Hereeeeeeeee we go!

So, after I posted earlier, I thought "hmmmmmmm, maybe I should check my cervix again and see what's going on..."

So I did.

I was 5cm. I called my OB and they said why don't you come into the office to get checked. Perfect.

Two minutes later, the office calls back and says "Hey Steph, it's the nurse again.....So, yeah, I just talked with the doc, and ahhh, she apparently doesn't trust your cervix like I do, and she just wants you to head straight into the hospital."

OK. Great. So, I went into overdrive. Got the girls dressed. Changed our sheets. Did some laundry. Cleaned up. Made sure everything was somewhat organized and called my parents to let them know the plan. I knew once they saw I was 5cm they wouldn't let me leave.

And they haven't.

I'm sitting here. Waiting. Even though I tested negative for group B strep, I was positive for Mairead and Lilah, and I was always taught "once GBS+, always GBS+" - so, antibiotics it is....I got my first dose about 130pm, and once I get my second (about 530pm), they'll break my water and it will be show time for real!

It's crazy to think! Have I mentioned how I am so not looking forward to having to push this baby out??? It's exciting, too! Our girls are so excited. Mairead is worried she is going to miss it, but, as long as everything goes "as planned" - she shouldn't miss a thing!

So, of course, there is another active labor patient at another hospital, so I have to wait for her to deliver before they'll break my water!!! Wait. Wait and Wait some more!

Still here...but for how long?

Yep! You read that right! I am still pregnant. For the moment!

It's been three days since my cerclage was removed and our little prince is still cooking away inside. I'm happy about that, I know with my whole "due date debate" things may be a bit off, so I hope he stays in as long as he needs to!

Yesterday, I was really crampy with a ton of pressure all day, I checked my cervix later in the day and what do you know.......I am pretty sure I was about 5-6cm. By that time in the day, I did not want to head in, so, I laid low, and thought getting a good night sleep would be the best thing! So, that's what I did. I slept decently, and woke up this morning to about a 4-5cm cervix. I figured that would happen after being off my feet all night - imagine that! I'm just hanging out wondering when I will go back to 5-6cm, that's when I will call.

I'll admit. I'm a little worried about this little guy. I just hope he's big enough and does okay when he is born. I know I felt apprehensive about the girls, too, especially Clara since she was our earliest. We've lucked out with all three girls being perfectly healthy after birth without any interventions, and I just hope that he is just as healthy as the girls are!

So, I stand here (should be sitting) wondering what today will bring.......another day wondering or the day we will meet our little prince!

Our sweet girls...

It's a long story, but we "lost" our camera charger.....so, I got a little behind on uploading my photos on my laptop. Needless to say I have been a tad behind on photographs!

Here are the BIG sisters to be playing outside in the snow...

Chocolate-chip cookie making with mamma! The girls had a blast - can't hide this activity from Clara now, she insists on helping just as much as the big girls!

"Yeah, I'm almost 5 and I have an attitude"

Mairead being a big helper to her little sister

Hard to believe Clara is about to become a big sister.......

One day, we had a picnic planned with school friends, but it was too chilly. The girls asked to have their picnic inside - and I happily obliged...

And last, but not least.......my little leprechauns!

Stitch Free!

It's official. I am stitch free!

It's a weird feeling and not as a "weird" feeling down there but a weird feeling as in I am about to have another baby. I am about to give birth for a fourth time.....I am about to nurse another newborn. It is just crazy!

So, about the cerclage removal. It isn't the funnest thing, but it isn't the worst thing either. The best thing about it - the discomfort only lasts a few minutes. At 845 this morning, my OB removed my stitch. It took her a few minutes. The baby's head is just so so so low that it's hard to get the speculum underneath the baby's head (the head is actually in front of my cervix if you are at all familiar with female anatomy). There is some pressure, throbbing and cramping, but I just close my eyes and think of how worth it this all was, and then, it is over.

As soon as she removed the stitch, she did a cervical exam. I immediately dilated to 3cm. She said there was a band of scar tissue on my cervix (which is common with cerclages) and she thinks once that band of scar tissue breaks, that it will be very fast! After that, my OB sent me on my merry way and told me to come back in a few hours for another check. We took the girls out for a donut because they behaved so well, we came home and then went to the mall. I had no bleeding this time (I had some spotting/minor bleeding with the others), but definitely a lot of cervical pressure and throbbing.

