DC it is...

Sometimes you think you can prepare yourself for certain circumstances. You try to prepare yourself mentally for what is to come, even though, it isn't quite what you want - but no matter how much you try to prepare, it is never quite good enough...

I know both Kevin and I have been preparing ourselves for our next transfer for a while, telling ourselves, we probably won't be staying here in Maine or even getting to stay in New England, thinking  maybe we will be pleasantly surprised when we find out we will get what we have wanted - to stay here in New England. Sometimes it is just easier to push those thoughts aside and choose to not think about reality and every so often, I find myself just ignoring the inevitable. Maybe if I don't think about moving, it won't happen. Yeah, I know, silly, but, sometimes it is just easier that way.

But then, just like that, you are slapped right back into reality.... when your friends or family ask if you've heard where you are moving or when your husband calls you and tells you the jobs he requested have been filled - by someone else...

As I sit here looking at home rentals in Northern Virginia, I can't help but think......no, this is not our home. This is not what I want. This isn't right. I want this house. I want to walk down the end of our long driveway, look left and see the water. I want to sit outside on our deck and hear the seagulls or smell the beach. I want to have spontaneous dinners on the beach with our girls and spend our days there. Kevin and I poured our heart and soul into this house - probably not the smartest choice, but we knew the location would give our family just what we were looking for. - and it has. We laid every piece of hardwood floor by ourselves. I painted every single room. Kevin hung molding and countless other things. Kevin and I hung our kitchen cabinets (while I was big and pregnant might I add) and knocked down walls and countless other things. We made this house our home and the best part - we did it together. I guess I should mention it is so much more than our home - it is everything. It is where we live and the people who are in our lives here - everyone from our family to our friends to those who teach our children. I think about living away from family and how we will be on our own to care for our four small children, my parents will no longer be just an hour car ride away to take the girls for a sleepover or to help with whatever we may need. When we moved here, I never would have imagined feeling so welcomed by a community like we have been. We have an awesome life here. Wow. This is making my hormones rage! Dealing with this while being pregnant is tough!

I also know that we put DC on our list for a reason (and I keep telling myself this). It's the lesser of many evils. We knew if we didn't get our top choices, that we would be sent to DC. We lived there for four (me, three) years, we have friends there, and it isn't so foreign to us - we know what we are getting ourselves into. It is a fairly good place for families and again, it is nice to know we will have friends welcoming us back - that is what makes this all more bearable.

So for now, we will be disappointed, but try and accept what is handed to us, and eventually we will make the best out of a disappointing situation. We know it could be worse, and for that, we are thankful to be going to DC as opposed to other locations or other shitty situations that so many people are faced with every day.