Sunday, June 17, 2012


I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of hearing all about Time magazines "Mom Enough" article. I mean, who cares. And why does the press feel the need to promote all sorts of hoopla between moms over breastfeeding? I don't get it. Let people do what they want. If someone wants to nurse their child until they're 10, let them, and if someone chooses not to breastfeed their child at all, well, that's their decision, too.

There shouldn't be any competitiveness between moms over how long you nursed or if you didn't, or how involved in attachment parenting you are. WHO CARES. Or if you co-sleep, or cloth diaper, or baby wear, or if you do all of those things or none of those things. What is important is that the child is loved and cared for, being raised to be a good citizen in society.

Do I think those who do not nurse are missing out on a special bond between mother and baby. Yes. But do I think those moms are bad moms? No. Or do I think I am a better mom than she just because I nursed my babies or nursed them longer? Hell no. It's not my business to tell a mother she's a bad mom because she didn't nurse at all or nurse as long as I did, or that because I don't nurse my baby or toddler on a stool, or until he's 4 that I am not mom enough. Nursing our babies for 2+ years is a personal choice that a mother makes based soley on her child.

And why must breastfeeding be portrayed as this weird thing that some moms do with their babies? or talking endlessly about how military moms breastfeed with their uniform on. Why is this such a big deal? Why, why, WHY??? Instead, people should be portraying the amazing experience for the mom and baby and/or toddler...or the amazing health benefits...and even the great experiences moms have who are nursing an older infant or child.

I think about Clara, who is 2.5 and still nurses before bed on most nights. Just the way she asks for it melts my heart. I couldn't imagine missing out on this experience because nursing our girls into toddlerhood has given me some amazing memories. I think nursing a toddler is almost better than nursing an infant. It's almost like true love. They just love to nurse. And watching the excitement on their face is just awesome. There are no distractions for the toddler like during infant-hood, and there is no stress on whether or not your baby is getting enough or gaining weight. It's almost  pure enjoyment. But that's me. Extended nursing is not for everyone. And just because you choose not to nurse past one doesn't mean you've missed out on any worthwhile experiences because that is just not it.

So forgive me. I just do not understand where society gets off calling nursing gross or weird. Mothers all over the world outside of the United States nurse well into toddlerhood. And some could argue that they nurse because of limited food sources, etc, and while that may play a part, I still think those mammas would say such a statement is lacking in the understanding of the all around experience. Of course, there are nutritional benefits, but that is just a very small part of the decision to continue nursing past one.

It's not gross people. But I honestly do not think plastering a photograph of a kid in a weird, unnatural position on the cover of a magazine is a way to gain more acceptance of breastfeeding in society. I understand what the magazine was trying to do, I do, but I also think it was done in poor taste that only sparked controversy and made extended nursing and attachment parenting seem even more weird. 

So yes. I am Mom Enough but I am not Mom Enough because I choose to nurse our children past one. I am Mom Enough for so many more reasons. Attachment parent or not. We are all mom enough in our own way. Articles like these only further the gap between moms. Let's stop talking about being Mom Enough and start being Supportive enough to make each mom feel like a success rather than a failure.


  1. I think your last paragraph says it all. Thank you. I did not like the cover of Time magazine because it did portray breast feeding as weird or gross; instead of something that is intimate, full of love and devotion, emotional, bonding, etc.
    I wonder about that boy. How his friends will treat him when he is going through puberty...or older. I do not take issue with her breastfeeding her son at his age, but I do think it was selfish of her to put his face (at her breast) on the front cover of a national magazine.

  2. I didn't read the article, although I couldn't help but see the cover since it's plastered everywhere. I agree with the previous post and I too wondered why on earth you would agree to be photographed doing something so intimate and personal when you KNEW it would cover a magazine that would be getting lots of controversial attention. I get it, you're proud to do extended nursing...and if you want photos of you and your child during this stage of your nursing, then by all means, take them and share them and save them as you will...but do you really want to put your child on the cover of a national magazine like that? /shaking head I have no problem with the fact she wants to nurse that long, but I am a little weirded out with the fact she wanted to be on a cover of Time doing it.

    It took me a while to figure this out, but the best thing you can do for your kids is take care of yourself. If you are nursing and staying home with your kids, and you are completely miserable...then it's no good. I have friends who say they are a better mom if they're working and I can see that, their work life gives them so much and having that fulfillment in their lives allows them to give their kids so much more. I had friends who chose to bottle feed, being "the milk lady" was exhausting and they were sleep-deprived and unhappy, and so by all means...take care of yourself so that you can take care of your kids. It's the old "put the oxygen mask on yourself first if the plane is going down". There's no shame or defeat in the fact that nursing or staying home full time doesn't work for you. Heck, there are days I have felt guilt because I don't think I could juggle a job and my kids and I marvel at the moms who can. There are days I really miss my job, but I know that personally I couldn't do both, so I gave up a job I loved and it was the best decision for me.

    I have to say that I've also noticed that the only people who call extended BFing gross or weird are the ones who haven't done it, lol. It's hard to really take someone's opinion on something, especially a very strong opinion, if it's something they have zero experience with.


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