When I went back at 1245, I was still the same (3cm), so, it could be anytime now. My guess is that it will be another 2 days or so! My OB couldn't believe just how LOW this baby's head is.....I have a feeling this will be another fast labor!

What is your guess!?!

Tomorrow is the big day.

Tomorrow will mark the third time that I have beat cervical incompetence. And I feel so very lucky...

Tomorrow, my cerclage will be removed and as I put it "the flood gates will be allowed to open"

It still hasn't hit me. And I am not sure when it will, but I know, I am so very excited to meet this little prince of ours, and I know his big sisters are even more excited!


So, we'll take a little poll - you can submit your guess by clicking on the comment button below this post:

1. When do you think he will be born?
2. How much will he weigh?


Here is a little background information:

Mairead: 37 weeks & 6lbs4oz (No Cerclage, induced)


Lilah: 36 weeks, 6 days & 6lbs, 0z (Born 6 days post cerclage removal)


Clara: 36 weeks, 2 days & 7lbz, 0z (Born 2 days post cerclage removal)


Tomorrow, I will be 36 weeks exactly.

So, what are your guesses? Will he come the same day as my cerclage is removed or will he take is sweet time and take a while longer?

Looking forward to seeing what everyone guesses!

Ya gotta look good on the table!

It's official, unless of course this kid decides to play any April fool games beforehand, on Monday, I will be getting my cerclage removed at 0830! It is hard to believe the time is fast approaching and by this time next week we could very well be home with our newest member - or at least holding him in our arms!

This last week has been full of preparations for the baby and me! Last weekend I washed his clothes and have been organizing things. I've started thinking about what I will be bringing to the hospital with me and most importantly, been scheduling appointments to make sure this lady is all dolled up for the big day! I've been on the hunt down for some nice, comfy PJs - you won't catch me in those supposed one-size-fits-all hospital gowns - I'm not sick, I've given birth (that's a whole 'nother topic for a whole different day....." (though, I'll admit - I do like those mesh underwear they hand out!) Of course this picky mamma has certain criteria for "I've just given birth PJs" - they have to be dark colored (you know giving birth isn't the cleanest of things for the first day or two), they have to support the girls (you know what I mean...) and they have to be appropriate to wear in a hospital - no slinky gowns or silky pajamas here!

While I may possess a lot of qualities of a crunchy mamma, I also enjoy a good pampering, too! Today, I had an appointment at the hair salon for a cut and color and this weekend I will be heading to get a pedicure.

So before I start talking about primping - I'll have to tell a funny story about one of my hairdressers.

Before I had Clara, I went to the same salon I went to today. The "guy" who cut my hair is gay. He was hilarious and  I enjoy talking to him. When he heard I was due to have Clara within a week or so, he exclaims "Yaaaaaaaa Gotttta look good on THE table!" I will never forget it, and he's right! You gotta look good, or at least feel halfway good! 

I remember when I worked as a labor & delivery nurse and seeing some people with nasty feet - ewwwwwww! There is nothing I hate more than feet, and nasty feet are even worse! YUK! Not only do I want to feel good about myself while everyone is invading my personal space (if you've had a baby, you know what I mean), but I want to feel good afterwards. Having my hair cut and nails done just makes me feel human, and sometimes after having a baby, you don't feel quite so human, so, I do everything I can to help make myself feel normal - you know, as normal as you can after having your 4th child and being a sleep deprived milk machine all while chasing around three small children! God, I must be insane!

So, for the next few days, I will be preparing myself for childbirth and having a newborn again. Of course, there are still a few last minute preparations for the baby, and enjoying the last few days as a "House full of Fairies".....before our prince arrives and rocks our household!

Nighttime Waking?

I was up at 230am last night and then I couldn't get back to sleep.

I wasn't woken up by the little prince practicing his acrobatic routine.

And I wasn't woken up because I had to pee.

.........I was woken up by an almost 5 year old because she thought it may be a good time to throw a fit.

If one of our three children is going to wake up in the middle of the night, I could almost bet my life it would be our eldest child. It's just one of those things, she has always done it, and no matter how many times it happens, it still infuriates me and Kevin. (She's had fits about her music being too low, too high, one of her toys that she hasn't seen in a year isn't in her bed suddenly.....you name it, she has probably thought of it).

