What a week can do...

Just before they extubated him on Thursday

I think back to what I was doing at this time last Saturday and I am just blown away. Our sweet little Callum was in critical condition and the doctors were doing everything they could to save our little boy. My eyes were swollen from crying. I had been up for 42 hours. We were a mess. We were in disbelief watching our sweet boy go through so much. But now, I sit here with Callum in the very same room and things are so different. He has come a long way. A very long way and I can't express how thankful Kevin and I are to have the people we do in our life who have all come together to help Callum, our girls, our family.

Breathing tube OUT! 

So much has changed since Wednesday when I blogged last. I've wanted to update but, honestly, things have been busy, and now my "free" time isn't spent staring at my little boy hooked up to a ventilator, it is spent holding. loving. kissing. nursing my sweet little boy. Looking at him in awe of just how far he has come in just one week.

Holding Callum for the first time since birth

Daddy lovin' on his little boy

Sweet little Callum

On Thursday they were able to extubate (remove breathing tube) and he did wonderfully. They put some low flow oxygen on via a nasal cannula just to make sure he kept his sats up. The nurse removed his arterial line in his belly button, and then I left. When Kevin and I returned later that evening, there was our sweet boy breathing all on his own, looking absolutely beautiful. The first thing I asked was to hold him. I got my wish. I was in heaven. When the nurse told me I could put him to breast I couldn't believe it - really? I asked...I thought it would be a few days until I would be able to do that. I didn't waste any time and put him right to my breast. He sucked away, but I didn't let him get too carried away. It was one of the most special moments ever. Kevin and I just stared at him in amazement. He was perfect. Kevin got his turn to hold his sweet boy. The moment we had both been longing for since the day he was born. It was so hard to put him back in his warmer and leave for the night. I just wanted hold him so tight and not let him go. Ever.

Yesterday morning I rushed back like a little child excited for Christmas. There he was on no oxygen looking perfectly. I was able to nurse him. I nursed him four times yesterday and each time he did better and better. The docs and nurses are in absolute amazement with Callum. The doctor said that his progress has been amazing and has recovered faster than any child with Pulmonary Hypertension he has seen. He said he is amazing, and I would have to agree. Every time a nurse hears Callums story, they are in disbelief. He is a fighter.

So, here I am, one week here in the NICU and it has been a week of tears. joy. guilt. relief. a little laughter. pain. and growth. Kevin and I have grown as a couple and our little (okay, big) family has learned there are a whole lot of people who love us and will drop anything to do whatever we needed. Honestly, we can't thank them enough. They have made our week more bearable knowing our sweet girls were cared for, and us thought of from near and afar. While we may not have called you back, your notes, voicemails, etc have not gone unnoticed.

Tonight I will be spending the night with Callum here in the hospital in preparation for him to go home very soon! He has done a great job nursing with me today, and officially has no tubes! He's had his first bath, too! He looks like a normal baby, and I pray this is just a larger-than-normal bump in the road and Callum grows into a very healthy, normal little boy - of course, Kevin and I wonder if there will be any lasting effects from what he has gone through this past week, but, for now, we are just thankful we have Callum with us and doing well.

Kevin and I are so anxious to get Callum home so we can be together again as a family. I cannot express how difficult it has been for me to be away from our girls so much. I feel like the "working mom" - I don't get to put our girls to bed every single night, and I feel guilty when they ask me why I have to leave again. They are used to me being there every day. every night. And I miss them. I hope they understand why, and I know Mairead does (to a point), but it doesn't make it any easier. I know Kevin has grown as a daddy spending lots of time with his sweet girls, and I know they have grown closer to him, too. I can't wait for this wild roller coaster ride to be over and for us to be together.

A kiss...and a Hug

It has been since Friday evening that I have held my precious little boy in my arms. I don't count the few times he vomited during his first night that I was able to whisk him from out of the warmer to clear his mouth of all the vomit while the nurses cleaned him up.

