Thursday, March 25, 2010

Is it worth the fight?

The long and short of it is......we're still fighting with Clara's sleep.

Before we left Florida, Clara's sleep started to go downhill. Unfortunately, since we were going to Florida, we couldn't do anything about it until we got back from our trip. So, we dealt with it. While we were in Florida......which reminds me, I still have to blog about our trip. I'm in the midst of editing and going through photos. Lots of them. Ok....back to what I was saying...while we were in Florida, Clara absolutely refused to sleep in the pack in play at night. It surely wasn't worth the fight, so into our bed she came. Every night Clara slept with us from start to finish. She was snuggled all cozy coze in my boobies, and she was happy as a pig in.......

Of course, when we get back from Florida, Clara's sleep habits were way worse than they were before we left. Let me tell you...we surely have paid for it. The first few nights back home, she was up every hour. Would you believe me if I told you she slept better as a newborn than she did as a 6 month old infant? Well, she has.

Anyways, sleep is one of those issues where everyone has their opinion about how sleep should be managed with infants. If I feel inclined, I may ask friends what they did, but I usually keep my thoughts to myself. Why? Well, I choose not to let our children "cry it out". I don't do ferber. I believe in teaching my children to sleep over time. I am not looking for an overnight solution, and while that may mean weeks or months of interrupted sleep, or even more, I am okay with that....on most days. I will be honest with you though. Me not believing in letting my children crying it out does not mean my children do not cry in their crib. I will let them fuss for a few minutes, but once they get going, I will go to them. I may let them cry in their crib while I pat their back, but I just can't leave them to cry on their own for more than a few minutes. Having a video monitor helps me tell if  I need to go to them, or not. It was worth every penny to have that thing!

Don't get me wrong. Me not believing in ferber does not mean that it doesn't work, or it shouldn't be done, it just means it's not for me. I just can't do it. I hate to cry for longer periods of time. I feel like crap. I get a headache, my eyes are puffy, my nose is stuffed up, and I just feel yucky. I just don't want my children to feel like that.

With Clara, she is different. Tonight, I came up with the nickname of 'Clingy Clara' - she's not a clingy baby, but she is definitely attached. She loves to be with you. Near you. Touching you. All snuggled up. I think that's her problem - if you want to call it a problem. She is going through some sort of separation issues at night, and I have come to think she may not be ready to be on her own yet. She was born 4 weeks early, and I am thinking she may be a bit immature. She is back to sleeping in our room again. Her crying and frequent waking at night was tough on everyone. Me & Kevin having to get up out of bed every hour. Having to watch Mairead stir, toss & turn while Clara cries. It's not fair for Mairead to be interrupted every night, all night. So, back to our room she goes. All I ask is that she does the first part of the night in her own space, just like she has done since she was a little, little. Co-sleeping is not the most comfortable thing. I am in the same position for hours, and it hurts in the morning. So, coming in after 2am, is ideal...then I still have some time to myself.

I have hope for Clara. Both Mairead & Lilah had difficulty sleeping from 4-6 months, and they are both good/great sleepers now. They sleep in their own bed. In their own room. No tears. We're all happy. We just had to find what worked for each girl.

I am willing to give Clara time, and help her learn to sleep, even if it means more mommy time. They are only this little for such a short period of time. I need to learn to enjoy the time she wants to be close with me. So, I guess the answer to my question is....No. It isn't worth the fight. Why would I want to pick a fight with a 6 month old. I don't believe she is old enough to manipulate me. She is little, and still dependent on me and her daddy. And that is okay. We will worry about the so-called bad habits later when she is bigger and able to understand a bit more.


  1. Not worth the fight! I am not a kids in my bed kinda girl, I like my space. But if you are sleeping, she is sleeping, and everyone else is sleeping...go for it. I think it was you who said something to me about letting baby just sleep in the swing. I was a worried mom about Paige sleeping in the swing, thought she would never sleep in her bed. Well you said to me that she will at some point in time sleep in her bed, so Emalee slept in her swing for naps and bed FOREVER! She just liked it better. She is much easier for naps and bed then Paige ever was! So nope not worth the fight!

  2. My rule is: you must go to sleep in your own space, but then I allow our kids to come in (usually around 4).....but Clara has been waking at midnight! Tough.

    We're back to swaddling, and she's much happier that way...sleeping 3/4 hours, instead of 1/2. I'll take it.

    My philosophy is...teach them to sleep first, then worry about the problem (swing, swaddle, etc).

    Thanks for keeping me in check, LB!

  3. We don't fight it. We like to sleep with our girls. Now that I am getting further along in my pregnancy though I am having a tough time being comfortable, so sometimes I will sneak off and sleep in their queen bed. It's kindof nice to have that giant bed all to myself ;)

  4. It made me laugh to see you call her Clingy Clara. We have called the boys Cling 1 and Cling 2 for quite some time now...a name my sister came up with that stuck (because its so appropriate)!


Have a COMMENT or QUESTION? Leave one here!