, the movements felt different, so I got my trusty doppler out, and the heart beat was nice and low in my tummy as opposed to up near my belly button....

A little prince hand up by his ear (hiding his face)

Well, my suspicions were confirmed! Baby is vertex! Or head down! and I mean HEAD DOWN......he was socked so far down there the ultrasound tech couldn't even get a sneak peek of his cute little face this week....but do you know what? I didn't care! All I cared about was that his little face was kissing my cervix :) - well, we had another ultrasound tech we had had several times before (she remembered us by having a boy who was "rather aggressive with his penis"), and she is great, too - we got to watch the little prince in 4d play with his cute little legs, and squirm all around - of course, one arm was up by his face, and the other.....well, take a guess! :)

...and a little prince hand

My cervical length was a bit shorter than it had been 1.8cm-2.2cm, not unusual for me at this stage of pregnancy, and to be honest, I am surprised it had been longer than this most recently, my cervix is usually this around 18-19 weeks. I really think his head being down there plays a huge role in my cervical length. My fluid was good and everything looked great. The high risk doctor in the u/s office said I don't need to come back for another four weeks, but, honestly, I don't feel really comfortable with that, so I will call my OB and discuss. I like knowing all the pressure and cramping I feel is normal and not because something not-so-good is happening.



..............And about the nose!

So if you read my blog yesterday about loving nap time, you will know how hectic our day was, and I was enjoying my peace and quiet, until.........

Clara started crying. That was my cue nap time was over. I procrastinated a bit and headed upstairs. I picked Clara up and headed into our bedroom where the big girls were watching a movie. I laid with the girls for a bit until the movie ended. I noticed Lilah had taken her hair out. I asked Lilah where her hair elastic was, and her response:

"Up my nose"


"WHAT!?!" I said. And she repeated.

I went and grabbed a bulb syringe and tried to suck it out, but didn't see anything up there. I asked her again, and she repeated that it was in her nose. Not sure why, but I doubted her. Never doubt a three year old when they tell you something like this.

I got up, and looked under the covers, and around the bed.

She says..."You're not going to find it. It's up my nose" And she said it as seriously as a 3 year old could.

How could you not believe a statement like that?

So, I tried to teach her to blow out of her nose. As she did that, I dialed Kevin at work to tell him we may be taking a trip to the docs....and then I hear

"I GOT IT! I got the elastic" 


Disaster averted.

Until round two.

Elastic #2

This evening as we were cooking dinner, Lilah comes up to me and says something about her nose. I was cooking and wasn't really paying attention, until, she starts to cry and says that an elastic was up her nose again. 


I grabbed the bulb syringe and no such luck. No elastic.

Then, I tried to get her to blow out of her nose again. And well, there came this big, red hair elastic...I'd say about 3x the size of the one she stuck up there yesterday.

Seriously, kid!?! What is my life going to be like when this little prince growing inside of me gets big and crazy like his sisters!?!

Help!

...And that accomplished what?

Have you ever left the OB office asking yourself "what just happened?"

It doesn't happen every time for me, but today it did. 

My morning went something like this.......wake up at 8am, shower, get all three girls dressed, hair done x 3, make-up done, teeth brushed x 4 and then, downstairs for breakfast, and ready to take Mairead to school by 9am - ah, is it bedtime yet? It's generally hectic when Mairead has preschool, and it is even more hectic when Mairead had preschool and I have an OB appointment at 1015 to get to. 

After I dropped Mairead off, I came back home, gathered my things, and headed off to the OB for my regular appointment. 

I get there and informed the hospital requires patients to REDO all paperwork, including a health history for the new year. Seriously? Yeah, they weren't kidding. Three sheets, front and back. 

So, I am trying to contain my almost 16 month old from ripping all the magazines up, and my three year old from jumping all over their furniture in the waiting area, all while trying to fill out this paperwork that I JUST filled out in October! Here I am answering insane questions like "How regular are my periods?" "Do I think I am pregnant" and "When was your last period?" ........OH MY....talk about killing trees. This was Not an easy task, and makes for one frazzled mamma! Why do I need to be here again?

Oh, and they expect me to pee in a cup on top of the above? Um......sorry, not this week! 

Then, my name gets called and am amazed I actually completed the paperwork.

The nurse weighs me.....gaining weight in epic proportions. I have now reached the weight I was before I started losing all of my weight last spring: 130lbs. I've gained about 15lbs thus far, which is pretty much right on target for my typical pregnancy weight gain.

She brings me and the girls into the exam room. 

Checks my blood pressure, which is on the higher (but normal) side for me......and she says "good, bp!" I laugh and say "Mine is usually half that" - gee, who would have thought after all I've done this morning that my BP would be on the higher end for me??? 

Asks if I have swelling. Thankfully, NO. but maybe in the brain?

Baby moving? Yup....more like partying.

Then we wait.....the girls are demanding their snack and running all around the exam room. 