You may think she woke up because she had a bad dream or because there was a monster under her bed or something of that nature. But...nope.

She had a fit over a nightlight.

Yes, one of those things that helps keep the room a little light in the dark.

Kevin went in there and she immediately lit up like a Christmas tree demanding for this particular princess light. You also may think that she could have been scared of the dark. But, you're wrong again. There was already a night light shining nice and bright in their room, it just wasn't the princess one she wanted at two thirty in the morning.

Not only was there a light already shining bright, but this particular night light hadn't even been plugged in for days. And not only had it not been plugged in for days, but Mairead was the one who unplugged it.

The "fit" as we call it lasted for about 15 minutes. After I heard Kevin struggling with a screaming Mairead, I went in, and I knew once I was awake, it would be tough for me to get back to sleep again. Mairead screamed. Yelled. Kicked. Acted possessed, really. We refused to give in to such behavior and that only fueled her fire, but we certainly could not give in.

Obviously, something "else" besides the nightlight was the real culprit. My guess: An overtired almost five year old. She's been waking up early and been quite busy, which has led to more whining, less listening and interrupted sleep for everyone. Unfortunately, Mairead has never been a napper, even as an infant. I just wish she would give in and get the sleep she needs, but she won't.

Ah. The joys of raising children.

I hope she snaps out of this little "phase" before baby boy makes his appearance! For now, she'll be going to bed early!

Kindergarten

While we know Kevin will definitely be working in DC come late summer, we do not know yet what me and the girls (plus baby boy - guess I should get used to saying "kids") will be doing - staying here in Maine or moving to DC.

For the last few weeks Kevin and I have decided to stop obsessing over the move (it was obviously too much as evidenced by a +shingles culture on me two weeks ago), obsessing over houses and just focus on the present, not to mention, focusing on our sweet baby boy who is about to be born. I was feeling like the disappointment of having to move was overshadowing our sweet baby boy - and it shouldn't be that way. We should be focusing on him! So, that is what we have been doing - occasionally talking about and looking for houses.

So, today, I called the local elementary school and asked them what I should do about Mairead. Should I register with the probable intent to cancel her registration or wait until we have made a definite decision on where we will live and then register her for kindergarten. The super nice lady said to register her now as it will be much easier than to try and do it later - so that's what we did.

I registered my sweet little Mairead for Kindergarten. It was bittersweet, surely.

Filling out the forms, and seeing the school was a bit of a tease, I'll admit. The process was painless and the school was tiny. I want to send her there. I want our children to go to a small school - but do I want my husband to have to travel each and every week to and from Maine? I'm not so sure. It's a tough call.

When I picked up Mairead from school and told her where we were going, she got excited. I had to explain to her there was a pretty good chance she would not be going  to this Kindergarten, let alone any Kindergarten. It was tough, but thankfully she understood. When we finished the registration, she was very, very excited, and said she was ready to start kindergarten tomorrow. Definitely bittersweet.

So, today, officially, our big girl is signed up for Kindergarten. Whether she will go to a public Kindergarten remains unknown, but at least makes it real for her no matter where she attends.

Wasting my time with stupidity!

I hate when people waste my time.

I hate when people waste my time while I am preparing to have my fourth kid.

I also have no tolerance for stupid people who waste my time.

Last weekend, I went hog on the upstairs and cleaned out all the girls clothes, including baby clothes. I sorted them into keep (I plan on making a quilt with all of our special baby clothes), sell and use for mud season (if you live in Maine, you understand).

I came up with bags and bags and bags of clothing, so I decided to put some of it on Craigslist.

First, I put up an entire trash bag FULL of onesies, blankets, PJs, bibs, socks, etc.

This lady emailed to tell me she wanted the stuff and her father would be over the following day to pick it up. I told her I also had other brand name clothing for sale. She wasted my time for about an hour and forced me to separate things into sizes (which I had to do anyways). At the very end, she said she was still trying to get someone to drive to our town to pick them up. Never heard from her again. Thanks for wasting my time, I surely didn't have to go through these clothes on a Saturday evening.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Then, this morning, I posted some newborn up to 6 month clothing. All brand name clothing in excellent condition. I received an email from another girl. My "stupid" alert should have gone off right from the get-go, but, I guess I had sucker written across my Craigslist ad and I fell for it.

