It's going to happen. Again.

Wow. This is all becoming too real for me. You know, the whole giving birth part. I can't believe I am going to have to push another baby out of me in just a few short weeks. I think about my experiences with the girls and they have all been really, really great, but you know, pushing a baby out of there is never a whole lot of fun no matter how quick and easy it may seem. Especially when you don't use drugs. Yeah, why do I do that again??? and again? and again? 

With all three girls I have elected to have them naturally. No medications. No epidural. Nada. I am planning on doing it again. My head keeps flashing back to one particular photograph my sister in law took during Clara's birth. My face looks like I am in hell. I really don't want to go back there again! I guess that is why they call it 'the ring of fire'!

I have not gone into labor on my own - they have never allowed me to get that far. I tend to dilate pretty much painlessly, and each time I've gone in to get checked, I've been 5-6cm, so of course, they don't let me go home, they break my water, and voila! An hour or two later, I have a baby. It's been a pretty good gig, and I assume it will happen similarly with this kid. My labor is pretty easy once they break my water, but pushing........oh god, I hate pushing. I think it was especially worse with Clara because she was our biggest baby at 7lbs (at 36w2d!!!), a pound MORE exactly than Lilah (6lbs), our second born...she hurt me. But, once they are born, I feel amazing. And since I pushed for only 10 minutes with Clara, I guess I shouldn't be able to complain...too much. Giving birth is invigorating, no really, it is!


It's funny because people say that you tend to forget all about the pains of childbirth after your first child, and that is what makes you want to do it again....I'd say that rings true for your second - you are just so in to having your baby....your first baby, and you don't know what to expect for yourself. But what about your third? your fourth? No way. There is no amnesia goin' on in my mind right now. I remember pleading with my OB during Clara's delivery to "just cut me" and get her out. I remember feeling like she was never going to come out. It seemed like an eternity even though it was only 10 minutes. Ha!

Even thinking about having our fourth child I still wonder if this labor and delivery will be like the first three. I pray it is. It couldn't go any better as far as childbirth is concerned. I love the fact that my body knows what to do, and as long as I listen to my body, let it do its job, then everything will go just as it should. Making sure I stay in control mentally is the most important part in childbirth, at least for me. Thankfully, when I asked Kevin what I have been like during childbirth, he says I am not a screamer and that I am focused and possessed. Ah, that sounds about right...

I think about meeting our newest little sweetheart and it makes it all worth it in the end...that's why I keep doing it, right? :)

Tomorrow, I have an ultrasound, which will most likely be my last. My cerclage removal is set for April 4th if all continues to go as planned.....less than two weeks ago. Absolutely Insane.