Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Behind the scenes.....a dad's perspective

Last night, I was at the hospital with Callum and I came home to Kevin telling me he had written out his "own" blog post. I've mentioned in the past how it's kind of fun (at times) to watch Kevin squeal a bit when it comes to spending time with the kids. Well, I think Kevin is certainly squealing...just a bit! 

I'll update on Callum a bit later in the day. So far, so good though! 


I know there are many people who have been checking Steph’s blog frequently to see how baby Callum is doing.  Believe it or not, even her own husband learns things about his baby through the blog.  You see – behind every great car is a great design, behind every great work of is a great artist, and well, behind Callum’s recovery and Steph’s detailed updates on his progress, is a great…well… more like battered, beaten, and nearly defeated husband trying to keep together a home that Steph assures me is ops normal.  

So in the midst of baby Callum’s illness, I thought I’d hijack the blog for a few moments and try to put a lighter spin on some of the logistics of managing three little girls so Momma can be with her baby boy.  You see, I believe a baby needs his Momma in a way that a Daddy cannot provide, so I’m happy to visit as often as I can but I do believe my true role in this difficult chapter of our lives is to support Steph the best I can so she can focus all of her attention where it is truly needed, at Callum’s side.  

Before I take all the credit for conducting this orchestra of life, I must say that our friends and family have been tremendously supportive.  There is not a time that I have wanted to visit the hospital that I have not been able to and we really have more help than we can accept.  That has been a blessing to know how much love surrounds us.  

Back to that great…. well… more like battered, beaten, and nearly defeated husband.  I’m not saying I need the help and cannot handle the kids.  I’m not sending a message to Steph that she needs to spend more time at home.  What I’m saying is that every husband needs to walk, no run, to his wife and apologize.  Apologize for all those thoughts you think when you get home from work.  You know what I’m talking about, “why is the house a mess?  You forgot to run my errand?  How could you not have time for that?”  I can honestly say I have no idea how Steph does it, and manages to stay put together and have the kids look sharp at the same time.  I’m just happy to leave the house with three kids!  

Here’s an example of me getting the kids out of the house today:

Steph was at the hospital without a car so she asked if I could take the kids to pick her up about 5:30PM.  No problem I thought.  It was 4:30 at the time, plenty of time to get ready.  We finished our art project, cleaned up, and were ready to go.  I told the girls to go the bathroom.  The oldest two complied.  I went to put Clara on the potty to find out she had peed her pants, without a diaper on.  You see, before baby Callum arrived, Clara was potty trained.  She spends all her time at the house while not sleeping without a diaper, and even does short trips to the store without a diaper.  She hadn’t pooped in a diaper in weeks, and rarely has pee accidents.  Over the two days she has pooped two diapers, pooped in her booster seat and finger painted with it, and peed around the house more than a dog marking his territory.  

Anyways, back to the story…I head upstairs to get Clara some new leggings so we can head to the hospital.  I come downstairs and see Mairead dart out the front door yelling, “Clara, COME BACK!”  I sprint through the house and out the door to see Clara turning the corner onto our street at an eighteen-month-old trot, 3-year-old Lilah egging her on, and Mairead, trying to play mother hen and corral them as she runs down the driveway after them.  I sprinted down our 100 feet-long driveway (almost pulling a hammy) after them, turned the corner, and was greeted by our neighbor, who has two young children of their own.  She asked how it was going?  How could I lie, I had been caught red handed:

“It’s going great, just thought I’d let an eighteen month old and three year old go for a walk down to the water.”  

I confessed.  She offered to help.  I turned and took my humble self back to the house, put the kids in the car, and made it to the hospital.  

So Steph is at the hospital tonight, the girls are in bed (a story for another blog), and I’m sitting here, drinking some wine, realizing why steph asks me rub her feet this time every night.  No, it’s not easy.  But I know it’s the best way I can help.  The kids need me now, and while they won’t have pretty bows in their hair, be on time, or have matching cute outfits on, Steph can rest easy because they will be safe and loved.  

I wish I could have included some funny photos in this but do you think I have time for that!  


  1. HAHAHA that was AWESOME Kev! Oh a day in the life right?? Although you 6 are surely going through a bit of a struggle right now, and will no doubt come out on top, it is nice to see Dads have a reality check into our days=) You're a great dad and Steph's a great mom! Kudos to you two, I can barely handle my two = ) So glad you are able to be there with the girls so Steph can be there for Callum. Call me if you need me, I'm always around! ((hugs)) to you all!

  2. This was a pleasure to read, not because of the content per-say, but because of your honesty. It is hard. It is hard for us moms too, we just appear to always have it together more often than dads. :) Three girls can be a handful for any great dad....ask my husband!
    Thank you for your love for your children and your wife and recognizing where she needs to be. We are praying for life to get back to "normal" very soon.

  3. Outstanding entry, Kev! Nice to hear about Dad's side of things now and then. And although we only have 2 kids and have never experienced anything like what you guys are going through, I can certainly commiserate about the joys of managing them for a day or two without help. But what I think we all really want to know is, what did Clara draw when she was "finger painting"?

  4. Great Post Kev! And nice job holding down the fort while Steph tends to Callum. You are a wonderful hubby and dad. So glad Steph has you by her side. Love and Prayers to you all, as you fight this battle together.
    The Cristensons ;)

  5. what a great post, I really enjoyed it. You are a great family and it was nice to see how supportive you are of all your girls. :)

  6. Oh the midst of the unimaginable stress the six of you are going through right now, I hope it means something when I tell you that this post made my day. I was laughing so hard at the mental images you created, that I had to keep stopping to wipe my eyes so that I could see to continue reading.

    I've had one of 'those' days today, where I think, "I never knew how much work my mom was doing...right in front of me." Until I became a mother, I never truly appreciated how much energy it takes to raise healthy, happy, well-rounded children, to make a house a home. Your perspective on Steph's everyday life was hilarious and refreshing.

    We're praying hard for Callum...for all of you.

    Take care,

    Katie (Brady)

  7. tears in my eyes, little emotional
    Great post

  8. Hee hee! How did I miss this one? Love the mental images conjured up here--who knew you were such a writer, Kevin? Bruce and I are beyond thrilled that Callum is home now (just to clarify--Bruce keeps calling him "cah-lum" and I'm saying it's "cay-lum"--who's right?) and that your lives are slowly getting back to normal. As normal as they can be with three little girls and a baby boy in the house! WHEW!


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