I am sitting with my Angel...

Last year's Valentines was a lot different than todays. I don't remember exactly what we did last year on Valentine's day, but I do remember Kevin and deciding to have a quiet dinner at home. We stopped at the local meat market and picked up some filet mignon and jumbo shrimp. We ate with the girls, and then put the girls to bed. We had planned to watch a movie together and enjoy the evening.

On February 3rd, I had found out I was pregnant with Clara. We were overjoyed with the thought of having another baby! It was the best birthday gift one could have, so needless to say my birthday and Valentines was great, and we had lots to happy about!

That evening, I parked myself on the couch while I waited for Kevin to come downstairs. I had an odd feeling down below...so off to the bathroom I went. I had to pee anyways, so I thought I'd check things out. I wiped, and looked and then I gasped. There. Was. Blood. "No." I thought. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I had had spotting with Mairead, but never red blood. I called Kevin into the bathroom. My heart sunk. I knew there wasn't anything anyone could do, but wait. We didn't watch a movie that night. I knew what to expect. We went to bed instead, and I worried all night long, waiting to wake up to heavy bleeding. I don't remember how many trips to the bathroom I made, but it was a lot. It never got worse, and that gave me hope.

We made our way into the ER the next day and they couldn't tell me anything really. They didn't see a baby in there. I didn't expect them to, I was just pregnant. They questioned an ectopic pregnancy, said they saw a "mass" on my ovary, and didn't give me the reassurance I was looking for. Later on we found I had what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage . Thankfully, since our bean had a strong heartbeat by 6 weeks, we had a very good chance of carrying our bean to a healthy pregnancy.

I think back to one year ago tonight. I am here, sitting in the same exact spot I was sitting in, but I am sitting with my little angel, Clara. She is 4.5 months old and a healthy baby girl. I am so thankful to have her here in our lives. She brings all of us so much joy. You just look at her and she smiles at you. The way I felt last Valentines day is so completely different of how I feel tonight. I have my valentine Kevin here who is always by my side, and I have my three, healthy angels, one of which I never thought would be here with us today. I am so lucky.