Monday, December 19, 2011

Little Lilah Loo

I love my Lilah Loo. I love my Lilah Loo. I love my Lilah, Lilah Loo! 

Lilah Loo, I love you. Lilah Loo, I looooove you! 

I love my Lilah Loo, I love my Lilah Loo, I love my Lilah! Lilah Loooo! 

I find it extremely hard to believe that our sweet little Lilah Loo is four years old. If you know Lilah, then you know there is something about Lilah. It doesn't take much for her to capture the hearts of those around her. Her personality and her laughter is so contagious. She is a go-getter for sure, and puts 200% into everything she does - willingly. Whether it is swimming, skating, skiing or riding a bike, she is very good at what she does.

Two weeks ago at skating lessons, the director of lessons came up to us and said if there was a "best skater" award, Lilah would receive it. They are just in shock that she is so aggressive with skating, so much more so than the other children in her class who are often whining and crying. At swimming lessons, she is swimming with boys that are TWICE the height of her and some twice her age, though she has no trouble pushing them aside and jumping in the pool first.

But yet...

I lay with her in bed at night, and she curls up next to me, and we sing the song above together. I look at her petite little feet, all curled up tight next to mine, and it brings me right back to when she was a tiny infant. She was our smallest, 6lbs at birth, and just so tiny. She is so big, but yet, she is still so little. I can still see her as our little Lilah Loo. At about 28lbs she is still little, but she packs a mean punch.

When she's tired, watch out. She can be nasty. Hitting, and generalized not-niceness. And when she's really tired, she doesn't have a problem curling up on the couch or in her bed and going to sleep. She is our best sleeper by far - you never hear from her. Ever. And if you do, you know something is really wrong. She has always been an "all or nothing" kind of kid.

Mairead lovin' on my belly at the start of my bed rest
I will always think back to my pregnancy with her and the terror that plagued us daily. We would wonder if Lilah would be born to us safe and sound. She was the baby I was scared that I would never hold in my arms - alive. At 19 weeks is when I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and would need an emergent cerclage. I will never forget seeing my amniotic sac sitting inside of my cervix.....not exactly the way it was supposed to go. I remember being afraid to move thinking that if I moved too much something could happen. And when she was born at almost 37 weeks safe and sound, the feeling of relief just came over me, it was so emotional. It was probably one of the first "family" stressors we had for me and Kevin, but we came out stronger and closer than ever. We were both scared and were worried about how we would care for Mairead, who was just 15 months old, but we did it and we were lucky enough to end up with a healthy baby girl in the end.

Today we celebrated Lilah's birthday as a family. Kevin had a work holiday party, so he made some pulled pork and we all went into "daddy's work" together. We met his co-workers, enjoyed a good old Yankee swap and some nice family time, too. After that, Lilah opened her birthday gifts from her sisters and us, then we headed to Reston Town Center for a yummy dinner at Il Fornaio for pizza.

Mairead (19mos)  and newborn Lilah
Tonight, I said good night to Mairead and Clara before making my way into the birthday girls room. Once it was Lilah's turn, I got into bed with Lilah, picked her up, and cradled her in my arms. I looked at her and said "do you realize how tiny you used to be?" I told her about the night she was born, and how she loved to snuggle skin to skin on my chest underneath my  nightgown, which I still have and still brings me back to that night. It was a special moment for the both of us. I told her what an amazing baby she was and how she loved to nurse and snuggle. She says to me "Mommy? I will only get bigger and bigger, right? Not smaller and smaller..." - "That's right my love, you grow everyday, inside and out"

Happy Birthday to our sweet little Lilah...words cannot even describe the love that mommy and daddy have for you.

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