Since then, I have been able to sneak in a quick kiss, but in all honesty, they have been too few and far between. Since Monday, Callum has been making some great progress, but the progress he has made since yesterday has been staggering. We are so proud of Callum, and it really seems like he made the turn for the better.

Last night they started weaning his nitric oxide and at 10pm last night, they got his level down to 5, so that means he has to stay at that level until 10pm tonight when they can start weaning down to zero. They aren't rushing him, but they aren't going too slow. The kid is getting active and really trying to go for his breathing tube, so they really want to get him extubated as soon as possible - and you know what, so do I. I am so ready! I just want to kiss. hug. and hold my baby boy.

Today he had another really great day. They were able to continue weaning his vent settings and got his oxygen levels on the vent down nice and low. At 4pm today they made the decision to switch him from the oscillating ventilator to a conventional vent. How exciting!!! At 430pm today, they made the big switch. And did wonderfully. While they got him settled on the new vent, I got nice and close to him. I leaned over, gave him kisses and hugs, and oh my.......it felt oh sooo good to just put his skin to mine. The nurse took off his little shades (that protect his eyes from the bili lights) and.............

he opened his eyes. 


And do you know what? This was the first time I have seen his eyes open. Ever. Because his face was so swollen and bruised from the delivery, he couldn't open his eyes. I have to say that seeing his eyes open to look at his mamma after I kissed him was the best gift I could have gotten today. It made me cry and only want to just scoop him up into my arms to hold him tight. It's just so close...I am getting a little impatient!

This evening Kevin and I went up to visit him while a friend of ours watched the girls. When we walked in our nurse had a great big smile on her face. He was down to 25% oxygen!!!!!!! Room air is 21% - he is soooooo friggin close. They are assuming he will be extubated tomorrow.........I just hope he has a good night. I am trying not to get my hopes up, he's made so much progress, but I know he could still regress a bit.

All I can think about right now is holding him. Nursing him. Touching him and just treating him like a normal baby. It's hard to believe it has been almost a week since I have done any of that...And I am so ready.

Trying to put hand in mouth.....or pull tube out. Can't figure out which...

Yes...those are socks on his hands so he can't pull his tube out :)

Behind the scenes.....a dad's perspective

Last night, I was at the hospital with Callum and I came home to Kevin telling me he had written out his "own" blog post. I've mentioned in the past how it's kind of fun (at times) to watch Kevin squeal a bit when it comes to spending time with the kids. Well, I think Kevin is certainly squealing...just a bit! 


I'll update on Callum a bit later in the day. So far, so good though! 

*********

I know there are many people who have been checking Steph’s blog frequently to see how baby Callum is doing.  Believe it or not, even her own husband learns things about his baby through the blog.  You see – behind every great car is a great design, behind every great work of is a great artist, and well, behind Callum’s recovery and Steph’s detailed updates on his progress, is a great…well… more like battered, beaten, and nearly defeated husband trying to keep together a home that Steph assures me is ops normal.  

So in the midst of baby Callum’s illness, I thought I’d hijack the blog for a few moments and try to put a lighter spin on some of the logistics of managing three little girls so Momma can be with her baby boy.  You see, I believe a baby needs his Momma in a way that a Daddy cannot provide, so I’m happy to visit as often as I can but I do believe my true role in this difficult chapter of our lives is to support Steph the best I can so she can focus all of her attention where it is truly needed, at Callum’s side.  

Before I take all the credit for conducting this orchestra of life, I must say that our friends and family have been tremendously supportive.  There is not a time that I have wanted to visit the hospital that I have not been able to and we really have more help than we can accept.  That has been a blessing to know how much love surrounds us.  

Back to that great…. well… more like battered, beaten, and nearly defeated husband.  I’m not saying I need the help and cannot handle the kids.  I’m not sending a message to Steph that she needs to spend more time at home.  What I’m saying is that every husband needs to walk, no run, to his wife and apologize.  Apologize for all those thoughts you think when you get home from work.  You know what I’m talking about, “why is the house a mess?  You forgot to run my errand?  How could you not have time for that?”  I can honestly say I have no idea how Steph does it, and manages to stay put together and have the kids look sharp at the same time.  I’m just happy to leave the house with three kids!  