Here is her initial email:

" how much do u want for ur clothing"

My thought: Didn't you read my post? Which post are you referring to? The PJ/onesies or the clothes? I said make me an offer. 

Her response: 

 "all of it? what brands do u have"

My thought: Seriously? Did she NOT read my post? It listed all the brands. And responded with the clothes I had, pretty much a regurgitation of my post. 

Then she starts asking if she can buy certain brands. I told her no, I didn't have time to sort through everything. Again. Im becoming annoyed.

Then asks if I have a pic of the clothes. Then says, well just the lot of clothes, not individual photos. Gee, how nice of her.

Then, proceeds to tell me she lives in Rockland, Maine. Not close to here. Now, I KNOW I put our location on the post. Does this girl not know how to read? I am thinking not.

So, after all that stupidity, I tell her we live near Portland, and she says "Yeah, that's too far"........................

WOW. I'm sure she's a winner.

So, after that, we headed to the grocery store for a weekly food order. I'm obviously pregnant. It's obvious we have three, young girls. Boy, did the comments fly today! Let's see.....

1. "Wow! What cute girls you have!...........OH! And you're pregnant too!?! Wow. Another girl or a boy?" and I responded with "A boy." and she says "Oh, good! Now you can stop trying!"

HA HA HA! Yeah. Right lady. We would have kept going. And going. And going to get a boy.

2. This one was at the cash register. More winners there, too. "OH! You have three girls?!?!"

Um yeah, that's right. and then I move away from the cart and this not-so-bright woman (probably in her 30s....but believe me, I think her brain cells were few and far in between) says:

"And you're having another one! Wow! What are they a year apart or something?"

Me: "Um, about 20 months or so" and go back to emptying my cart. Becoming very, very annoyed after the influx of stupidity in people I am experiencing today.

"Oh wow. Good for you. Are you having a boy? Because if you are, then you can stop right there and no need to keep trying!"

Was that lady for real? Do people really, really think that we would keep having children until we "got our boy" or do people ever think that there are some people in this world would be happy with either a BOY or a GIRL???

I wish I could stop there, but the lady kept going on and on. The cashier was even rolling her eyes (who is usually our cashier every Monday). The cashier would try to talk to me, and the annoying lady would keep interrupting with the stupidest of comments.

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but is it me, or are these people lacking some serious brain cells???

The Baby Getter-Outer

I've spoken before how our oldest, Mairead is very interested in the body, especially when it comes to pregnancy and babies. She's a girl after my own heart!

The other day, I asked the girls what they wanted to be when they grew up. Mairead's response:

"A doctor"

Me: "What kind of doctor?"

Mairead: "A baby-getter-outer type doctor"

I chuckled! How could you not?

(She even told my OB this the other day, and told her that she wanted to learn about getting babies out)

She then went on to talk about birth and how she wanted to see her baby brother be born. It isn't the first time she's asked about this. It's a tough call, and not a tough call because she couldn't handle it, but a tough call because it is going to take an extra person to be with just Mairead during the delivery.

She has watched her birth videos countless times in awe and asks amazingly appropriate questions afterwards. She loves 'A baby story' on TLC and knows having a baby hurts and some mommies cry, scream and yell. We've talked a great deal about childbirth, so I am certain she would most likely do just fine. I know how I have dealt with childbirth in the past, and know if she were to come in the room during the last few minutes, she would probably be awe struck and be okay.

I've been spending the last few days trying to plan out how it will work out - who will watch the girls, will there be someone extra around so Mairead and my mother can be present, too. It's a lot of planning, but I am confident if the situation goes as "smoothly" as it has with the previous three, we should be able to pull it off with the help and support of our family and friends. Not only have I needed to plan for someone to help, but I have had to start preparing Mairead for the birth if she were to make it. A friend of mine sent me this link, and it provided a lot of great resources. Some days I wish I could have a home birth...

It is a decision that will most likely come at the last minute depending on how the situation presents itself. Chances are it won't work out, and if it does, I hope it bodes to be an unforgettable memory for her watching her baby brother come into this world.

