Sunday, May 2, 2010

Full hands?

Having three kids that are close in age is bound to turn heads. It never fails no matter where we go people also feel the need to tell me that I have my hands full - "oooh, wow! Do you have your hands full!" or "Wait! They're all yours? How is it?". I have to be honest, I don't understand why people need to tell me this. Wait, scratch that. I have to be honest, I don't really understand what people mean by this statement - do they mean that my hands are full. Literally? Do they mean it in a negative way, like why do I have three young children, or why do I take them out in public? Or do they mean it in the way I would hope they mean it - that my hands are full....full of love.

Yes. I am not going to lie to you. Having three girls who are all close in age can be tough, but in all honesty, the greatest things in life don't come that easy, right?  I like the challenge. I like the controlled chaos. I love it all.

Every Monday, Mairead has dance class. After class, we head over to the local grocery store and do our weekly food shopping. It never fails - I always have at least one person tell me A) my hands are full, B) Ask if they are all mine? or C) Ask if they are twins - The last one really makes me laugh as it is pretty obvious they are NOT twins! I am proud of my girls and how they behave out in public. Usually, Clara is on my back, Lilah is in the cart and Mairead is happily walking. I am lucky as grocery shopping has never been tough for me. The girls like it. They get cheese. They like to look at Lobby the Lobsters. They talk to the Seafood man. They pick out their fruits. We laugh together. And if they're good, they may even get to eat their Dum Dum Lolipop from dance class. I am lucky. Our girls are well behaved, and I love when people recognize that. It makes me feel so good. 

Anyways. Back to the hands full topic. So, I just don't get it. Why do people feel the need to make comments about how many children we have? Or how close in age they are? Or get this - if we did THIS on purpose! I am serious about the last one. Geez! What would they think if I told them I'd consider having just one more? Wait, I don't care what people think. It's our business how many children we choose to have. I love our girls. I love the closeness of their ages. It is the best. Children are a blessing, and having siblings teaches children about sharing, friendship and caring for others. What an amazing life lesson for our children!

Having children close in age means one thing. Taking it day by day. It isn't always easy, it won't always be easy, but I will always love my girls. I love spending every day with them. They won't be little forever, and I try to cherish each day we have together. My hands are so full of love. You can't have too much love....


  1. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to a point that I told David if I heard one more person say this I was going to punch them. Would you believe it was a little old lady who said it next....he looked at me waiting for my right hook! HA!
    I hate the statement. Mostly because it implies that I am full...not able to carry more or handle what I have. I can. I do.
    I like the "full of love" as a response. I think I am going to use that one Steph!

  2. This reminds me of a few weeks back at the grocery store: A woman was shopping with her three sets of twins, all fairly close together in age. And they were all being so well-behaved, but wouldn't you know it...there were people POINTING and STARING and making very rude comments under their breath. I was disgusted at the behavior of these grown "adults". I gave the worst ones some pretty disgusted looks as I walked past...they looked embarrassed that they'd been overheard, but certainly not sorry. Just because I wouldn't choose that for myself, doesn't mean I'm going to judge anyone else who wanted to have all those children. I betcha anything that her life was full of joyful craziness! They were all well-dressed and well-behaved. I can't even get my two kids to be well-dressed and well-behaved some days!

  3. I get the hands full comment all the time, and there is only two of them. And they are further apart then Lilah and Mairead. So people will just say it. Sometimes I wonder if poeple just want to make conversation and don't know what to say! Instead people should say..."oh what beautiful children you have, your house must be filled with laughter!" But that will never happen!

  4. Boy do I hear you Steph! My hands are full of love as well. And I only have two, but seeing that I'm pregnant, people definitely make coments. Some are nice, most others aren't so nice. I was at one of those stupid candle parties recently, so I only knew the host, and you wouldn't you know the coments were flying from other mom's who were "One and Done" as they called it. and "Boy you have your hands full, was probably said 50 million times that evening. And was probably the least offensive. "are you and Kevin against birth control?" and "I heard you were going to keep having children til you can't aford anymore" Were among some of the real jems, needless to say, I left early, because unlike them, I actually miss my kids when I go out. And they were all glad to get away from theirs, just goes to show you not everyone views children as a blessing Steph. I'm sure glad you do, and I wish we all lived closer. I called my mother afterwards fuming mad. I shouldn't have let it bother me, I didn't know them, and they obviously aren't the kind of women I would want to surround myself with anyways.

  5. I get the hands full comment ALL THE TIME. I also get, "Are they twins?" To which I wish I was brave enough to respond, "No, that one is 9 months older." YES they're twins! Can two siblings be exactly the same height and weight, with the exact same eyes, hair, dimples, and trouble-maker grins and not be twins? I roll my eyes internally and try to give a pleasant yes. At this point in the conversation there is some mention of who THEY know that has twins. "My aunt's, daughter's, sister-in-law has twins." What can I say here? "Oh, really? That's great."

    The final question? Are they your only 2? Like, its OK to have two kids if you didn't do it on purpose. Sean and I want at least one more, maybe two...and you're right Steph. It's no one else's business!


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