Here’s an example of me getting the kids out of the house today:

Steph was at the hospital without a car so she asked if I could take the kids to pick her up about 5:30PM.  No problem I thought.  It was 4:30 at the time, plenty of time to get ready.  We finished our art project, cleaned up, and were ready to go.  I told the girls to go the bathroom.  The oldest two complied.  I went to put Clara on the potty to find out she had peed her pants, without a diaper on.  You see, before baby Callum arrived, Clara was potty trained.  She spends all her time at the house while not sleeping without a diaper, and even does short trips to the store without a diaper.  She hadn’t pooped in a diaper in weeks, and rarely has pee accidents.  Over the two days she has pooped two diapers, pooped in her booster seat and finger painted with it, and peed around the house more than a dog marking his territory.  

Anyways, back to the story…I head upstairs to get Clara some new leggings so we can head to the hospital.  I come downstairs and see Mairead dart out the front door yelling, “Clara, COME BACK!”  I sprint through the house and out the door to see Clara turning the corner onto our street at an eighteen-month-old trot, 3-year-old Lilah egging her on, and Mairead, trying to play mother hen and corral them as she runs down the driveway after them.  I sprinted down our 100 feet-long driveway (almost pulling a hammy) after them, turned the corner, and was greeted by our neighbor, who has two young children of their own.  She asked how it was going?  How could I lie, I had been caught red handed:

“It’s going great, just thought I’d let an eighteen month old and three year old go for a walk down to the water.”  

I confessed.  She offered to help.  I turned and took my humble self back to the house, put the kids in the car, and made it to the hospital.  

So Steph is at the hospital tonight, the girls are in bed (a story for another blog), and I’m sitting here, drinking some wine, realizing why steph asks me rub her feet this time every night.  No, it’s not easy.  But I know it’s the best way I can help.  The kids need me now, and while they won’t have pretty bows in their hair, be on time, or have matching cute outfits on, Steph can rest easy because they will be safe and loved.  

I wish I could have included some funny photos in this but do you think I have time for that!  

Newborn steps

View of Mt. Washington from Callums room

NICU, Day 4 (Tuesday)

This morning Kevin and I walked into Callums room, it was bright and sunny. The windows were open and there out the window was one of the most perfect views of Mount Washington I have ever seen - especially from here in Portland. I was hoping the brightness of the day would impact the type of day Callum would have...and I think it has. His night nurse made a special footprint card for us and three sets of footprints for his sisters. We are so thankful for these great nurses, respiratory therapists and docs who truly care about Callum and his entire family.

Callums little feet

Yesterday, Callum had progress, tiny progress, but it was progress, and that is all I ask of my little prince. When I left yesterday around 530pm, he had been stuck at around 70% oxygen for several hours and not really tolerating any more weaning. I didn't really mess with him yesterday - meaning minimal touching, stimulation and just letting him rest. He was really calm yesterday and didn't need any medication for the agitation, so, I let him have a day to rest. It was hard to keep myself from caressing his head, or letting him taste some of my milk on my finger or holding his hand, but I knew the more he rested, the better off he would be.

Last night our neighbor came over after we put the girls to bed and we left for a short visit with Callum. His night nurse was great and told us he was doing fabulous. By the time we left, he was down to 45% oxygen and really doing well. It was a great note to end the night on.

Today has been more of the same. He has been tolerating weaning of his ventilator and nitric oxide  with no problem at all. He is taking it like a champ today. I hate to say it, but maybe he is on that upswing! He has been super fiesty, and not in an agitation sort of fiesty, but a normal newborn feistiness.  He is arching his back, moving all over, trying to take the breathing tube out of his mouth - all the things we expect him to do when he is not sedated! He's enjoyed trying to suck the milk off of my finger that I give him. He is still pretty jaundice today, so they started him under some bili lights. When the doc told us what they were doing, I was unphased - "what's one more thing??? Plus, jaundice? Hell...that's a normal newborn thing!" I certainly can handle bili lights!