I just have to add another question from Mairead today:

"When babies come out, do they just rip a hole in your pants?" :)

It's going to happen. Again.

Wow. This is all becoming too real for me. You know, the whole giving birth part. I can't believe I am going to have to push another baby out of me in just a few short weeks. I think about my experiences with the girls and they have all been really, really great, but you know, pushing a baby out of there is never a whole lot of fun no matter how quick and easy it may seem. Especially when you don't use drugs. Yeah, why do I do that again??? and again? and again? 

With all three girls I have elected to have them naturally. No medications. No epidural. Nada. I am planning on doing it again. My head keeps flashing back to one particular photograph my sister in law took during Clara's birth. My face looks like I am in hell. I really don't want to go back there again! I guess that is why they call it 'the ring of fire'!

I have not gone into labor on my own - they have never allowed me to get that far. I tend to dilate pretty much painlessly, and each time I've gone in to get checked, I've been 5-6cm, so of course, they don't let me go home, they break my water, and voila! An hour or two later, I have a baby. It's been a pretty good gig, and I assume it will happen similarly with this kid. My labor is pretty easy once they break my water, but pushing........oh god, I hate pushing. I think it was especially worse with Clara because she was our biggest baby at 7lbs (at 36w2d!!!), a pound MORE exactly than Lilah (6lbs), our second born...she hurt me. But, once they are born, I feel amazing. And since I pushed for only 10 minutes with Clara, I guess I shouldn't be able to complain...too much. Giving birth is invigorating, no really, it is!


It's funny because people say that you tend to forget all about the pains of childbirth after your first child, and that is what makes you want to do it again....I'd say that rings true for your second - you are just so in to having your baby....your first baby, and you don't know what to expect for yourself. But what about your third? your fourth? No way. There is no amnesia goin' on in my mind right now. I remember pleading with my OB during Clara's delivery to "just cut me" and get her out. I remember feeling like she was never going to come out. It seemed like an eternity even though it was only 10 minutes. Ha!

Even thinking about having our fourth child I still wonder if this labor and delivery will be like the first three. I pray it is. It couldn't go any better as far as childbirth is concerned. I love the fact that my body knows what to do, and as long as I listen to my body, let it do its job, then everything will go just as it should. Making sure I stay in control mentally is the most important part in childbirth, at least for me. Thankfully, when I asked Kevin what I have been like during childbirth, he says I am not a screamer and that I am focused and possessed. Ah, that sounds about right...

I think about meeting our newest little sweetheart and it makes it all worth it in the end...that's why I keep doing it, right? :)

Tomorrow, I have an ultrasound, which will most likely be my last. My cerclage removal is set for April 4th if all continues to go as planned.....less than two weeks ago. Absolutely Insane.

Ahhhhh.....A taste of spring!

Clara eating dirty snow...and standing in 2'' of water.

Ahhhhhhh.......The feeling of warm sunshine, the sounds of happy girls and three tired girls upstairs resting/napping are just a few things that make me excited for more days like these to come. 

It is a warm, 70 degrees here on this March day in Maine. It's a bit windy, but because our backyard is surrounded by trees, it's like being protected from the cool winds off the ocean, so our backyard was almost HOT...it felt amazing. After lunch, the girls threw on their mud boots and went to town. They splashed. They laughed. They got down and dirty. And this mamma had a great time just watching them play. 

Clara splashed around. Sat in mud/water puddles. And the girls just ran around until their little bottoms were cold! It's so great to know the snow is melting and the girls will have more and more days to play outside! Do you remember the BIG mountain Kevin made in the dead of winter? Well, it's still there, and I think it will be there for a long time....so while spring may be here soon, the girls will be able to sled for a while - maybe in their bathing suits! :)

It was so bright, Mairead had to wear sunglasses! 

Little Lilah splashing around

Three happy, happy girls...

...and a dirty, mud-faced Clara! 

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

This prego mamma has no green to wear that fits appropriately, so the girls thought this was a great alternative! I thought it was, too!

Mairead's preschool teacher snapped this shot of me and Clara! I love it :) 

Shingles? & More Due Date SAGA! Cerclage removal.........

Ahhhhhh....mornings like these make my head spin! Fast.