Here comes the doc. A little bit of small talk. Listens to the baby, great HB....measures my belly, measuring normal and according to MY dates......looks over last weeks ultrasound report, says my cervical length is stable, asks if I have any concerns, I say nope. And she says "See you in 4 weeks?" and I say "Sounds good to me"

And I leave the office wondering why I couldn't have just done that myself and reported back to them! I have a doppler, and I can get a BP cuff....oh, and measuring tape I have, too. 

Believe me, I totally get the importance of prenatal screening, but somedays I leave wondering what just happened....It takes me longer to get there, drive home and wait in their office than it does for the entire nurse/doctor exam. With my last two pregnancies, I was being seen every two weeks, and thankfully, this time, things are stable, so they are just treating me like a somewhat-normal-pregnant-lady...seems kind of weird! 

Oh! Did I mention that I had the audacity to actually ask the OB if I could skip the glucola drink this time??? :)

24 Weeks

Today I reached a huge milestone.

24 weeks

For most pregnant people, the 24 week mark comes and goes without the bash of an eyelash. 

For those with an incompetent cervix or other high risk issues during pregnancy, 24 weeks marks a fairly major milestone. 

Survival. 

While, I would never want our baby to be born at 24 weeks, I know if he were born now, there would be a chance he would live. While I was pregnant with Lilah and had our emergent cerclage at close to 21 weeks, I counted down each and every day until I reached 24 weeks. With Clara and this babe, I have been fairly confident I would reach this milestone easily, but, of course, no one knows the outcome of anything, even those who have normal pregnancies. 

I would have to say this is the first pregnancy, besides our first, that I have felt more like a normal pregnant person. Things have been going well. I haven't felt quite as stressed as I have with previous pregnancies, and I have to say it is a good feeling.

I remember back with  my pregnancy with Lilah, while I was on bed rest, a walk outside with Mairead was considered huge, or a "gamble", then, with Clara, and no bed rest, I was nervous about caring for two children during the summer. I chased them around at the beach, and enjoyed a less stressful pregnancy. During her pregnancy, I never would have agreed to ski, or to go away for a weekend, I was just too concerned with the "what if's" - now, with baby #4, I am more confident, and I just hope it doesn't come to bite me in the ass, if you know what I mean. I have definitely gambled with more activity, like skiing, and I have to say, it has done wonders for my frame of mind, especially during the cold winter months with young children. With the others, I was always reluctant to plan anything more than a few weeks ahead because I was afraid of something happening. I feels good to feel a little more normal. 

I can only hope the remainder of the pregnancy continues to go well.

Next milestone... 28 weeks. 

The Little Prince's Debut

Today I had my regular ultrasound and cervical check at MFM. These ultrasounds always make me a little nervous because I just never know what to expect - I mean, things could be good or they could be bad, and you just don't know. 

The little prince has been super duper active lately. He's getting big and I can really feel him all day long, I love it. The last ultrasound we had we left without any photographs or any visuals of his face. He was breech and had his face planted in my placenta. Not the best place to be for a photo op. Today, at 23w1d, I made sure I drank a ton and ate a handful of sour patch kids before my ultrasound - that definitely woke him up and he was definitely in a cooperative mood today! 

23 weeks Profile (you can see his little hand, too)

Our ultrasound tech today rocked. She was so sweet and even though we were her last patient, she didn't rush us and actually took her time - I guess it helped that our little prince wanted everyone to see how stinkin' cute he was. He was sucking his thumb, hand, and just showing off. When the ultrasound tech started using her other transducer, I knew we were going to luck out and see his face today.

And there it was. 

The sweetest little face. The cutest button nose. Our little prince. 

Mairead recognized him right away and said "there's his face, mamma!"

Does it get any sweeter than that???

We watched him smile, grimace, open his little mouth, stick out his tongue as he took a drink. I didn't want it to end. I could have just sat there all day watching him. I have to say, seeing his face, made it real, well more real :) - I still can't believe HE is a BOY. 

Sticking his tongue out and having a little drink...he's gonna love the milky!

He looked healthy, measuring according to MY date, and weighing in at 1lb5oz. Just perfect. And breech, still.

My cervix looked perfect, too! Staying stable is what I like to see. When the tech told me everything looked great, I looked at her and said "well, I am glad skiing didn't do anything" :)

So, here I am at 23 weeks pregnant and things are stable. Such a huge sigh of relief. I am almost to 24 weeks and then I will start to feel just a little bit comfortable with the way things are going. Then, it's 28 weeks, then it's 32 weeks, and well, you get the drift. Get this baby as close to term or to term as possible. 

I am Pregnant. Not crazy. Ok. Maybe a little...

I am not the type of person who likes to sit around and do nothing. While I was pregnant with Lilah (our second), I was on bed rest for 15 weeks. You can probably imagine just how torturous that was for me. As I entered the safer part of my pregnancy (30+) weeks, I allowed myself to do more activity, and was told I could do so as long as I 'listened to my body'. Kevin would come home and the whole house would be clean - any excuse to get off of the couch. I know, I was a bad girl...but after 10 weeks of laying there most of the day, I had to do something!

