Tonight, we enjoyed our last dinner as a family for the next 30 days. It is sad. I don't like to think about having to say good-bye to my husband tomorrow. I hate saying good-bye. It has been a very emotional last few days, and I am so ready to feel normal again...
Today was the first time Mairead showed any emotion or understanding of Kevin leaving. Earlier on in the day, Mairead said to Kevin "Daddy are you leaving tomorrow?" and Kevin responded, "yes" and Mairead says: "Why, why do you have to go? I don't want you to go away for a long time". So very heartbreaking for the both of us to hear. I mean, what do you say to that? Later in the day, Kevin left to go get a few things at work during the girls rest. When Mairead realized Kevin was gone, she got upset. It was really tough for me. She kept saying how she didn't want her daddy to leave. I explained to her that mommy would be here for her always and wouldn't leave her. I told her we were going to have lots of fun together. I comforted her the best I could. It was a tough moment for the both of us, but, overall, it went as well as could be expected. She's 4. I can't imagine the confusion going on in her pretty little head.
Even though today started off fairly tough, it ended on a fairly positive note. For the first time in days, Kevin and I received some positive news. It's been a tough few days here at the Ferrie household and positive news was just what we needed to end the day on a more positive note.
When we first heard about Kevin going south, it was going to be for 60 long days. Thinking about 60 days was unimaginable. I couldn't even process that. Today, we received confirmation Kevin would be going for 30 days. I can do 30 days. When we first heard people were heading down to the gulf, the deployments were 30 days. I told Kevin back then I could handle 30. It would be tough, but I could surely do it. 60 days would be another story. So tonight, I feel the most optimistic I have felt in days. And it feels good.
So, I just have to make it until the 17th of September. We have lots of things planned to get us through the next thirty days - lobstering, sleepovers, visitors and fun trips. I have had so many offerings of help and support, and I know that will help things go a lot easier, too. Our high school babysitter (who is also our neighbor) has graciously accepted to help us 20-30 hours a week until she goes back to school. She'll come on some mornings and on most evenings to help with dinner and bedtime. She'll come on some outings with me. She'll give me the time to have some one-on-one time with each of the girls. My parents will take the girls for the next two Fridays and take them overnight. The girls will love that so much! I also have someone to come and clean our house once a week, so that will help a lot. I feel fairly organized so far, and I hope it stays that way.