Thursday, May 17, 2012

My sleep is more important than yours...

Do you ever have this discussion with your husband? And more importantly, do you ever have this discussion with your husband in the middle of the night?! (and have you ever argued about it in the middle of the night???)

The baby is crying. Okay, screaming. It's 2am and you don't want to get out of bed. You lay there quietly pretending to sleep while hoping that your husband will get tired of hearing the baby and jump out of bed to rock the baby back to sleep. You just want a few more hours of your bed to yourself.

Sound familiar?

Except. It just doesn't happen once in a great while. It happens almost every night. And after 13 months of getting up in the middle of the night, you've hit a wall, you realized you need more sleep. And not just one night of decent sleep, but a more consistent sleep pattern? (I am not talking 12 hours straight, but more like 6? 8?)

Then your husband realizes after a few nights that getting up in the middle of the night is the mammas job. And then you both wait silently in bed waiting for the other to get up. I know Kevin is just laying there praying I am the one who jumps out of bed, grabs the baby and brings him back to our bed to nurse him so he can go back to sleep. But, What. About. Me? What about my sleep? Yeah, sometimes I fall back to sleep with Callum nursing with an open bar of milk, indulging himself for an hour, sometimes more, but I can't always fall back to sleep.

Please tell me I am not the only one??? Hello? Anyone... 

Don't get me wrong, I love my snuggle time with my babies, but I also love my sleep. And I need more. 

Do you ever get into a "heated" 2am conversation about how your sleep is more important than his, and he says his sleep is more important than yours. Yeah. He has to work. (but don't I, too?). I give our babies a year of my patience with multiple nighttime wakings, and I am realistic about my expectations, but Callum, you slept 8-10 hours as a very small infant can you please, please, please sleep more than you have been sleeping??? All I need is help for a short period to get him sleeping longer stretches!

I am not quite sure what it is. Teeth? (my guess since he only has two teeth) Growth spurt? the sheer fact that he is still in our room (albeit in his separate space, but he can still see us) or the fact that he just wants to suck on B@@by. You see, all the girls had a  roller coaster first year of sleep. Sleeping through the night by 6-8 weeks followed by crap sleep starting at 4 months through about 10-12 months, but then sleeping 10 hours by one. Well, not this cat. His sleeping is just not cool. And since we do not do "cry it out" it takes a little bit more of an effort on my part, but in the end, all the girls end up being great sleepers!

But of course, last night he proved to me that he can sleep until 4am (8 hours)!


  1. This is why our baby sleeps in our bed with us, because I deserve sleep too. After all, I work too. If the hubby ever raises a stink about it, I tell him that we can put our girl to bed in her own room if he's willing to learn how to put her back to sleep and get up with her in the night too. That quickly ends the argument because his sleep is WAY more important. Now when she wakes up, I barely even register it.

  2. That sounds like something I'd say, April! Thankfully Kevin doesn't mind sharing our bed with our kids. All of our kids share our bed most nights at some point, but the rule is the kids have to start the night in their own bed, except if their sick. It has always worked well for us. Callum tends to be like his big sister, Lilah, and can restless in bed with me, this is my cue that he wants to go back to his crib....but there is always some portion of the night that he is with me.

    I am glad you can get some quality snuggle time in! Enjoy :)

  3. We co-slept (still do), but H. would fall asleep in her crib (I'd put her down to play for a few we I tucked her big sister in and had some 1 on 1 time with my big girl) at the beginning of the night and so SOMEONE (aka Mama, "I have to work and you don't", The Milk Lady) was the one getting up. Everyone is done nursing, but I'm still the one getting up since there are Tooth Fairy duties, nightmares to sooth, tinkle accidents, a cough that needs a cup of water. So here's our deal after now: I get up at night with the kids (because he can stand to let them CIO more than me and I always cave first, so what was I waiting for? lol), and also I can work in pajamas with one eye open if need be. But he is NEVER to mention the fact dinner might not be made or he's stepping over tricycles and princess gowns, I don't want to hear that he's grabbing clean underwear from the dryer instead of the drawer or that all the clean dishes are in the dishwasher. And he's very good about it. And I do my best. But on sleep-deprived days the house just doesn't get done, I am not Wonder Woman. The kids are fed, cleaned, educated, loved, played with..all else I manage to get done is gravy on days when I'm function on less than 4 hours of zz's. BUT on Saturday morning, I SLEEP IN. If he has to work, he can go in late. If the kids wake up after 12am, they are HIS responsibility. I actually use the guest room so I am completely undisturbed for one entire night each week. It's cool, dark, no little feet smashing in my face, no sleeping with one ear open for someone to holler for me. ONE NIGHT I get. And you know what? I miss them then, lol. Pathetic I know, heh. For me, all I needed was that one total night each week and for now it's working. And also, I seriously can't wait until they are all teenagers and I can run in their rooms each morning screaming "Mr. Sun is up! Mr. Sun is up!" That thought comforts me :)


Have a COMMENT or QUESTION? Leave one here!