I had a regularly scheduled OB appointment with my favorite OB. She's awesome. My age and actually knew a lady I used to work with. Any-who, I was glad to see her because I wanted to talk to her about delivering me.

Well, last week I tested positive for strep throat - It's been a rough month for sickness for me. I am not a sick person.....never sick, but with colds, strep and a stomach bug, I'm over it. On Sunday, I developed (you may want to stop reading here if you're squeamish) a rash on my.....arss. A small one, but it packed a decent amount of punch. A burny (is that a word???) itchy sensation. I figured I'd see my doc on Wednesday and as long as it didn't get worse, I'd just deal with it. On Monday, it was better. Then last night, I felt another (smaller) spot on my......ummmmm....ass. On my butt cheek. Same look. Same feel. So today, I had my OB look at it. She did some viral/bacterial cultures on it and thought it could be bacterial and prescribed meds. She told me to try and get in with my regular doc today to take a closer look at it just to be sure.

She checked my cervix and I am still 1cm/50%. Her comment "OH MY. His head is right there!!!" - Yeah, I know. Believe me. She talked about the potential of doing some steriods for the baby's lungs, but, for now, we will hang tight since there aren't any changes. I asked her if she could "special" me, meaning, have her deliver me. At first, she was apprehensive because she has a small infant, but once we talked about my "history", she said she'd schedule the cerclage herself and plan it that way....Awesome. Looks like she'll probably deliver him!

Overall, a decent appointment.

Then, as if one appointment wasn't enough, I made my way to my regular doctors office to have my arss looked at. Thankfully, they took me right in and Kevin met me there, too, to help with the girls. He took one look at it and said it looked viral to him, more like shingles! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, he did more cultures, consulted with OB and said not to take antibiotics, but to take an anti-viral. I just can't help but think this isn't shingles.....I asked the doc why I wasn't in pain and he said it was probably a mild case. Great. This is just great. I just hope the cultures come back as nothing.....or not shingles or anything like that!

As if that wasn't enough drama for my little morning, I get a call from my OB asking me what was going on about my due date. I laughed at her. She was the only doc I hadn't pleaded my case to. You can read about my Due Date Debate or other posts. She was like "but he is measuring according to your dates consistently from 9 weeks!" - and I laughed and said "Yes, but no one has listened to me, and I gave up." - She said she looked through every single ultrasound report and said that my baby was NOT 12 days behind my LMP, and was going to go by my LMP/Ultrasound dates.........So what the heck does that mean??????????

She is scheduling my cerclage for APRIL 4th!!!!!!! Not April 11th!!!!! ONE WEEK EARLY. She is changing my due date, which means, I am 33w1 DAY........NOT 32w1D by me........and NOT 31w4d by the other docs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew. I'm exhausted just writing about it. So, all before 130pm, this has been my day.

I know I am big and pregnant when...

1. Even maternity clothes are too small and I refer to the clothes that do "fit" as "big girl" clothes.
2. My belly hangs out at the bottom of shirts no matter how hard I try to keep my shirts down.
3. I avoid laughing in public because I am afraid I may wet myself.
4. I start dreaming about wearing the mesh underpants after you have a baby because secretly, they really are pretty comfortable.
5. I feel as though I am carrying a bowling ball between my legs.
6. I forget thoughts mid sentence or people start looking at me funny because I totally don't make sense when I do talk.
7. I avoid yelling at my kids because I am afraid I may wet myself.
8. my kids tell me "that" shirt is getting too small for me...as if I didn't already know.
9. I think vacuuming and washing the floors is a lot of fun.
10. I can go from sweet to bitchy in 0-60 seconds.....oh wait, that's even when I'm not pregnant! ;)

Hmmmmmm.....Anything else I can add?

Under Pressure

My cervix that is...

The last week I swear the baby has piled on weight and really dug himself far, far down into my pelvis (I swear, he's right there just waiting...). Those two things have really started making things uncomfortable at times, along with the increased cramping.

Tomorrow, I am 32 weeks pregnant and I honestly do not remember the pressure being this uncomfortable so often throughout the day at this point - maybe it was, and maybe all my pregnancies are just running together, but one thing is for certain - it definitely makes me a little worried about how much more uncomfortable things can/will get.

