No! Not what you're thinking! My period that is. Today, I got my first period since before I was pregnant with Clara. I knew it was coming. I could just tell. Then, this morning, I woke up, and sure enough....ugh. Definitely not excited. It had been since JANUARY 2009 that I had a cycle...the longest I have ever gone without. So, I shouldn't complain that much, plus, it will be nice to see what's going on with my body.
After I gave birth to Mairead, my period returned at 11 weeks post partum. And yes, I was exclusively breastfeeding! I was pissed. I thought one of the perks of nursing was no period? Boy, I was so wrong. Not to mention, my period was awful. Heavy. Long and irregular. The complete opposite of what it was pre-kids. I remember being on vacation in the Outer Banks with friends when Mairead was 4 months old, and my period decided to show only 22 days into my cycle....and it was awful. I remember bleeding all over the place (aren't you glad you are reading my blog???) and having to change tampons behind a towel. It sucked!!!!
With Lilah, I had expected to get it early, too.....but I didn't. I was 8 months post partum with her. It wasn't as bad of an experience this time around. A little more 'normal'. I only had several cycles after her since I got pregnant when she was 13 months old.
Any who...if you can figure it out, three kids. In 3.5 years. All 19-21 months apart. Doesn't take a whole hell of a lot to get pregnant, not to mention, I am still nursing when I become pregnant. So, I am still assuming I am what you call a fertile myrtle. So. That begs the question. Will there be #4? I've said an almost confident yes for a while. Kevin says "If you came home today and said you were done, I'd say Thank You, God!" - so, I guess that means he's "done". We are both in agreement over one thing though...if we do decide to go for a fourth child, it would have to be now or never.
You see, we'd prefer not to have what I call a straggler. We have three kids, all the same age difference apart and we'd want the same for the next. Kevin is almost 36 and I am 31. We want to be young parents. When we're done, we want to be done with the baby stage, not in and out and back in again. We don't want to wait a few years down the road and decide, so it will either be now or never. I am in 100% agreement with that.
So, I don't know. I don't feel as though I am 100% ready for another, but I also feel as though there is someone missing. I don't even care if it is a boy or a girl. Just healthy. A boy would be fantabulous - a wonderful change! but, a girl would be great too...all girls - I can continue saying "C'Mon Girls! Let's go" and that's a blanket statement for everyone....including the dogs. How great!!! There is something about odd numbers. I hate leaving anyone out, and with odd numbers, there is always someone left out. When you go out to dinner and you say 5, they seat you at a table that holds 6....when you buy tickets to a game or concert, people usually sell even numbered items (2, 4, 6.... seats). See where I am going? Kevin thinks I am nuts. He just sees $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ signs. I am a woman, and therefore, I do not. I am just not able to say I feel complete.
Of course, there is a piece inside of me that says....should we be done? Are we done? Life is starting to get easy again. Easy to leave the kids with sitters or family. I am enjoying adult beverages.
...but, I am a lover of children. I have always wanted a bunch. So, Kevin and I need to decide what we are going to do. Jump in again. Or get comfortable with three beautiful girls. I guess we should decide soon!