Under the lights

During rounds (when Callums team, including parents meet and discuss his care) this morning we spoke with the doctor about his prognosis and recovery. Is his progress average? below average? above average" Is he following a normal course for what he has gone through? All questions that I have been wondering - the internet can scare you, and I've read a lot, and I mean a lot of scary things about Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension. The doc made me feel a lot better when he said he was progressing at above average - meaning after what he went through on Saturday, he is doing exceptionally well. His doc also said that he does not expect Callum to suffer any long term effects from this pulmonary hypertension, and we are so very lucky that the doctors here knew exactly what was going on and treated it immediately - so fast that his cardiac echo (heart ultrasound) on Sunday showed normal heart function with no pulmonary hypertension - meaning, they were treating the PH perfectly.

His bruising is finally gone a bit! 

My milk has also come in at full force today. Holy boobs batman. I have achieved what I like to call "porn star status".  I know Callum will not have a lack of milk for when he is ready! I just cannot wait until I can hold him and nurse him like any other newborn. It will be the best.

The beginning of my milk stash

Our girls pediatrician came to visit us today and when she asked how I was doing I told her "Better...today was the first day I haven't cried". And it's true. I look at Callum today and I see his fiesty newborn personality peeking through. I see him kicking his legs in the air, waving his arms all around and pissed off because he has goggles on his face and two tubes stuck down his throat. The progress he has made today is awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better day. I try not to get too excited though - he could easily take a few steps backwards, but everyone here says they don't expect him to with the way he has been acting today. I hope they are right.

I'm home. He's not.

Since Callum had a "boring" day yesterday I decided it was time for me to go home and spend some time with the girls. Kevin and the girls picked me up at the hospital last night. When I stepped out of the elevator and saw my three sweet girls yelling "Mommmy!" I realized just how much I missed them and how much they needed me, too. This was the longest I have ever left any of our girls, especially Clara. When I left for the hospital on Thursday, I thought I'd be gone one night....maybe two, but definitely not three.

When we arrived home, it was weird. How could the house feel as though something or someone were missing when Callum has never actually been "present" in the house? The swing was empty. The car seat empty. When I unpacked our hospital bag Callum's clothes were still folded neatly along with his unused blankets. The house was eerily quiet - and the routine was too normal. We should be hearing a newborn screeching, kids yelling with Kevin and I trying to juggle the girls and a newborn who wants to nurse constantly at bedtime. Kevin says he tries to think of it as Callum still being inside of me - I wish I could think that way. If he were inside of me, I would be feeling him kick and know he were safe inside of me. I wish he were still inside of me because I'd still have him all tucked away nice and safe, feeling his little heels dig into my right side making me jump or see his little bum making my belly lopsided - something the girls loved to watch.

Another difficult thing we are dealing with is the girls. Of course, they are confused, and concerned, especially Mairead. Mairead saw Callum's birth, so she is very aware that he is here, just not with us. When Lilah saw me last night she blurted out "Where's your belly!!!???" - and she was able to express that Callum was no longer inside of me. Mairead knows he has sick lungs and needs help breathing. Before bed last night she was crying saying she missed Callum and wanted him to come home. She clearly needs to see her brother, but right now, its a bit intimidating for adults, let alone children. The oscillating ventilator is very loud with that "car engine" noise. There is a machine for the nitric oxide, IV polls, monitors, his bed, another ventilator (for when he transitions back over) and countless things coming in and out of his little body. I think once he transitions to a regular ventilator, I will bring her in and let her spend time with Callum. She needs to see him...

Before Kevin and I went to bed, I called the NICU to be sure Callum was doing okay. His nurse told me he was doing great and they had been able to shut off his blood pressure medication, dopamine at 9pm. This was great news because if his blood pressure is stable, it means his pulmonary hypertension is under control, and things are getting back to normal. We went to bed, and I awoke at 4am. I called the NICU again to check up on him, and was told he was having another good night. Finally, at 730am, I called again and was given a similar report, except they were able to turn down his oxygen settings a little bit and were trying to adjust some settings.

