Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Terrible 6s???

Everyone always talks about the terrible 2s! It's everywhere. And it's to the point where most parents are afraid of what demons will be possessing their sweet little babe. For me, the 2s in any of the girls were not bad. Yeah, there were those stages where they were climbing everything, frustrated verbally, and just exerting a little bit of independence.

But what I want to know is why the hell are people not talking about the Terrible 6s??? No, seriously, I want to know, because this one is hitting me like a ton of bricks. And I am praying that my daughter isn't the only one who is making me sweat profusely on most days.

And do you know what??? I hope she reads this when she is older. I hope I hear the phrase "I never acted like that when I was 6......" and then I can show her this post. In all seriousness, I can run circles around newborns.....infants.....toddlers, but this attitude crap is scaring the hell out of me. No, really, I am scared. The kid hasn't even been in school yet, and she is striking the diva attitude pretty impressively.

I'd like to think these personality changes are occurring because of our move, or because of daddy working in Virginia, but the truth is, they started back in April, but I just need to know what the heck is going on. Over the past few months, the attitude has just gotten out of control. We've tried all sorts of different ways to teach her to use her words, but no matter what I do, I feel as though it just isn't working. When she isn't striking an attitude, she's spitting, or more like blowing raspberries in my face or her sisters face, or she's whining, screaming, yelling, stomping her feet......please, someone tell me my daughter isn't the only 6 year old acting like this! Please.....

I've taken more things away or cancelled special trips, events, activities and playdates, than I have ever had to before. It breaks my heart. I don't want to.....and I have even praised all the good she does, by late nights up with me, trips to a water park, sleepovers with friends, but sometimes I feel as though no matter what I do for her, it just isn't good enough. I just want my easygoing, happy-go-lucky girl back! I hate having to send her to her room, or taking things away, but she has to realize she isn't the boss.

Today was a tough day for her. She woke up whining, and right then, knew it would be a tough day, not to mention, she woke up about an hour earlier than usual. Great. Before 9am, she was already in time out in her room. She came down, and had a good remainder of the morning. When it was time for her and the girls to pick up from having a friend here this morning, she started throwing an attitude. I gave her several chances, and then took away her American Girl doll. We ran to Trader Joe's for a quick grocery order, the girls did well, but by the time we came home, and it was time to pick up the toy room, the attitude started soaring after about 10 minutes. She then screamed "I hate picking up! I am going to my room!"all while Clara and Lilah stayed and helped me finish. So, I put a movie on for them, then of course, Mairead came downstairs, but I told her she wasn't done. She came into the kitchen with me, emptied the dishwasher, washed windows, cabinets, tables and chairs, then we headed out to run errands. She once again pulled herself to together, but by our 2nd stop, she was becoming defiant and egging the other girls on. By the time we were back in the car, she was spitting at Lilah, kicking her, and screaming. She went immediately to her room until dinner once we got home. She came down for dinner, and went back to her room afterwards. Once she realized her sisters were watching a show in my bed, she lost it. I went into her room and read to her. I bought the American Girl book "Feelings" hoping that this might help her understand what may be going on in that pretty little head of hers....I am at a loss.

Once I got the other kids to bed, she continued to cry. I'd go in every few minutes, reassure her, tell her I love her and tell her that tomorrow is a new day to try again, and to learn from her bad choices today. It was a really tough mommy day, finishing the day completely defeated and deflated. I know my sweet, fun, funny, caring, loving baby girl is in there, I just have to find a way to show her that it is more fun to make good choices, and not so much fun to make bad ones...Ugh.

I just hope I am doing her right...Being a parent sucks sometimes!


  1. I have one of those 6 year olds!!! I don't know what happened...but she has a new attitude and it ain't good! We have days where I feel like she's spent most of it in her room, because it is NOT okay to stand there and yell at me that she hates me and I'm stupid. I'm okay with her being mad, and she can use mad words, but I draw the lines with insults because I am the parent and she still has to show some respect. Heavy sighs and eye rolling, banging things around, slamming door, instigating arguments with her little sister just for the sake of getting someone else riled up, standing her ground and screaming "NO!" and making this HUGE to-do over something that was SO simple. A 2 second request of "can you put your napkin in the hamper please?" can turn into a 2 hour stand off lately. Why?!??? Oh no one warns you about the attitude and angst at 6, but I am SO relieved every time you say something about it so I know I'm not alone in these battles. Too young for me to take the phone or the car keys away, too big to pick up and carry to her crib when she starts the kicking and screaming, what's a mother to do?? I feel like I don't have any real currency to curb her behaviors, I take away an outing or playdate and she screams at me "Fine! I didn't want to go anyway!" and then I'm left with a disappointed sibling and a 6 year old who doesn't seem the least affected! I take away special toys (we have the AG fad here too!) and she will throw it out her bedroom door with a flourish, as if to say "Have it, it won't stop me from driving you nuts!" I make more individual time for her, make sure I'm scheduling things and doing things that she'll find challenging and exciting...but making sure life isn't TOO challenging lest she get frustrated about anything...I praise, I cuddle, I scold, I scream (yes, "Crazy Mommy" has been making an appearance on a near weekly basis lately where I just pop just a zit and holler right back...ahh, she brings out my mature side :P) PLEASE tell me that she'll outgrow this and SOON! I love 6, first grade and all the fun things that come with it...pumpkin smiles and chapter books, Daisy Scouts and best friends, I adore her so much and wish we could find a way to enjoy this time without the A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E. I don't drink, but seriously I'm thinking of starting, lol.

  2. It will pass. It will. You are doing what you can. Thinking of you....and your precious little ones.


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