Monday, April 16, 2012

A 2nd Birthday

Because the day Callum was born wasn't that happy of a day, I have a hard time celebrating that day. I mean, his birth day was one of the best days of our lives, but it was also one of the worst days of our lives. April 8th, his birthday, was filled with joy and happiness for less than two hours, before he was taken to the nursery and we watched him go down hill with each minute. I stayed by his bedside until I had to give him up to the neonatal transport team - one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I felt as though a piece of me was taken away. I shouldn't have had to give my newly born son to a team of medical professionals to be taken away to a different hospital, I should have been nursing him and snuggling him in our bed together, touching him, caressing  him, sleeping next to him and sharing the joy of him with his daddy and his big sisters. But, I wasn't. I have a hard time looking upon that day and thinking good thoughts. And for the next 7 days, our life was a roller coaster ride. Experiencing things that no parent should ever have to experience with a newborn.

However, on Thursday, April 14th, was one of the best days since Callum had been born. He was extubated, or taken off of the ventilator. I heard his cry. I was able to kiss him. I was able to hold him. I was able to nurse him. Daddy was able to hold him and kiss him. I would have to say that this day was probably better than the day he was born. The hardest part of that day was leaving him that night, but the easiest part of leaving him was knowing that I would be returning in the morning to spend the entire day with our baby boy, and not just watching him from afar in his little house attached to machines like I had been doing for days beforehand, but spending the day holding him, nursing him and actually caring for him like a real baby.

I remember waking up the next morning and feeling as though it was like Christmas morning. I couldn't wait to get to the hospital to play catch up with Callum. All I did was hold him. Nurse him. Dress him in the clothes that I had planned to dress him in after his birth and I got to bathe him, too. For me, this was almost like the day he was born. His 2nd birthday. And while he wasn't like other newborns, he was the closest to a newborn than he had ever been, and from that point forward, he continued to thrive, I continued to hold, and nurse our baby until he came home just a few days later. From this day forward, it was all good...

So, happy 2nd birthday to our baby boy...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Have a COMMENT or QUESTION? Leave one here!