I am sure the pressure and cramping with a 4th pregnancy is probably pretty normal at this stage, but throw in a cerclage and it just makes it worse. The tension placed on my cervix is just uncomfortable - throbbing, like my cervix wants to open on up. Add on a 23lb toddler who needs to be carried, lifted out of cars, carts, etc, and it just doesn't help - thankfully, she's in a toddler bed, so I don't have to lift her in and out of cribs.

So, for now, I'll just try and be good, and think that no bleeding means I am not dilating any more than I am now.  Next OB appointment is Wednesday...we'll see!

MAKE-UP

It's no joke. Our girls are girly girls! And I love it!

When our good friend gave Lilah a make-up kit for her 3rd birthday you could almost see the drool coming out of Lilah's mouth. I'll be honest, I cringed when I saw the gift, but it really isn't too messy, and the girls really enjoy it!

Since were hopefully in the tail end of winter (Please, God....make it stop), I am running out of indoor ideas with the girls, so this was a big hit one day!

Of course Lilah had to give a little tutorial on how to put on eye make-up!

First, apply to eye-lids - no mirror needed! 

Make sure you get it in the right spot, it's okay if you miss and put it on your forehead.

Voila! The end result...Pure beauty

Needle in a haystack....a BIG haystack.

I admit. I'm picky.

And I'm probably even pickier when I don't want to do something. Like move.

We've known we would be moving to the DC area for a little over a week now. It hasn't sunk in, we haven't quite accepted it, but we've tried to research and prepare on the when, where and how and all that crap.

I think we are setting ourselves up for disappointment though (wait, I'll stop fooling myself...we're already disappointed). Let's just say housing in this area is not cheap and for our needs - and we have a lot of them, they are downright expensive.

Call us high maintenance, but with four children and two large dogs, we will need 4 bedrooms, a spacious yard, family friendly neighborhood, a house that accepts two dogs, great schools (so if we choose not to homeschool, we will know our children will go to a good school) and probably the biggest hurdle, a three year lease....Oh yeah, and we don't want to move until July/August. Oh, and another thing, the house can't be a dump. Oh, wait.....a commute that won't kill my husband? You know, less than an hour? I know, that's asking a lot for the DC area. Didn't you know they were just rated to have the 4th worst, yes, worst traffic in the country. Think my list is too long? Yeah, so what if my list keeps growing? I already admitted I am picky!

We've already had one realtor tell us we probably will not find what we are looking for, especially looking for a long-term lease, but come on, I do not want to move more than once while we are in DC!!! This particular realtor suggests we buy.......Um, no. Purchasing a home is out of the question unless we want to spend more than $500-600K++ and let's be real, we don't have that kind of cash, and we are not planning on selling our current home here in Maine. So, renting it is.

We've been told to look in Maryland. We found a nice sounding place that sounds too good to be true (Calvert County Maryland for anyone familiar with the area) - there are beaches! Ah, that word is like music to my ears...but, of course, it would be too easy to have it all, so what would we have to give up? Shopping! And this girl loves to shop. Packing up four children for a 30-40 minute drive to a mall or better yet, Target! would be pretty dreadful...what would I do without a quick trip to Target??? So......is it the metropolitan area with great shopping, pools, expensive housing, fairly good schools and everything to do.....or living out in the country, with beaches, good schools, a lifestyle that is more our pace and no shopping. I guess I never realized how here in Maine we do have it all - beautiful family living, great schools, awesome shopping, awesome restaurants, beaches.......Oh, and a house we love :)

So, for now, we are searching for that needle in a haystack. A house that will suit our needs and make us feel a little more at home. Are you out there?

31 week bumpity bump - have you seen my mind?

Sometimes, being pregnant is almost like losing your mind and the more kids you have, the more mind loss there is - at least that is how it has felt lately!

It's hard to believe I will be 31 weeks tomorrow. Seriously? How did that happen? This feels like the first baby that I am not prepared for and how it might be better for him to just stay in for......well, a long time. In about five weeks, I will be getting my cervical cerclage removed (maybe I should keep it in?), and for Clara, it only took her two days for her to show her pretty little face. So, in essence, this little prince could be here in as little as 5 weeks.....5 weeks! That's like ONE month. That is NOT a lot of time people.

