Wednesday, February 2, 2011

You must be relieved.

I've been hearing this comment a lot lately, and to be honest, it annoys me.

You must be relieved. 

When trekking through a store or restaurant or public place with our three little ladies, and people notice I am pregnant, complete strangers have no problem saying things like...

Is it a boy??? 
I hope it's a boy??? 
Oh! Wow! Three girls!?! Hope the next one is a boy!" 

I'll respond politely, which, I'll be honest, it's getting harder and harder to be polite the more pregnant I get, and say "Yes, it's a boy" or something like that.

It's funny because people, even those I know, think that I/we are relieved to be having a the only reason why we had another baby was to have a boy. 

The truth is, I am not relieved it is a boy. I am relieved he is healthy. 

To be perfectly honest, at this point, a girl would have been just as welcomed, and actually easier. Nothing to buy. Nada...just a little bit of a clothes shuffle, and bam! all ready for the new babe...not with a boy though, at least not for me. I can't/won't wrap him or dress him in pink! But that's just me... I wouldn't say I am disappointed he is a boy...but sometimes I feel like I am. All I have to do is remind myself about what matters - that he is born healthy and here with us. Then, I feel better.

I find myself wondering where to start. He needs clothes and he needs a few things - particularly a name! 

Boys names are just tough, and I find there are a ton of names out there, but they are either very traditional, like John or James or way out there like Jett or something a little too radical for us. We have three girls with names that are in the middle of the road, maybe a bit on the different side, and I need a boys name like that, too...any ideas for us? Please help!!! 

Boy clothes are tough, too. After having three girls, it's tough to switch to boy clothes. I find myself loving the boy toddler clothes so much more than the boy infant clothes. 

I find myself at the 10 week point until I get my stitch removed, and think I am so not ready to have this baby! I am still a bit in denial about the fact that he in fact is a boy. I think I will probably be in this so-called-denial until I hold his little body in my arms. 

For those of you who have had several children of one sex and went on to have a baby of another, how did you manage? Was it difficult? Did people make comments to you (I know people feel the need to make comments about anything, and if we were having another girl, we'd get comments about that, too...)? How did you prepare yourself? 


  1. Oh Steph, I totally understand your anxiety. If we have a girl in our next go-around, I'm going to feel the same way.

    Just know that I don't think anyone on earth ever wanted a girl more than I wanted one. I was convinced that Baby B (Brendan) was a girl the entire time. When he was born, he wasn't breathing immediately, so the doctor was focused on that and not on telling us the sex. Sean was trying to see and I kept saying, "What is it? What is it?" Finally Sean turned to me and said, "Its Brendan."

    I got choked up immediately. I looked only at Sean's eyes, not the baby, and said, "I wanted a girl." "I know.", he said. Then they brought Brendan over. And that was it. I never wished he was anything other than the perfect, gorgeous boy he is for another second.

    When you meet your little guy you'll feel the same way. Trust that and try not to let the comments of others make you nuts.

    PS. As far as boy clothes go, there are TONS of cute things out there, you just have to look a bit harder for them. I have no doubt you'll find them. Your girls always look like they're dressed for a photo shoot, and your little prince will too. Old Navy is a good place to start. Children's Place and Gymboree are probably clearing everything out right now. And if we end up stationed near one another, you're welcome to borrow whatever you need. Tell Kevin we've got UMich outfits in every size.

  2. I had to take a few days to not tell anyone the gender of Nathan because I had to process it for myself. I wanted a girl. I wanted one boy and one girl. We had our boy when we had Aiden and Nathan was supposed to be a girl. But after I went through the mild gender disappointment, I got really excited about it and I've never wished he were anything other than what he is since then.

    As far as names go, if we weren't done (which we are) and we had another boy, I'd name him Kellan Patrick. John says he wouldn't have agreed to it because it's "too Irish" (well, excuuuuse me for being part Irish!), but I would have convinced him somehow.

  3. Thanks, both of you. I have no doubt that when he is actually in our arms that it will become real (and exciting)...actually, when we saw his actual face a few weeks ago, it made things better for us. I just wish people didn't assume that we only wanted a boy - or we would have been disappointed with a girl - or that we were relieved....really? I just wish people wouldn't be so caught up over sex, and be caught up over a healthy baby...

    I appreciate you both making me feel normal in my feelings. I think it helps that Kevin feels the same, and it's funny because most assume that Kevin is the one who is "more" relieved, but he feels the same as I do (at least that's what he shares with me).

    Carrie - it's funny you mention Kellan - that is one of our "top" names - Kevin likes that the best.

    Katie - thanks for the offer of sharing clothes, and the same goes if you ever have a girl. It's going to be SO hard for me to put away infant girl clothes...they all have a lot of memories attached to them!

    Thanks again for your comments & support!!!

  4. I'm probably not the right person to be responding to this, but my heart feels for you. I love your honesty. Your transparency. I am blessed to be going through this all "with" you.

    You can have all our boy names. Peyton and Logan were our top two, but I have a whole list of other ones that I can share-David vetoed everything! ;)

    I know that Prince will be smothered with love by those precious princesses.

    From the other know I am hearing all the other stuff. "Oh, you must have wanted a boy." "Oh, sorry" "Will you try again?" WHAT???????

    People should just bite their tongues. Ugh.

  5. People should just bite their tongues!!!

    Thanks for your words, and your name list!!! Love the girl name BTW! :)

  6. I agree people should keep comments like those to themselves! Being an expectant mother for the first time before we found out pink or blue people would always tell me oh I can totally picture you with a daughter but not really a son. Those comments always kinda rubbed me the wrong way what if I was going to have a son? We are having a daughter (at least that what they said at an ultrasound at 21 weeks) but still I do want a little boy someday this only baby #1 after all!
    Anyways thanks for stopping by Piece by Piece! Anytime you want projects ideas for the girls or the little man on the way just let me know I'm happy to share!!!

  7. I always knew I'd have a girl and I'll be honest, I was not thrilled at the idea of having a boy mainly because I was worried that at my age I couldn't keep up with one, or be able to relate well to him. (Of course, our girl may turn out to be incredibly active, too!)

    I understand the name issue. It's hard to find a boys name that isn't bland. One name Q and I like is Gabriel. And being of Scottish heritage, I love Angus but unfortunately most people immediately think of meat when they hear it!

    I have a feeling you'll love the challenges that come with having a boy. And don't beat yourself up for feeling apprehensive about it, I think those feelings are normal.

  8. Thanks, Tree!
    I am certain that once this little prince comes, he will be the light of everyones lives here! And, how can he not be so happy surrounded by so many females :)


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