NICU, Day 3 (Monday):
It's almost like groundhog day - except there are subtle changes throughout the day. Good and not so good ones. This morning we woke up and got ready to head in to see Callum. I called in and got another good report. His oxygen settings are a bit lower this morning and his blood pressure is still within normal limits, but I know these things can change at any second.

Callums room - 2 ventilators, nitric oxide, IVs, monitors and his little house...

I walked in to his room and every time I do, I am in disbelief he is here - the sweet little baby lying there with all those tubes and machines is our little boy. He is pretty jaundice today but they won't be starting the bili-lights quite yet. They were able to reposition him again and he tolerated that very well - something he couldn't handle at all on Saturday. His blood pressure medication has been turned off since 9pm last night and his blood pressures have been normal. They've had to go up again on his oxygen settings, and while they were "normal limits" for a normal baby, they have to keep them on the higher side to help control the pulmonary hypertension, so for now, they are requiring him to have higher levels.

My milk is starting to come in and that has been tough, too. I hate pumping and none of the girls ever took bottles, so, having to pump just sucks...but, I will do whatever it takes for little Callum. I just wish I could be nursing him instead of having to hook myself up to a milk machine every few hours. Since I am still nursing Clara 1-2 times a day, she is actually doing her brother a favor by helping with the milk supply for him. I guess you could say I've put Clara to work. When she gets older, I will have to tell her what she did for him.

So, as I sit here feeling helpless, looking at my sweet little boy, I pray he will start to make a turn around with his breathing. He has come far since Saturday, but, I am selfish, I want him to come far enough so we can enjoy him, hold him, hear him cry, nurse him and bring him home. 


*If anything changes, I will update this post throughout the day...

A very rough start...

I don't know where to start. The last few days have been full of tears, worries and heartache for our sweet little Callum.

About 2 hours after birth, Callum started showing some signs of respiratory distress and our nurse brought him to their little special care nursery to be assessed. Of course, the nerves set in. I started to second guess myself about how early he really was (thankfully we know now that this isn't the case). As the evening went on, he became sicker and sicker. His respiratory rates were 80-140 breaths per minute (normal is like 40-60!), his oxygen saturations were becoming lower and lower, his need for supplemental oxygen kept growing and growing and he started vomiting up gobs and gobs of amniotic fluid - a sure sign his extremely rapid delivery had a negative effect on his respiratory status.

From about 7pm on, I never left his side. Every time I would start to feel comfortable leaving him to grab some sleep, he started to decline. I stayed with him, held his hand, rubbed his head and let him know I was there for him. He loves to suck, so he stayed calm sucking on my finger. As much as it hurt to not be able to hold my sick little baby boy, at least I was able to help care for him and keep his agitation to a minimum.

Come around 530am (Saturday morning), the nurses had to call in the pediatrician because his status was just declining rapidly. Once the pediatrician came in the decision was made to transfer Callum to Maine Medical Center where they have a great NICU. They were able to transfer my OB care there as well. After staying strong all night (and no sleep), I cried. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

Once we got to Maine Medical Center, the NICU team assessed Callum. Since his oxygen requirements were becoming higher and higher, they placed him on CPAP  and monitored him closely. They did all sorts of tests on him and the original plan was to let him rest since he was agitated and worked hard on breathing all night long. They did a chest xray which showed a possible 'pneumonia' (not the type you see in adults but fluid or substance in lungs - in our case amniotic fluid). When he got here, he was on 100% oxygen (not good), so they attempted weaning the oxygen to get him down to 50% but he just could not tolerate it at all. After a few hours of trying to stabilize Callum, the NICU doc started talking about intubating him. He showed us his chest XRAYs which were full of white haze, and not black (or air). Before we knew it, Callum was intubated (it took two attempts as Callum had to be difficult and fight the breathing tube), had an umbilical line, was on blood pressure support and was not doing well.

