Monday, July 26, 2010

'She' is Heeeeeeere. What next?

No! Not what you're thinking! My period that is. Today, I got my first period since before I was pregnant with Clara. I knew it was coming. I could just tell. Then, this morning, I woke up, and sure enough....ugh. Definitely not excited. It had been since JANUARY 2009 that I had a cycle...the longest I have ever gone without. So, I shouldn't complain that much, plus, it will be nice to see what's going on with my body.

After I gave birth to Mairead, my period returned at 11 weeks post partum. And yes, I was exclusively breastfeeding! I was pissed. I thought one of the perks of nursing was no period? Boy, I was so wrong. Not to mention, my period was awful. Heavy. Long and irregular. The complete opposite of what it was pre-kids. I remember being on vacation in the Outer Banks with friends when Mairead was 4 months old, and my period decided to show only 22 days into my cycle....and it was awful. I remember bleeding all over the place (aren't you glad you are reading my blog???) and having to change tampons behind a towel. It sucked!!!!

With Lilah, I had expected to get it early, too.....but I didn't. I was 8 months post partum with her. It wasn't as bad of an experience this time around. A little more 'normal'. I only had several cycles after her since I got pregnant when she was 13 months old.

Any who...if you can figure it out, three kids. In 3.5 years. All 19-21 months apart. Doesn't take a whole hell of a lot to get pregnant, not to mention, I am still nursing when I become pregnant. So, I am still assuming I am what you call a fertile myrtle. So. That begs the question. Will there be #4? I've said an almost confident yes for a while. Kevin says "If you came home today and said you were done, I'd say Thank You, God!" - so, I guess that means he's "done". We are both in agreement over one thing though...if we do decide to go for a fourth child, it would have to be now or never.

You see, we'd prefer not to have what I call a straggler. We have three kids, all the same age difference apart and we'd want the same for the next. Kevin is almost 36 and I am 31. We want to be young parents. When we're done, we want to be done with the baby stage, not in and out and back in again. We don't want to wait a few years down the road and decide, so it will either be now or never. I am in 100% agreement with that.

So, I don't know. I don't feel as though I am 100% ready for another, but I also feel as though there is someone missing. I don't even care if it is a boy or a girl. Just healthy. A boy would be fantabulous - a wonderful change! but, a girl would be great too...all girls - I can continue saying "C'Mon Girls! Let's go" and that's a blanket statement for everyone....including the dogs. How great!!! There is something about odd numbers. I hate leaving anyone out, and with odd numbers, there is always someone left out. When you go out to dinner and you say 5, they seat you at a table that holds 6....when you buy tickets to a game or concert,  people usually sell even numbered items (2, 4, 6.... seats). See where I am going? Kevin thinks I am nuts. He just sees $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ signs. I am a woman, and therefore, I do not. I am just not able to say I feel complete.

Of course, there is a piece inside of me that says....should we be done? Are we done? Life is starting to get easy again. Easy to leave the kids with sitters or family. I am enjoying adult beverages.

...but, I am a lover of children. I have always wanted a bunch. So, Kevin and I need to decide what we are going to do. Jump in again. Or get comfortable with three beautiful girls. I guess we should decide soon!


  1. I had Aunt Flo visit 6 weeks after I had Aiden while breastfeeding. Not pleased. Same thing with Nathan, and then I had the Mirena put in so I have two itsy bitsy periods each year. I prefer it that way!
    And the kids thing, I know EXACTLY what you mean when you feel like there's just someone missing. I don't know if guys quite understand that feeling. I felt that way when I knew it was time to try for Nathan. But I haven't felt that way since he was born. I'm taking that as my sign that we're good with two. The only thing nagging at me is that girl's name that I always wanted to use...

  2. I hear ya! I definately think someone is missing for us!

  3. We have talked a lot about this lately that I know you know you speak directly to my heart with this one. I have to say, I am one of those blessed women that does not get a period until I am done nursing or pretty close to it. I would love to see an end to them all together.
    We just had a talk about this last night.....I think we are done. We do not want a straggler either and this is by far the longest between children we have gone. I do have that "someones missing" feeling, but it is intertwined with an immense joy for the 3 girls we have. Not an easy decision to make.
    Much love....

  4. I hear ya Steph! From one fertile myrtle to another ;) Kevin would have ten kids if he could. Four has always been my Magic number, the only thing that Holds me back at times is Kevin's health and the very real possibility of raising my children alone. And I know all too well about the Straggler thing, Kevin and I were both Stragglers by about 7 yrs, and we are both in agreement about never doing that to our kids. So we've been having this conversation as well. To snip or not to snip.


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