Last Thursday, I had an OB appointment with the doc who delivered Clara. She rocks! She is so laid back and nice - and unfortunately, she doesn't do deliveries anymore. What a bummer! She rechecked my cervix and thankfully I am still the same (1cm/50%) and other than that, everything was fine. A typically boring OB appointment - I guess boring is good!

As I become more and more pregnant, while chasing around three crazy kids, I find myself doing crazy things. For example...today, we had a big dinner at my parents house to celebrate my dads birthday. For dinner, we let the kids choose, Mairead chose PB&Fluff and the other two had chicken nuggets with mac/cheese.

Well, here's Mairead, fooling around, getting out of her seat. I tell her to get back in her seat. Eat your dinner. Then, she's screwing off again! So, I raise my voice, and say SIT DOWN! And EAT YOUR DINNER!

Then, I look down on the counter, and there sits her dinner. I forgot to give her the plate. Yeah. She had every reason to be fooling around!

I had the intention of writing some other "losing your mind" stories, but.........I forgot. HA!

Oh, and here I am today at just about 31 weeks pregnant....I guess it's about time I post a baby bump shot!

I'll have to post a comparison of all four pregnancies at this stage to see if there are any differences. I feel as though I am carrying the same as with the others.

PS - I just spoke with my husband and he said he read this blog post, and said I typed we had dinner at my parents.......No. We didn't. We had lunch. :) See...I'm definitely not all there!

Longing for...

Dingy...little n@ked girls running outside

Sandy little hands & feet

Sand angels instead of snow angels...

 warm summer nights at the beach....

and a little Lobstering out in Casco Bay...

Ohhhhhhh.......New England, how I love you so....

Interrupted showers...

Most often, I shower with one or all three of our girls. Some days, it's the only way I can ensure a shower and to be honest, it's just easier - I know where they are, especially Clara. Tonight I wasn't feeling so hot - sore throat, stiff neck, head ache, and since Mairead had school this morning, I didn't shower. After dinner, I headed upstairs for what I thought was going to be a solo, quiet shower.

I washed my hair. In peace.
I conditioned my hair. In peace.
I washed up. In peace.
I shaved without bumping or tripping over multiple little bodies fighting for a spot under the water.

As I stood there enjoying the peace and quiet, thinking of how nice it was to take a shower alone, I hear the pitter patter of little feet. I look around the corner and breathe a sigh of relief.

Ah, the door is shut. At least one little munchkin I knew couldn't come in.

Then, all of a sudden, a little body evades my shower. "Hi Mommy!" says Mairead.

Then, a second little naked body. There's little Clara.

Then Lilah, what a lucky mamma with all three of her girls in the shower with me. Joy!

Just as I was ready to get out, Mairead started asking questions about babies and birth.

Uh oh. You see, Mairead is quite intelligent, and doesn't miss a thing. I don't hide too much about pregnancy and childbirth. She comes to a lot of my prenatal appointments, so is very used to this whole pregnancy thing.

She starts to bombard me with questions like....... "what happens if the baby is too big and the doctor can't get the baby out?".............and "do you bleed a lot when you have a baby"............. "does the doctor put band-aids on the places you bleed?".............."do you have to stay in bed?"

I answer her truthfully, yet appropriately. I tell her the doctors aren't usually the ones who get the babies out. The mommies are the ones who do it, and the doctors sometimes help - our bodies are made to have babies when we get older like mommy. I also mentioned some babies cannot come out of their mothers bottoms (sometimes they are too big for their mommies or sometimes the baby is sick or not head down) and doctors have to do a c-section. I gave very basic, limited details. A small cut in the mothers belly (showed her where) and the doctor can get the baby. She was happy with that explanation. And amazed me later on with the comprehension of the conversation.

She was worried about the pain while having a baby. I told her that some people, like mommy, have babies without medicine for the pain because they have babies very fast, but some people can get medicine so they don't feel anything at all. And that when mommies bleed after having a baby is normal and it isn't a lot of blood - okay, maybe a little bit of a white lie, but she didn't need to know that there can be a lot of blood and goop.

My little girl asking these big girl questions. Wow. I never want her to feel funny or afraid to talk to me about this sort of stuff, I hope this sort of paves the way for when we have to have the "big girl" talks down the road, and please....oh please, let it be really, really far down the road!