Kevin and I couldn't stop crying yesterday. All I could think of is what did I do to my beautiful baby boy. I couldn't look at my non-pregnant belly, only to think that he should still be inside of me. Protected. Protected by me. I wanted to hold him. Nurse him. Protect him. Hear his piercing newborn cry. Keep me up at night. aAnd all I could do was watch everyone work hard on our sweetheart. We would talk to the doctor and he would say 'this could happen, but I doubt it' - and then...it would happen. Finally by dinnertime, Callum was somewhat stable on a ventilator. It was so difficult to see our little boy on a ventilator. Since they try not to use a lot of sedation here, poor little Callum was so agitated. You could see him trying to cry around the ventilator - every time I looked at him, I cried. It was so sad.

We arrived back to see Callum around 730pm and the doctor started talking to us about PPHN (persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn) - most likely caused by his insanely rapid birth and aspiration of amniotic fluid and the lungs inability to function properly because of this. Something else to add to our list of complications with Callum, it was never ending and heart-wrenching. The NICU doctor assured me and Kevin that this has nothing to do with his gestational age (36w4d) and that Pulmonary Hypertension is a "big baby disease" - full term babies get this, not preterm infants. Knowing this could happen at 38w or 40w or 41w made me feel a little better. Soon after our discussion, the alarms started going off, his oxygen saturations were dropping. And dropping. The nurses and respiratory therapists were in his room trying to suction and stabilize him. They had to increase his oxygen levels to 100% support. It was touch and go for a while, we watched in shock as our sweet baby boy was slipping...

I heard talk about using an oscillating ventilator and nitric oxide, and before we knew it, all sorts of people and equipment were in our room. Callum was placed on the oscillator (which sounds like a car motor as it puts frequent bursts of oxygen into his lungs) with nitric oxide and within minutes his oxygen saturations were improving. I also spoke with the doctor about using more sedation with Callum as he just seemed increasingly agitated and trying to breath over the ventilator. Thankfully, we were both on the same page with this and he started Callum on some morphine and versed. A resting, peaceful Callum was what I wanted to see - not an agitated one (even though I like to see a fiesty little one). Once he was stabilized (1030pm) Kevin and I headed upstairs to sleep. I had been up for 42 hours straight. No joke. The nurse promised to call us if anything changed.

We were so exhausted. My eyes were swollen almost shut from crying. Kevin crawled into bed with me to just be together and before we knew it, it was 4am. You know you are exhausted when sleeping in a hospital bed together is comfortable and you don't wake up. I also realized it was 4am and we had received no call from the NICU. It was good news. Kevin called down to see how Callum was doing and we were told he had been doing well and stable. Just what we needed to hear so we could get some more sleep.

Around 8am (Today, Sunday) we headed back down to the NICU praying for a better day. A stable day. Even a boring day. When we walked into Callums room the nurse had a smile on her face. She said he's been doing well, tolerating the weaning of his oxygen settings (down to 80% from 100%) and acting much quieter - not so irritable. He looked better, too. He looked more relaxed.

As of right now, 530pm on Sunday, he has had a good, boring day. He has tolerated oxygen weaning down to 75% (they've had to stop here, but hoping to get him below 50% by tonight), his blood pressure has begun to increase, which means his pulmonary hypertension is being very well controlled or improving, so they've been able to decrease some of the medication used to increase his blood pressure (dopamine for you medical people). He is a little jaundice today, but that is to be expected because he is not eating, his face is severely bruised from having such a rapid descent at delivery (looks like a mac truck drove over the right side of his face), and he isn't pooping very much (from not eating). He has tolerated position changes, which is something he didn't handle well yesterday at all. I've been able to use the colostrum I pump and swab it into his mouth - the feeling of his little tongue tickling my finger as he tastes what I have for him puts a smile on my face...though only making me want to pick him up and nurse him. My parents and my brother and sister in law have been able to see him today as well.

I only pray that Callum continues to have "boring" days where we hear they are changing things for the BETTER...and we are making progress, even if it is small baby steps, it is progress. While Callum is still a very, very sick little boy, we are left with just a little bit of hope that he is a fighter and will be able to come home as soon as he can.