With Clara, I avoided bed rest, and chased our two girls at the beach all summer long. I had some minor bouts with preterm labor and cervical shortening, but other than that, my pregnancy went so much better (and more normal) than it was with Lilah! I was so thankful to have been able to care for our girls with minimal restrictions.

Now, I am pregnant with baby #4, have had a "more normal for me" pregnancy since my nightmare of a pregnancy, and I feel like this one is going well. Before I got pregnant, I had lost almost 20 pounds and exercised very frequently. Because of my high risk status, I've been unable to do any strenuous activity and have not exercised since. Now that winter is here, it's tough to not be active (I feel so lazy), so when I had the opportunity to go skiing earlier in the week, I thought long and hard about it and decided to ski. I know a lot of people probably think I am insane and how could I even take the risk. I didn't make the decision to ski until I knew the conditions and saw how many people were not skiing. In two days of skiing, we did not wait in one lift line, one of the perks of mid-week skiing. I felt great, no cramping, no pressure, and felt as though, I could at least try...if I started cramping or felt a lot of pressure in my cervical area, I would just stop and enjoy hot chocolate at the lodge.

The truth is, when you have three children who are 4.5 and under to take care of, there really isn't such thing as resting, and really, skiing was much easier on my body - ha ha ha! From the second we wake up in the morning, it is go-go-go, from breakfast, to butt wiping, to boo-boo kissing, to taxi-ing to and from school and activities, to anything and everything thrown to me that day - it is busy. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into though. I will have to say the girls are very, very good about resting/napping all at the same time for about 1.5-2 hours each and every day, and almost always, I use this time to rest. When Kevin comes home from work, I try to rest as much as possible for the rest of the evening. Of course, there are days where I have a lot of cramping and/or a lot of pressure down there and I am just uncomfortable, and these are the days where I listen to my body and rest as much as possible. I know when I over do it, and I really try not to. I guess that is why I loved skiing so much - it really isn't a "strenuous activity" - it was relaxing, and I didn't have any cramping at all during the two days. We did take frequent rests, and I was sure to drink lots and lots of fluid, and thankfully, my body didn't think it was too much to handle....

I think if I were a normal pregnant lady that didn't have her cervix sewn shut and have bouts of preterm labor and other high risk issues, I would probably be one of those pregnant ladies - you know, the one on the ski slope, or running during pregnancy, or doing something that most pregnant women are scared to do. I indulge in an occasional glass of wine, [and I've been told that it's okay]....and actually, it will help relax the uterus. Oh yeah....a relaxed pregnant mamma, is a happy, pregnant mamma, so indulge I do. And I think about what our mothers did while they were pregnant with us - my-oh-my! :)

There are days where I wish I was that normal pregnant lady that could just go about her business without worrying about her cervix shortening, being put on bed rest, spending a day at the hospital because I am having contractions, that didn't have doctors appointments almost weekly....wishing I could just exercise, run around the block with my kids, stay active, travel and just do those regular things, but when it comes down to it all, I am thankful that I am able to carry a baby, I am able to get pregnant, I am able to care for our girls while pregnant - So even with all of my worries with pregnancy, no one can ever tell me that it isn't worth it, because it is. Every. Single. Part of being pregnant is worth it. I will do whatever it takes to ensure carrying a healthy baby inside of me. I try to enjoy being pregnant and push all the high risk things aside, because being happy and unstressed is the healthiest way to be for the little baby growing inside of me...

Just say NO to funneling!

No! Not beer funneling...!

Cervical funneling

If you look at the two "+" on the ultrasound, you will see the example of funneling. Note this is NOT my ultrasound. 

Today, I had a cervical check at MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) to check my cervical length. I am 21w3days and my cervical length was 2.2cm, so, the same. The only changes were some funneling at the top of my cervix (the top almost looks like a "V") and you could definitely see that my cervix was opening, definitely not closed up tight like it had been previously. The high risk doc didn't come in, so that means it isn't too concerning, but when I see funneling with an opening cervix, I can't help but be a little nervous. The baby was breech, and I think that's probably the best position for him right now, keeps his head and majority of weight off of my cervix (he had been vertex or head down for a while). His face was buried into my placenta, and wouldn't show himself, so, no ultrasound photos today.....bummer! The girls were bummed! They love leaving with their own photo of their little brother, but, not today... 

To read more on cervical funneling, read more on the Funneling of the internal cervical OS or more about Using Ultrasound to Predict Spontaneous Preterm Birth. 

I can't help but think of the "what if" - what if I didn't have a cerclage? Would I make it to 37 weeks like I did with Mairead, our first born? or, would we have had Lilah and Clara much more prematurely? For me, the statistics for preterm labor with early cervical changes are convincing enough. I know for me being dilated 1cm with Clara by 30 weeks is evidence enough for me that a cerclage is probably the the better option. Each person is different and the sucky thing is, no one knows...weighing the risks vs. benefits is the only way to come up with a decision you can live with.

While I am confident we will be able to carry this baby as long as his sisters, the what ifs still affect me day to day, especially when I have one of those days where my cervix is just throbbing...