I will continue to use this blog to update everyone on Callum, so please, check back often. We cannot express how much we appreciate everyones offer of support, help and prayers.

Happy Birthday, Callum John!

After getting a somewhat restful night rest, we were woken up with the plan to have a baby!

At 0820am, my OB broke my water and we were on our way to having a baby! I started off about 5-6cm. It took a bit to jump start contractions just as it did with Clara's labor. My OB started just a little bit of pitocin about 3pm and I finally got into a great labor pattern. Once things got really moving things happened really, really fast. The scar tissue on my cervix was probably causing a bit of delay in dilation, but just as my OB suspected, once I got a few really got contractions things would go really fast.

And they did. Almost too fast...

I got really uncomfortable with a crap load of pressure about 350pm or so. My OB checked my cervix and I was 7cm/100% - then minutes later, I wanted to push. I went from 7cm to delivered in less than 15 minutes. Like I said. Fast. Just as I started pushing, Kevin called my mom and Mairead in for the birth. Mairead came and stood right next to me. She had the biggest smile on her face, and the excitement in her eyes was just contagious. As the baby got really close to being delivered, Mairead noticed I was in a bit of pain (you know, he was right there). Mairead says to me "Mommy, if you're in pain, I can hold your hand" - talk about one of the sweetest moments. Ever. She brought tears to everyones eyes with her love, concern and excitement over her baby brothers birth. This will surely be a moment she or I will never forget. As the time got really close, she started to get curious as to what was really going on - so, down she went to stand near my mom and Kevin.

At 405pm, Callum John was born weighing 6lbs4oz (the same exact weight as Mairead) & 19'' long

He looked just like his big sister Lilah. Absolutely beautiful. Since he had a very, very, very rapid descent and birth, he swallowed a ton of amniotic fluid on his way out. I tried to stimulate him, but he appeared just like his big sister Lilah at birth - peaceful and not a screamer. I dried him off and just stared at him. He was perfect. He nursed almost immediately - perfectly. I was relieved with the fact that he would take after his sister Lilah and be a "baracuda" at the breast. He fed for close to an hour and each time he fell off, he would throw a fit. I loved it.

By this time, all three girls and my parents were in our room. The girls were in love. Clara was so excited, she climbed right up in bed with us and just stared. Babbled to her baby brother. Lilah and Mairead climbed up in bed with us and just loved on their baby brother. And so it starts....a lifetime of love and mothering from his three big sisters.

After he finished nursing, he started to make some grunting noises in his breathing. The nurse took him over to be weighed and assessed. She noticed the grunting too and checked his oxygen saturations. Low 80s. Not good. She wrapped him up tight and brought him to their newborn nursery to be assessed. While he was there, we all shared some pizza for dinner to celebrate Callum's birth.

Finally. A plan...

So, they're not letting me go home. I have some scar tissue on my cervix (from cerclages) and since I am contracting frequently (and 6cm), they're worried about it breaking open and me having a very rapid labor (it's like my cervix is saying "no, I'm not going to open......no, no.....and then BLAST! open" Not exactly the labor most people know to love and this is what happened with Clara. Once the scar tissue was broken, Clara arrived in an hour......ah, the joys of cervical incompetence...

The doc is stuck at another hospital, so she'll come in the morning to break my water. I'm happy with this plan. It gives the baby more time. It gives us time to get some sleep. It gives Mairead a pretty good chance to see her baby brother be born.

For now, I will get some sleep and start "fresh" in the morning!

Good Night!

STILL here.

OK. I'm frustrated.

I'm here. At the hospital. No baby.

I am still waiting for the doc to get here - she's been held up at the other local hospital delivering a baby (c-section and now an active labor patient she can't leave).

I have been getting antibiotics every 4 hours in anticipation of the doctor breaking my water.

To say I am a bit perturbed is an understatement. If I had known, I would have gone home a long time ago......I am a bit sad because Mairead will most likely miss the birth and I know how much she wanted to see this.

That's all for now...